Poem from my angel

My angel gave me this lil poem, printed nicely on a cute lil piece of paper. haa.
I've been blessed, so that I could bless others......sharing it with u guys now. =p

I wrote your name on sand, it got washed

I wrote your name in air, it was blown away, then

I wrote your name on my heart and I got heart attack.

God saw me hungry, he created pizza

He saw me thirsty, He created pepsi

He saw me in the dark, He created light

He saw me without problems, He created YOU.

Twinkle twinkle little star

You should know what you are

And once you know what you are

Mental hospital is not so far.

The rain makes all things beautiful, the grass and flowers too

If rain makes all things beautiful. why doesn't it rain on you?

Roses are red, violets are blue

Monkeys like you should be kept in zoo

Don't feel so angry you will find me there too

Not in the cage but laughing at you.

When your life is in the darkness,

pray to God ask Him to free you from darkness

And if after you pray and you are still in darkness,

please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL!

breakthrough

ok, well i dunno if this cld be considered as a breakthrough in mindset, but well I guess, its really by God's grace....I've finally sort out my thoughts.

Friday's combined cell was good, enjoyed the worship, fellowshipping, the food...and most of all feeling God's presence...
During worship, could really feel God speaking right into my heart, and i couldnt help it but jus break into tears...submitting to Him all that was in my heart and mind at that moment...the thoughts that had been plaguing my mind and issues that i jus couldnt find answers to.....

realised that, i guess, its not so much abt how i feel..whether how insensitive ppl are when dealing with problems or how im wrongly pressurized...but rather, God may be dealing with me in the area of submitting to authority...I guess all things happen for a reason, and watever it is, I should do wat is right on my part, to submit and allow God to come in, and that I should have faith that He would set things right eventually. Jesus was wrongly accused yet without even justifying for himself, He submitted to the roman ruler...

suddenly just felt ashamed for realising all these so late...but better late than never. I pray to be a renewed person in the Lord..put the past behind me, and i jus so want to declare again that Jesus Christ, is my Lord and saviour...Father, I love You, and all the people that You have put across my path...thank you Father for everything...

Drifted apart..drift away

tired, wish i could jus breakaway from everything in this world..

human relations are so complex, dun understand at all.

if only my tiredness could stop the hurt from creeping in..

忘记是暂时的，回忆是永远的...

Video Games

Got a lil bored, and was playing these sega games Deb burned for me on a disc...pretty cool. haa..was quite excited when she passed it to me tat day..was playing Sonic the hedgehog...its beens ages since i last had my hands on that game. but the thing is im a lil dumb when playing with keyboard~~ performed much better with a controller.....quite inclined to get one now. haa..but i guess better not. lol...after exams..maybe i'll get one...the disc oso had games like street fighter 2 and errr..contra hard corps! keke..old games, but yea i likeeeeeeee.

Anyway its staggering how much progress video games have made even in my short life...When i was a kid (real young..not tt im old now), Nintendo Entertainment system was it as far as video games went for years b4 super nintendo came out. Now, though..it seems like every two years they've doubled wat they can do and made the last model handheld. excitingggg yea. heh..

getting it off my chest

as i lay on my bed, thinking abt some stuffs....cant help but to pop rite out...and write this.

I NEED TO HAVE MY STAND, to keep myself from gg insane. hearing ppl's views, and what they felt is best for me....all those crap. i cant sway to and fro forever, trying to adjust my thinking to yours, or even force myself to agree with your ways of thinking....i shld noe wats best for me, cos onli i noe wats gg thru my mind. making myself insane from ppl chipping in their views or trying to meddle with my life when they even hardly know me indepth...this in itself....is crazy. no offence to my fellow cell member/pastor in sg, but i have my own stand. forcing me to face a situation at YOUR timing, when im up at my neck with loads of work to do, i cant get my head round to not thinking that u guys are being totally insensitive. at least wait till im back in sg, when it wun affect my sch work, but no...u think it isnt a point to consider at all. nmind....wat pisses me off is gg straight to 'trying to handle MY problem' when YOU dun even noe wats really going on or even try to talk to me about it first..... at least if u wanna handle this issue, show some respect by having a talk with me face to face 1st.......rather than an email and a few sms......gosh. -_-"

im not even saying i'll walk back to wat i use to be, or i wanna avoid this issue forever...but well...nvmind. guess it doesnt matter as much anymore.


