it is at times like these.. that i just feel lost, tired, exasperated..and whatever other emotions that i can feel yet cant find words to describe. definitely pain is there.

after a day of research work..i dont feel as if i've made any advancement with regards to my thesis, like nothing concrete churned out, just plain absorbing of information.

then comes a phone call from home in the evening that carries a bad news. just this one bad news is enough to bring me down.

i guess this is a period of time where i really understand and appreciate the phrase "no news is good news".

enough said for now.

mike in perth.

yosh my hao jie mei. haha. was great catching up with u and all~ reminiscising crazy and fun lower sec days, AND getting you hooked onto xman. heheh.

despite the limited time.. hope u had fun! seeya when im back! vietnam together next time round =p

random.

thanks to li-chan who kept reminding me abt the 'banana song'..

i heard a piece of news through the radio this morning while busy getting lost amidst gooseberry hill......banana prices are soaring again - due to wet and cold season in queensland.

*woe* no more bananas for me this semester! its currently abt $7/KG....and its going up up up up and up...........zzzzz

fruitful morning.

I've got a YES from MMPS! thank God! yippiee~

but then again, that place really quite ulu, and far. i got lost this morning, thank God i set out 1hr 30min earlier. then i got there just in time...like 925am. so yeaps...praise God for that. the principal say will get back to me on how many participants are available and stuff, but generally he can only allow 2 weeks for the whole testing to be done cos their schedule quite packed and all.

not too sure if i can complete all 80 kids in that time frame, that is if they have 80 kids for me. meanwhile though, I still need to find one or two other primary schools. hopefully a primary school nearer to me will respond this time.

and guess what, i've got an email from the principal of Our Lady of Mt Carmel. she's willing to meet up to discuss about my study ~ yippieee~ lets hope this will work out too~ cos its much much much nearer to home.

yeaps..so those are the goood news. i've got a few bad news......some hiccups here and there..but nyeah...

anyways, quite kancheong about this pilot study on 31st July... like wondering.. and hoping against hope the 5year olds will understand what the word interesting means...and that i'll be able to have their attention on the tasks to be administered. its gonna be fun! i hope..~ aha..

after a whole day of work in the library....it started pouring like mad just as im about to head home. i want my hot bath and dinner!

anyway here i am, back in the library, typing this brainless post......

tick tock tick tock.......

Dear God please make the rain stop! Amen.

......
..........
.........................

okay im gonna check if my prayer has been answered.

finally i got a reply from one of the primary schools. so then meeting the principal this coming wednesday. that school is like...50min drive away. but still better than nothing.... also thankful its not all the way up albany or anything. >_< hopefully, that principal's sincerely interested in my study..and willing to help. *prays*

i've got something i wanted to blog about, but it slipped my mind....and the few issues weighing my mind now, i have no wish to blog. zzz

fifth day michael's here. only been out once with him for dinner. and it was nearby at bateman. haaha. rest of the time..i just left him to travel around alone. not too bad, like did some catching up and stuffs like when he got back from sightseeing. don't think he changed much from secondary school days though. haa.. but he did mention i was alot quieter. can't recall...maybe i was too talkative during lower sec days.

anyway, on the whole.. i still really just wanna do my own stuff. haa... at least now, i am contented with the way i am, with how i am handling my emotions my thoughts my work my life. though i can't say i am satisfied with the current state of things.

i guess i just need sometime to figure out alot of stuffs. or to come to terms with somethings. or probably, its just about waiting. waiting upon the Lord.

suddenly the sermon by ps melvyn comes to mind..he said waiting can either cause us to be bitter or better. so i guess..i'll choose the latter.

i'll continue to believe to trust to run.and i'll win, because God always does the right thing.

Even when I do not understand, may You continue to help me walk in step with Your plans for me.

