completed my testings at newlife college today. did a total of 47 children up till now.. yays~ 33 more to go~!

it was quite good today at newlife. today was their book character dress up day. haha. i was there early, so then joined them in their assembly+parade thingy....quite cool....i enjoyed myself. haha. the staff actually joined in the dressup too. principal came dressed as Pink panther's Inspector Clouseau. loL~

i dunno if it was because of all this excitement, today's kids....were exceptionally......talkative and active. haha...i had to go "so...lets get back to the game shall we?" ... like 2 or 3 times...heh...but it was good fun.. haha.

and wat was really unexpected was...while i was bidding farewell to the teacher, 2 of the 5year olds whom i've tested came up to me and gave me their drawings.. in their super sweet and innocent voice, they said "i did this for you" and handed me their drawings. so sweeet~ gosh..din quite expect that...and before i walked out the door, 2 other girls ran up to me and gave me a hug. wow... sure was heart-warming. these kids really made my day..haha.....cldnt stop smiling as i drove all the way back home.

and some other kids whose parents din return the consent forms crowded around me and asked why didnt i 'play' with them... i didnt quite know how to answer them though. aww so sad~! im gonna miss those kids~

anyway, adrenalin's up next!!

rain extravaganza

pretty self-explanatory. rained the whole day today. an entire day to myself to do my readings or whatever, in this case... blog. in the comfort of my room. haha. so thats good. but lets hope it'll be bright and sunny tomorrow, cos im gonna start testing tmr at newlife college. weather probably? lots of kids have been sick, flu-ey and all...that probably explains why i only get back about half the parental consent forms that has been sent out? if not i don understand why the parents are reluctant to let their child take part in the study...or probably the forms never got to them? haa.. which reminds me, i had an anxious parent calling me early one morning, asking if it was tooo late for her child to participate, cos the child stuffed the consent form in a corner of the bag, and she just found out abt it that morning. that was quite funny i thought. haaha.

lately i've been thinking quite abit abt getting PR and the possibility of doing masters/phd. quite psyched up after chatting with sm about that..should be fun with more hands on stuff. but anyway, i'll blog about this another time.

so tmr's gonna be a full day...and i guess the whole week ahead's gonna be quite full on too, with adrenalin over the weekend, and more testings. and im really looking forward to all of that. yeah bring it on!

O_o

despite her willingness to help...i still feel like strangling her. -_-" gave this principal more than a week's time to send out the parental consent forms...and i've been waiting with hope in my heart...and ...THIS is what greeted me in the morning when i checked my email.

Hi Nona,
I was planning to send home the letters today, but I seem to havemisplaced them. Could you please email me the Principal letter andpermission slip and the parent letter and permission slip?
Thanks,
Jo

excellent....now im delayed by another week...because i have to wait for the parental consent forms to get back........zzzzzzz. and i thought i was done with complaining abt the efficiency level here in perth....thought i should have gotten use to it by now.... but really...i don't think thats ever gonna happen...they just outdo themselves every single time.

note to self: peace peace....this is not gonna spoil my day. DEEP BREATH!

yesterday, i planned to wake up early again today to continue with my thesis and all. haha..but in the end woke up later than expected...and with abit of a backache. i dont know how that happened.

but anyways, today's a lazy lazy day. slacked it away. but overall wasnt too bad. taking things slow. aha.. and i suddenly miss my CD collection i left back in sg. bored of those i have here. i dont have much here anyways....a few praise CDs, one David Tao album..David gates songbook....killbill OST...thats abt it...dont even wanna look at them anymore. and as most of you know, i've already deleted my massive store of mp3s.....and since i can't live a day (almost) without music....imeens the next best thing. haha.

spent quite a fair bit of time listening to music and just reading some non-thesis related stuff today.. loL...which is very the good. and oOoo found alot of Lisa Ono's music on imeen and i've created a playlist out of those~ so yays~ and nice things must share. haha..so i've created a nice little chillout corner in this blog. haha.... take a break, sit back and relax. (:

exclusively swong.

excerpt from typical msn conversation with my dearest cell intern (whom we all just can't resist loving, can we? =p) :

I'll sing in the darkness, I'll laugh in the rain says:
haha. cause no reply for so long...so I thought u gone away..

JY says:
orh...u nv ask question mah. so nothing to reply lo

I'll sing in the darkness, I'll laugh in the rain says:
HAHA. okeyy. how was the apple that u ate just now?

JY says:
wat apple?

I'll sing in the darkness, I'll laugh in the rain says:
HAHAH. I was trying to see if I zhun anot...just randomly guess 1 fruit.

JY says:
...............


p/s: for the record, i ate strawberries and kiwi fruit today. try harder next time round. =p

okay i've decided i really hate blue. haha. feel so blue everytime i visit my own blog. brown and green shall be it for now.. not so sure if its a good mix of colors..but anyways..abit more soothing to my eyes. loL...colors from nature. heh..makes me feel more at peaceeeeeeeee.

