Everlasting...Your light will shine when all else fades..

drifted off again. indeed just as pastor Benny said..its so easy to drift off. once u do nothing, you'll be dirfting off even before you realised it. further away from God. hmm..thats the bad news. but good thing is that..at least i've realised it? haa...probably tiredness, probably.. i've been thinking about stuffs that i shouldnt again these past weeks. and its wearing me down mentally. sucking life out of me. just attended empowering conference over the weekend with Chris Hill as the speaker. it was good i must say. and once again, i was reminded to 'not look back'... i agree... but was thinking, how long can we keep running and running and running and never even looking back to take a glimpse of the past? sigh, just that glimpse is enough to stumble me for a long long period...all it takes is just that glimpse for me to fall into a state of confusion once again. So anyway...enough is enough. its always those few issues that always haunt me now and then.. i've had it. ugh! im not going to live a defeated life. God help me rise up above all these issues!! God I need Youuuuuu!!!!

Father, You are my rock, my fortress, my refuge, my comforter, my ever present help in times of need. In You, I will trust! In You, I know that I do not have to fear, for You will not crumble......and as long as I trust in You, neither will I.. !! Father, restore me to fellowship with You again, that I may once again align my heart closer to Yours.

"To you I call, O LORD my Rock; do not turn a deaf ear to me. For if you remain silent, I will be like those who have gone down to the pit. Hear my cry for mercy as I call to you for help, as I lift up my hands toward your Most Holy Place." -Psalm 28: 1-2

thats all for today. time to seek Him now.....

"Never ending..Your glory goes beyond all fame, And the cry of my heart, Is to bring You praise From the inside out, Lord my soul cries out..From the inside out Lord my soul cries out...."

sick again.

i should be in uni having lessons now. but here i am blogging. so anyway, im sick again. yes..for the....*lost count* number of times this semester.

nyeah..feeling puky and giddy, and my head hurts. its the same symptom everytime. i wonder whats happening to my body this semester. the weather probably? i've been quite conscious of my food, so it can't be that..

*sigh* ok, today's supposed to be my longest day in uni, feeling extra guilt for missing so many lessons. but i guess even if i was there physically, nothing would be able to get in my mind. except for jap maybe..? oh no, hope im not missing too much.. my jap oral and aural is on 6th june!

alright, im gonna start work now. ciao.

have a jelly belly!

i just learnt how to create borders. so anyway was playing around with photoshop..and this was the result. somehow the border does not seem to complement the photo leh. any ideas? more practice!!

anyway..i love macro shots~ hiakz

ooh btw, these jelly bellies are yummylicious! hmm..i love the butter popcorn flavour. haha. though i dont like to eat buttered popcorns. haha. i was just amused by the buttery flavour i got from a jellybean. haaha. oh they also have toasted marshmallow, chocolate pudding bubblegum..licorice...and dunno wat else. interesting.

D200

who wants to contribute to the Buy-Nona-A-dSLR fund?

muacks!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIRABEL!!
bong bong bong !!!

love?

few issues on my mind now, most of which i can't do much about. and that sucks. so anyway, the best thing i can do is to stop procrastinating and get my lab report done once and for all. yes..at least that'll be one load off my mind. set my priority right. for the rest of the problems, i'll just have to wait. learning not to rush, learning to be still, and hear from Him.

so anyway, between studying the Bible..psychology, as well as generally observing life, I have come to the conclusion that modern society has completely lost the concept of what love is.

Love is not a feeling. It is not an emotion. Real love is not transitory as it appears to be in modern society. People today are "in love" one minute, and "fall out of love" the next. To think this is even possible...... i think this shows a perverted understanding of what real love is and should be.

Love is, and will always be reflected in our actions. At its heart, it is a decision. A motivation. to give before taking, serve before being served, caring before knowing whether the other cares.

Christ said "By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one for another". How is the world going to see Christ reflected in His followers lives if their love for one another is just an emotion that rises and falls with the tides. Christ also said, "There is no greater love than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." This is probably a bit of an extreme example from what we experience in our day to day lives. But the point cannot be missed. Love is an action. It is sacrificial, and at its core, it's a decision of the heart. It is part of who we are, and any real love is neither transitory, nor dependent of the actions of those we love.
Does God cease to love us when we disappoint Him? Does a mother cease to love a child when they disappoint her? And probably we should ask ourselves, do we want those whose love and care we cherish to cease loving us when we disappoint them?