"but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint." Isa 40: 31

as requested. =)

Comment and I shall:

for li-chan~ ...who adopted this from dubbers. loL

1. Tell you why I friended you.
because u're one of my first few friends in perth, first friend from psych, we stayed in SV, did groceries together, u waited for me patiently when i was checking out those baked beans, haha..! we mug together, we mug together (oh wait did i jus say that..haa)..we slack together, we whine together, we cry (one after another, sad, but quite funny on hindsight. haha.), we laughed (ALOT) together, we xman together, we cook together, we pig out together, we 'share knowledge' with one another...comfortable around you, too comfortable maybe. haha.... and...you're insane and I LOVE IT..well you, i mean. loL

2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.
1) Choo-chee-yaaa-na! 2) "red alert" hahaha 3) your imitation of a jellyfish.

3. Tell you something I like about you.
you're very calm (but i know sometimes beneath tat exterior ur stressed too). and u hav no temper. haha...so nice until i dunno how to bully u. lOL. and u have...2385298365423875 million kinds of expressions......laugh until i can fall off my chair.

4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
ermm, i have alot leh. now lets see....our first grocery shopping expedition...us walking all the way back from kardi to SV with like 100KG (okay im exaggerating..but certainly feels like it...aha) worth of groceries back, why nv take bus ah? too kiam siap...everything damn ex ard here. hahaha.

5. Associate you with a character/pairing.
dunno..i look at u...............and a jellyfish pops to mind. hahaha.

6. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
Why do you like RED so much?
because...it represents passion! appeals to me naturally...haha. ermz....red red red..i dunno why leh.....i jus love it. haha. and i love green too, so sometimes i walk ard looking like its Christmas season...ooOoh...which happens to be my favourite occasion. haha. ops...okay out of point.

7. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.(chorused Dub) WHERE?!!!
-_-" come my place...and u'll see it. haha. its a thing of the past. =p

8. In return, you must post this in your BLOG.
okay done. haha

Rest for the weary.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11: 28-30

Thank You Lord.

*yawns*

picked this up from dubbers.

[one] what is your natural hair color?
[honestly] black.

[two] where is your default picture on myspace taken?
[honestly] -

[three] what's your middle name?
[honestly] -

[four] your current relationship status?
[honestly] freeee!

[five] does your crush like you back?
[honestly] How would I know?

[six] what is your current mood?
[honestly] Hungry and restless

[seven] what colour underwear are you wearing?
[honestly] Why do you want to know? green.

[eight] what makes you happy?
[honestly] Coffee! chocolate...and ICE CREAM!

[ten] if you could go back in time and change something, what you would change?
[honestly] i believe everything happens for a reason. so nope, not going back in time.

[eleven] if you must be an animal for one day, what would you be?
[honestly] A horse. not the one in the zoo. preferably the one in plains of inner mongolia..or somewhere on a mountain top.

[twelve] ever had a near death experience?
[honestly] car crash.

[thirteen] something you do a lot?
[honestly] watching tv programs.

[fourteen] the song stuck in your head?
[honestly] dunno the title, this song sung by kim jong kook....cos i just finished an episode of xman! haha!

[fifteen] who did you copy and paste this from?
[honestly] ballater height's very own ahlam-bah-one. hahaaha

[sixteen] name someone with the same birthday as you?
[honestly] sister!! Cheryl Chung Kai Xin! heh~

[seventeen] when was the last time you cried?
[honestly] last week.

[eighteen] have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
[honestly] i was in church choir once..............for a very short while. haha.

[nineteen] if you could have one super power what would it be?
[honestly] for now..i think.. to travel through portals..that kinda thing u know. like *poof* and i'll be at home back in SG. *poof* downsouth doing testing on some pri sch kid *poof* back home for dinner* haha...save time on travelling, more time with loved-ones.

[twenty] what's the first thing you notice about the preferred sex?
[honestly] height!? haha. can't miss that right

[twenty-one] what do you usually order from starbucks?
[honestly] Vanilla frapp with whipped cream please. thank you. [why no starbucks in perth!!?]

[twenty-two] what's your biggest secret?
[honestly] Can't think of any right now.