OoH, amazing what colors do to you. aha...i feel different now. heh.. is it the colors..or isit just me this morning? hmm..heh...i woke up at 645am (even before my alarm sounded) feeling really refreshed and well-rested. i use to be a night person..aha.... seems that age is catching up. loL... more of a morning person now. feel so at peace in the morning. feeling real glad that i've still got a whole day ahead to get my work done. i did some readings just now...and guess wat, its only 10am now! love it. ahha...okay. motivated! back to work.

why the sudden uplift in spirit? well eh, nothing has changed. i just felt like like being cheery today. haha. OooO...and the weather's really quite good today too. matches my mood.

hmm..wat more can i say..indeed His mercies are new each morning!

*sings* i've got peace like a river i've got peace like a river..i've got peace like a river in my soul in my soul

stop!

What I got from last sunday's sermon was "walking without compromise". stay seperated, stay pure...and not take on worldly values.

I've been really convicted in this aspect. I never budge no matter what people say, as long as I'm certain what I do is right. At the end of the day I'll only need to account to Him.

Anyway theres no way I can please the whole world...humans, are just impossible creatures. i really really don't understand the way people function and how people think (okay...i know im writing as if im of a different species...but watever). like when u sincerely love people, they'll do the worst unimaginable things back at you. or say the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate time. its just double..triple...a hundred times more pain when that kinda thing comes from people close to heart. i rarely sweet talk, i don't beat about the bush when i do or say things. i just name what i see. i just do what i need to do. if i love u, i do through actions. not just say things that you'll like to hear. what's love anyway? since when is love about feeling good all the time? its about growing and learning. maybe i have low EQ, but then again, maybe not. people have to learn what, at some point in their life..don't they? 忠言逆耳!! okay out of point for now. anyway, of late i've been burdened by a few issues, and I've started to doubt myself about the things I do and say. and i really really really hate that! stuffs that i just never thought would occur. and its mightily irritating and annoying.

its time to put an end to this. there's no way i can control ppl's thoughts/actions... and there's no need for that anyway. But i've gotta stop questioning myself based on other ppl's attitude towards me...if not i'll go crazy sooner or later. stop and check, before i lose myself completely. since beliefs and values form the essence of one's identity, i guess its time for some re-evaluation. time to reflect..and to seek Him prayerfully. what in the world are my beliefs, where they orginated, and how they guide my life. are my beliefs distorted, is it limiting me? serving me? crippling my life? or what?

anyway, i'll be back to pen down my beliefs, thoughts and values. not that I don't know what they were before.. but i guess i'll just write them down to remind myself of who i am, before i lose myself in this crazy world.

Yet I will REJOICE IN THE LORD, I will be JOYFUL IN GOD MY SAVIOR

i have been feeling really unhappy lately. is that a choice? can i choose? can i choose to not be unhappy given certain circumstances?

happiness is but a state of mind? It's all in the mind? I'm not too sure about that.

but one thing for sure, choose to brood over your problems and your problems stay stuck like chewing gums to shoe. what should i do now? i don't know. thats why i choose not to think, i choose not to feel. i choose not to talk. i don't know what i can do anymore. there's nothing more for me to do actually. God grant me patience, help me in my disbelief. God grant me wisdom.

i have to maintain sanity, i have to finish up my work. thats the most practical thing i can do now. breathe breathe breathe.

try try try. magnify the smallest things in life.

The joy of the Lord, shall be my strength.

"Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights." Habakkuk 3: 17 - 19

在这人生的陌路上 -

阵阵寒风 停不了前进的脚步 断不了思念的哀畅
满怀惆怅 仍然在无知中祈求 依旧在失意后盼望

失败后 我学会坚强
哭泣后 我学着将烦恼遗忘

我会在艰苦中磨炼 并学着不让泪水将今日的光辉埋葬
只应为我还有明天 还有希望

silence is golden

disappointed. depressed. but no time to entertain those emotions.
thank God for work, and TV programs.

"i find every question intwerstwing...becos its easy peaaaasy"
and this kid got about half the questions wrong.

then the other kids go on and on...about how good they are at building sandcastles...what they got for their birthday (and he listed almost everyone in his family)....their favourite nursery rhyme..got to hear what little miss muffet did....and how one girl is angry with her dad cos he spilled water on her shoes, and how her mum has to spend money buying more expensive shoes for her....how one girl beats everyone at snap.. who their favourite simpsons character was...and the list goes on.

really random...but fun interacting with them. jus abit distressed when they were more interested in all the random stuffs, than doing those puzzles i have for them!

interaction with these kids has certainly magnified the view that God has created every individual uniquely. not one of them (us) is the same... i knew that beforehand, but still, was a little taken aback by the vast difference...haha.. same instructions given each time, but responses all came back totally different. some were quiet and receptive, some of them just wanna engage u in their talk about what interest them, some were just too active...and some just didnt bother! anyway...that was fun. i love kids. *BUT STILL, lets just pray i get testing out of the way soon though* aha...really not much time left.

so then..lets start with bad news of the day. i've finished testing all the kids in MMPS (total of 23 children)... sighs. some of them didnt return the parental consent form. so thats alright..i'll just concentrate on writing these few days.

so then, New Life Christian primary just got back to me today..they've officially sent out consent forms...so i'll just need to wait for that. its about 10min drive away. which is good...but has only abt 20 children in total.