ok, i've said my piece...got it off my chest. gdnite

finally, feeling better

*stretches
jus bathed..feeling fresh...actually, felt good on the whole today. peiling had ice-cream craving jus now, den together with jos, we drove to baskin robbins...had a cone each. chatted for awhile on stuffs...catch up a lil...altho the 'session' wasnt long..but it felt good. jos was ever so bubbly n cheery, den with peiling's laughter which i felt was quite infectious....i jus sort of think to myself all these really made a living world. thank God for these frens... *hugs* love ya all. altho i did not talk much, but still enjoyed this short drive out. sort of a lil treat after cooping up at home for so long...

ooh anyway...as im typing now, my dear 'frenly housemates' are slamming the doors again...without fail everynite. unless of cos they're out....but they'll do it once they get back from their outings.... its been like...few months since the ugly episode we had, but din noe they cld persist so well in all these stuffs.......i mean...couldnt they jus get a life..n MOVE ON...
actually i don't get all worked up anymore when they do all these silly stints....but rather from a third person point of view, i jus felt amused at how they cld grip on so tightly to all these...as if they really have nothing much better to do.... jus few days ago, they had the alarm clock sounding after all of them happily left by the front door, and i was stucked at home hearing the 'ringgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg'....anyway jus had to pop over to peiling's place for awhile to refrain myself from getting nitemares associated with alarm clocks ringing.

but well, through this....seemed to have toned down my temper by alot already...in a sense...gotta thank them, or rather, thank God for having use this to teach me how to handle matters in a level headed manner in future. have always been very direct and also not very good at handling situations.....and i hope i've learnt to cope better now.

oh and before ending, chatted with weiying jus now, she told me abt this new internet time thing...i dunno if its exactly new...or im jus a swakoo now....haa..thot it was quite cool maybe u guys wanna check it out. i jus glanced thru...and saw lots of err....stuffs...but in the end, i onli grapsed the part abt 1 day having 1000 beats..... lol.... url's below. check it out if ur bored....haa =p

gg to rest now....tmr's gg to be a brand new day~! keep myself fresh to study for exams. =D

http://www.timeanddate.com/time/internettime.html

today i got back my 4000 word drugs essay...and miraculously got a D for it...thank God.....

did my last presentation today for this semester, handed in all my assignments already...so its time to really start going all out for exams preparation.

time to have a break from all those issues that are plaguing my mind....

FOCUS!

im doin this for YOUR own good...

how many times hav we heard ppl say...im doin tis for ur own good...they're doin tis for ur own good....we're doin this for ur own good...blah blah blah........

and how many times does it really sink into us at that point of time? or rather, at the end of it....will i/we really feel..."yeapz, it was true..they did it for my/our own good....?"

in due time...will i really feel...it was for my own good? or was it jus some ppl trying to meddle with my life, giving their 2 cents worth of thots without really looking into the problem.......n jus leaving me to figure out the rest by myself...

i wonder....

anyway, seem to hav lost myself and my own stand on lots of things, seemed to have lost any sense of discernment....dunno wats wrong or right anymore. hope to find myself back soon.

Say Cheese

okz, as expected.....aunty pei flew my kite, had to drive to fcc myself....but that isnt the bad part.....the thing is i got caught on the speeed camera...darn!! was driving at 100kph at south street......speed limit was 70kph....but aiya....such a big & wide road with no cars infront...dunno how to stay at 70..... -_-" argghz!!! there i was driving on a bright sunny sunday morning, and suddenly....i saw this even brighter flash......darn...to the max. thot it was already a lil rainy in my heart....den still gotta meet with tis kinda thing...little drizzle became huge downpour..

I hope they run out of films.....got flash no negatives. there goes my err....100 or 200 bucks...? blah..........

anyway..as always..God is good. Ps Benny preached today...and the message spoke right into my heart...dun think i wanna go into details....but thot i wanna share this..
written by Thomas Carlisle:

And Jonah stalked to his shaded rest

And Waited for God

to come and to his way of thinking.

God is still waiting for a whole host of Jonah's

in their comfortable homes

to come and to his way of loving.

okz, im gg to start studying soon.

Barry Manilow....anyone?

went to blue duck at cotttlesloe to celebrate Stef's birthday today...sort of a 2nd Japonica+slater court's outing..haa.....anyway been a long time since i last went out and hang ard with frens i guess. quite nice a place..dining with seaview. tho its already dark jus now...guess it wld be really cool during the day/sunset...ate some lamb with cous cous thingy.....food was ok.

was supposed to go Keith's place toge with peiling..jos and gang...but then got back home, suddenly my heart felt heavy again, so in the end...flew their kite *ops...sorry aunty pei. u gotta be there amongst all the couples urself. haa.....and i hope u dun fly my kite tmr horr...gotta go fcc and err...study toge aft tt.

cldnt bring myself to go out la..suddenly jus felt like doin nothing and be sitting at the beach now instead...i guess i shldnt be and i really shld not, but still felt like reminiscing the times we've spent toge.....

okz, suddenly in the mood for barry manilow...