[twenty-three] favorite colors?
[honestly] Red, green, orange, pink, white. anything la..i jus dun like blue and black.

[twenty-five] do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
[honestly] im young at heart~ haha =p

[twenty-six] what are you eating or drinking at the moment?
[honestly] it's 1.17AM.... i shldnt be, and im glad im not.

[twenty-seven] you speak any other language?
[honestly] engreesh, chinese, hokkien, a leeeeeeeetle bit of jap and poquito espanol? loL...

[twenty-eight] what's your favorite smell?
[honestly] Fresh cut grass...and rain.

[twenty-nine] if you could describe your life in one word what would it be?
[honestly] complicated.

[thirty] when was the last time you gave/received a hug?
[honestly] erm...12th jul

[thirty-one] have you ever kissed in the rain?
[honestly] Nope.

[thirty-two] what are you thinking about right now?
[honestly] i am hungry. why am i doing this..is it ever gonna end. i wanna sleep now and wake up for breakfast. what should i have for breakfast?

[thirty-three] what should you be doing?
[honestly] readings for my thesis. finalising my test protocol.

[thirty-four] what was the last thing that made you upset?
[honestly] just awhile ago, mum said she wasnt feeling well.

[thirty-five] how often do you pray?
[honestly] everyday. these days at least..

[thirty-six] do you like working in the yard?
[honestly] i like getting my hands dirty.

[thirty-seven] if you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
[honestly] Im happy with mine.

[thirty-eight] do you act differently around your crush?
[honestly] Nope.

[thirty-nine] name one song that reminds you of an ex?
[honestly] Bryan White - God gave me you.

[forty] who was the last person to make you cry?
[honestly] actually...milermieew

....and the stomach continues to growl.............zzz. gooodnight.

:s

enfermo. no bueno mi amigo.
ahhhhhhh, por qué!?

southzonies~ yarps.. Rockstar cell leader on my left. drove all the way down from joondalup and tripped over a rubbish bin. haha.

pet swong and me

me and dubbers

thanks for baking this swong~ =)

HAHAHA!

though not a very flattering photo of takeshi kaneshiro (abit cock-eyed here leh)...and I look quite round here...still gotta post this up. haha.
li-chan made this for me as a birthday 'card'! burst out laughing when i saw this la~ haha....so sweeet of her! haha. anyway my takeshi looks good even if he's abit cock-eyed la. hahaha~ takeshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii *faints...

okay. goodnight ppl. haha.

thanks all~ =)

lots of 'firsts' this past year. haha..have spent almost all occasions out of Singapore. Christmas, new year, CNY..and missed quite a few good friends weddings. meh. so then, celebrated my birthday for the first time in Perth this year too.

well didnt exactly celebrate, cos i didnt have anything planned out. but still i enjoyed myself heaps. thanks josh and suli who invited me over to their flat for dinner. haa..josh whipped up a really good meal, lamb dish, mixed vege (yarps they know with me around, cannot miss out the greens. haha), dumplings in miso soup, steamed egg with chicken. tasted sooooooo goood. dumplings handmade by themselves somemore loh, not those frozen from supermarket. haha. yummmsss! so that was good. but then later i learnt, this dinner was part of a bigger plan. haha.. the rest of the southzonies came over to surprise me, with a brownie cake that swongy made. thanks swong! surprise success, cos of my rockstar cell leader, who "tripped" over the rubbish bin making quite a racket...which shocked me, which made me rush out.. and saw the whole gang. anyways~ thanks alot guys. and my rockstar cell leader who drove all thy way down from joondalup..haha. much appreciated. then headed to little creatures for some fellowshipping and nice pale ales.... good time out together. then the day didnt end there, well, they came back to my place for bridge and poker.. haha... but i didnt join though. was quite zonked and fell asleep soon after. haha.

but came back and was greeted by a few sms-es from ppl back home~ was quite surprised by a few of those who remembered..really sweet..lovely surprise of cos. lovee and miss you all heaps!