oh guess wat.......i havent had coffee for about a week!! and thats a must-have beverage for me everyday...must be cuz i've been rushing around quite a bit....aha.....i think i might just forget to breathe one day when i wake up. aha... okay thats bad....too little coffee too much crap... *coffee time* bye

for the very first time in my life, i saw my mum cringe in pain. even though it was for a shortwhile, my heart felt like it almost dropped out. anyway i can't describe that feeling.

sigh. that aside for now.

did another 7 children today at mmps. so a total of 17 out of 80 children done. good news is testing is obviously underway....and im having fun with the children..the experience is really quite good.

bad news is, i've ran out of year twos (7-yr olds) to do my testings. can still continue with my 5 year olds tomorrow though. for now, i think i can formally get participants from UWA child study centre (did piloting there previously)...then Xavier Catholic school just got back to me, and the principal seems pretty interested in my study......but i don't wanna bet too much on it. been disappointed too many times. bleah. so we'll see how it goes after i meet her this friday. *all fingers, toes..and watever that can be crossed... crossed*

so anyway... i can't think for now. that really explains why im here blogging just after i got back home...... when i have tons to do.gonna shower now...and think what i should do next.

*edit*
ops.....posted this entry wrongly into kardicell blog by mistake jus now. *copy and paste* -_-"
maybe i should sleep after bathing... aha..... full of excuses.

Love, for the day is near.

came across this really interesting (worrying!) stats thing through pascoaman's blog.
hopefully this will bring some awareness to what's going on in the world...
then again, we can always start first by being sensitive to the needs of the people around us. lets never cease praying for one another.




"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:35

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law." Romans 13:8

"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." Romans 12:10

yet will I praise You.

sighs, the really nice principal just emailed me, and withdrew her consent to proceed with testings at her school (ya...the 5min drive away school). basically the email said something about teachers not willing..too busy and blah.

so unexpected.. worst part was, i just declined an offer to meet up with another school, cos i reckoned i'll have enough participants with 2 schools combined. so now i'm left with one....and now i've gotta find hard for another school.

so anyway, not gonna worry too much first. will see how testing goes tmr... Im sure things will fall into place. God is always good.

FINALLY! i can start with my testings this coming monday! *phews*
i've got classmates who are done with their data collection and stuff....u see them around uni, and go "hey hows ur thesis coming along...." and they'll talk about stuff like publication...how fun it was collecting data in Spain (yeah man SPAIN! like how cool is that...3 weeks in spain just to get her data..its like half hols, half work! wat an awesome experience) and blah..and...ahah..like totally on a different level.....i didnt even think that far. but still, haha i guess i should really learn to enjoy this whole process, more. i guess its a norm to feel pressure and stress, but above all, must learn to have fun at work...haha...i'll reach there, someday, somehow.

"Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the LORD, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10

dilemna.

striking a balance!?

1st August 2007. thanksgiving.

• I've got permission from 2 primary schools to proceed with testing!

Mary's Mount Primary School - 45min drive (without getting lost >_<) Our Lady of Mt Carmel - 5min drive away!!! THANK GOD! (but this is a small primary school, so I'll probably get only about 30 participants - which is really good enough!). The principal's so nice too, and enthusiastic about my study (confirmed with me at least 3 times that she'll get a copy of the findings of my study)~ hee. made me abit stress in a good way... now I seem to be able to work with a purpose in mind. not that i didnt have any before, but that was just to aim for first class honours. NOW, there's an additional fire burning inside me, haha...i want to make some contribution to the research literature with regards to children's cognitive development! 我要做一个有用的人！ahaha~

• Outright approval from Ethics!
• Even though my supervisor is on maternity leave, she rocks still!! After I updated her on my progress in the pilot study...wah! her one comment is like revelation for me. well not exactly revelation, but still, put in quite alot of ideas in my head. Wondering how come I don't think like her, like why why why~ wooh~ so inspired! i want to read more! no doubt she'll be awesomer than awesome if she's in uni, but still..haha.....nevermind, i can be more independent. i am very independent anyway! =p
• Mum's coming this saturday, she's coming she's coming she's coming she's comingggg. i miss my mummyyyy~!! boohoo!
• for the people who have been concerned, who checks in making sure im alright, who nags even (aha)...for those keeping me in prayers. for swong who buys chocs for me after i got approval from my first primary schooL. hehe~so sweet~ u da cooL fart fart! and helping me ease abit of printing costs...heheh~ and li-chan who is sitting right opp me now, waiting for me to be done to prepare dinner. hahaha) anyway..all you in perth and sg~ not gg to be too emo and name everyone...but still u noe who u are~ appreciate it :))) eh i won't say its gonna be any easier from now on.. but still its so much more cope-able knowing people are sincerely concerned. :)
• and thank God for a mentor now too~ though..i don't know wat's happening exactly also. aha... but anyway it should be something good and of God. good stuff.
• very happy and thankful also that sister got into hons!! yippee~ happy for u! jya isshouni ganbarimashoo!!!

so thank God..thank God thank God. paiseh li-chan. lets go fill our tummies before we continue a-mugging.