"You know I can't smile without you...

can't smile without you...

I can't laugh and I can't sing..

Im finding it hard to do anything.

You see i feel sad when you're sad

Feel glad when you're glad..

If you only knew wat im going thru..

I just cant smile wihout you..

You came along just like a song and brighten my day

who would have believe that you were part of a dream

now it all seems light years away......"

even if i smiled or laughed now...it still seemed sort of hollow within me..cant seem to feel real joy or laughter anymore.........and i ask myself, when is all these going to end......and i still 'don't appreciate' and i guess never will....for your decision to handle matters in such a way......

neither will i understand why the so called 'mum & sister'....wld be so insensitive to my situation now.....

Who Am I

Who am I?

That the Lord of all the earth,

Would care to know my name,

Would care to feel my hurt,

Who am I?

That the Bright and Morning Star,

Would choose to light the way,

For my ever wandering heart,

Not because of who I am,

But because of what You've done,

Not because of what I've done,

But because of who You are,

I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow,

A wave tossed in the ocean,

A vapor in the wind,

Still You hear me when I'm calling,

Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,

And You've told me who I am..

I am Yours.

Who am I?

That the eyes that see my sin,

Would look on me with love,

and watch me rise again,

Who am I?

That the voice that calmed the sea,

Would call out through the rain,

And calm the storm in me,

Not because of who I am,

But because of what You've done,

Not because of what I've done,

But because of who You are, Lord,

You catch me when I'm falling,

And You've told me who I am...

I am Yours,

I am Yours.

I am Yours,

Whom shall I fear?

Whom shall I fear?

'Cause I am Yours, I am Yours.

2nd last day

oh okiz, think i shld start blogging proper. haa. my mum's in perth for like almost 3 weeks, she's gg back tmr (we nearly thot it was today..thank God i checked..blur mum..haa..anyway i love my mum lots~!! hee..)....and i looked at the weather report....oh crap, its gg to be a stormy weather tmr...duhz. Perth airport....sorta sucks big time..or am i too spoilt jus by being a singaporean? no shelter for dropping off...gotta pay Aud$3 jus for the trolley....blah blah.....wats with the airport tax man....cant they at least hav sheltered carpark or walkways.....hmm..am i the only one complaining abt this......haa -_-"

tried to bring my mum to hyatt's buffet for a few times, but always did not had the time/chance...tis aft noon thot it'll be good, cos i handed in my lab report n stuffs alrady...but i called in ...it was fully booked. oh well..tough luck...next time den. in the end, went sunday everyday for lunch (ooh i met Joshua there...haa)..i ate teriyaki chicken...mum had teriyaki fish...haa..and we shared smoked salmon sushi. yea the serving was huge...n being the typical singaporean tat i was...dun wanna waste oso mah, so dabao left over home. haa...

came back..slacked the whole day....watch holland village vcd with her....den went winthrop did some groceries with aunty pei...realised been a loooong time since i last saw her, altho she lives jus next to me....i shld start stepping outta my room more i guess..haa... anyway came back...watch somemore vcds with mum.....lol...wat a day..super slack. but i guess gotta take a breather let my mind rest for awhile after all those assignments, and err.....those 'nitemare episodes' i had......have....actuallie...having......still having.....

really dun feel like taking back my essay n lab report...cant imagine wat kinda results i wld get...tis is my worst ever semester(even tho its jus my third)........arghz...can jus hope for the best now~ and try my best for the exams..i guess...

i've always had high expectations of myself n my studies since i 1st came to perth...but then...lost focus somewhere..somehow...~ and i really must pull myself toge...back...fast~ Lord pls help me!

anyway after my mum leave for sg tmr, gonna start studying hard already...I MUST! i gotta!

ooh yea...today my fren suggested i shld keep a journal, recording wat i've learnt for the day..wat God spoke to me abt...wat i've prayed abt...and which request was answered by God n sutffs.....guess...i shld try huh....Men tend to be forgetful, and sometimes we jus forget how God had been faithful to us...anyway even when we're faithless...He is always faithful.. during pri/sec sch..i jus hated it when teachers ask us to keep journals/diaries.....but okz...for my sweet sweet Daddy...I'll try...haa....at least I'll start one.....haa..and I pray tat He convicts me to keep it up. =)

realised these days....tat i shld not wait for Him to draw near to us...but rather seek Him more with a willing and eager heart...this is wat I pray for now....

okz dokz....tats all for now...haa...maybe when im bored tonite, i'll write more. gg to conc watching vcd with mama now. =p