then on the actual day, went for lunch with adrian~ yo brother, thanks for ur company~ aha. enjoyed myself. next time come over my place ah, before i get busy. haha. whip up a meal for u =p

then li-chan and josh came over for dinner and DVDs...and together with dubdub, we watched heaps of k-clips and MVs which lasted till 230am. good fun and laughter~

milerrbieuuuuuuu called too~ which was quite a highlight of the day. haha. honestly, i cant remember when was the last time i've chatted on the phone. haha.. im like really very passive kind. can't be bothered to call no matter how much i miss someone...so yeah. thanks for calling. haha. i enjoyed the chat with u muchos muchos. love!

hmm yeah..all in all..enjoyed myself heaps. Thank God for everything and everyone really.
ermz, photos will be up soon~

Petrina moved in finally! ahha. on my bday somemore ah. loL..anyway welcome to X Ballater Heights! ahah... lets get high on timtams together...then go jog together. loL. *huggs

9th July 2007.

officially started work today. spent the day in library with suli. progress quite slow on my side, but well at least i've got my engine warmed up today.. don't think the library's a very conducive place to study though...quite noisy, but the noise level not as bad during the semester. so i might rethink where i'll mug for the rest of the hols..

so then, just got off the phone with my mum. miss her so much. suddenly wish i can spend my birthday with her. .......sigh, what a year it has been. i am not feeling good at all now. don't know what to look forward to anymore. don't know why i am where i am now, don't know why i'm doing what i'm doing now. i seem to be living and doing things now just to fulfil responsibilities. responsibilities after responsibilities to fulfil. i can't find the passion in my work anymore, nor in life itself. and i am getting really really tired.

anyway, this is not a suicidal note!

edit:

feeling better now. God's gentle reminder of my purpose in life.
aha..after I read Ps Eugene's and Ee Jay's blog.

serve to live, and live to serve. and to cultivate a lifestyle that chooses to bless. :)

Thank God for these wonderful people.. :)

fun with photoshop!

Vaio's current wallpaper! =) daddy, mummy and me~

perth.

okay so im back in perth. not as cold as i thought it would be. which is very good. i hope it stays like that. nothing exciting going on here, as usual. been doing abit of cleaning and vacumming, went over to li-chan's for dinner, she cooked yummy jap curry, then the next day she came over to my place and i cooked her some turkey with celery dish. haha. sounds weird but taste good okayyyyy. cooked with love, tears, sweat and blood. haha. well technically li-chan teared cos she cut the onion...hmm..thats after i cut myself with scissors..and bled profusely. loL. okay not so drama mama....but it did bleed for quite awhile. heh.. then it was HK drama all the way......

tonight it was dinner at hans cafe with li-chan and dubbers. apparently standard there dropped...pad thai not as good as before. but still...okay lar. caught shrek 3 after that. was okayy too...not as good as 1 and 2. but not as disappointing as pirates of the caribbean 3 which was plain lousy.

yet to start any work..i think i'll give myself a mini break this week. will start work next monday. haha. li-chan..ur my inspiration..haha...word count at 100 for ur thesis. woohoo. loL...currently mine stands at ZEEROH. we've gotta buck up~ haha. cannot kancheong though. im sure we'll do well.........aha..

so hmm.....Michael's coming on the 16th. quite excited at that thought. good old pal from secondary school days. wonder how much he's changed. from our msn conversations...seems like he hasnt changed much. haha.. well..will see. oh and it seems he likes photography too. which is good. i've brought my tripod back from singapore..can bring him out abit and shun bian try get some nice scenic shots...haha

and on the 16th..mums going for her 2nd checkup...hope whoever's reading this blog...will help me keep her in prayers too..

okay...hmm, nothing much to update for now. im going back to my HK serials.

p/s: congrats on convocation darling! hardwork of 5years paid off eh.. and dun get any thinner than this. very chio already lar. haha. eat more. =)