This is not to say that it is invalid for someone to change their mind about their romantic commitment, or level of affection for another. But we have to stop using a watered down definition of love. The pledge to "love one another till death do us part" has no meaning if our love is just an emotion and not a commitment. The decision to commit to love someone is not a decision to feel loving every minute of every day. It is a commitment to care for, support, protect, and provide for all the other needs of the person that has agreed to do the same for us. Whether they manage to do so or not on any given day is not a release from our commitment. It is simply a chance to provide our love in a more Christ-like manner, without returns, without reward or recognition.

to me, love isn't just about feeling good and all the like..

love lets go, but never leaves...

Lord, may You be the one to stir up my passion and compassion, help me to truly care and love once again. let not circumstances numb me. Teach me how to love. Let my every step be aligned to Yours, so that i can truly say, i live, do and serve all for love.

"In my life
You've heard me say
I love You
How do I show You it's true
hear my heart, it longs for more of You..

I've fallen deeply in love with You..
You have stolen my heart
I'm captivated by You
Never will you and I part
I've fallen deeply in love with You.."

-Deeply in love, Hillsong United.

Happy mummy's day!

love of my life.


my godma and me, during my baptism.

thank God alot for her, for it's her who first led me to God. and through my godma i learnt alot about faith and perseverance.

and to my spiritual mum back in sg, happy mummy's day~ *hugz* thank God for you, for ur encouragements, for keeping me in prayers, for never giving up on me. =)


my spiritual mum, lindee.


mira-bongbel. bongbongbong. haa =p

although not 'officially' my spiritual mum, but u're one i've always look up to, mighty woman of God. =p u've been there during one of my darkest momemnts spurring me on, never failed to point me to God when i got lost. your passion for God and His people has encouraged me a great deal. hugz.

last but not least, ps yueh ping. my network pastor, ever so loving and caring. beautiful woman of God! truly truly the best spiritual (grand) mummy one could have. hee.

wow...look at all the wonderful people God put into my life.
what more can i say?.. God is good! i truly am blessed! =)

Thank You Lord.

i love assignments. i love stats. i love writing lab reports.

ahhh! im so gonna kill myself~~ accidentally closed the SPSS browser, and i've yet to save the data. grrrr. now i have to go through the whole bloody process of generating the data FROM SCRATCH for it to confirm my hypothesis. great. just what i needed.

it probably isnt that big a deal, just time consuming. and i was very pleased with the sample i generated just now. ugh. careless careless, what was i doing!? probably a sign that i should just go sleep now. lol.

hmm, actually........im quite enjoying the fact that i've been doing work this whole day. haha. nerd power! glory to the geeks! yeeeeeeeeeharrrr!

alrighty, back to work.

bleugh.

'When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity.' - Albert Einstein.In my life right now I would liken the hot stove to being a prisoner in my room, sold as a slave to assignments, and the pretty girl, well to a pretty boy of course (takeshi kaneshiro! takeshi kaneshiro!!!). sorry i cldnt help it. haa.

nothing seems to ease the excruciating minute-counting, assignments-loaded, tests and exams round the corner period. i need an outlet, but i don't know what i can do to make me feel better now. i did a 7km run today, blasted my music, stoned. cooked. eat. breathe. shit. bathe. nothing seems to work. bleugh. so i should think positive. eto, time passing slowly means more time until the exams? heh. Well I must get back to my minute-counting-slavery-to-assignments-fun.

ps.if you are reading this on a study/assignment/work break it's obviously time to get back to work because an hour will have passed and you will have done nothing. =p

I WANNA GO OUT AND PLAY!!!!!!!!!

finally, im going to sleep now. before that..i need to fill up my word quota for the day. havent been talking much today, not even on msn. oh and i missed dinner at bobo's today..i wanna drink soupppppp. minestroneeeeeeee. today i've been eating alot of junk food, canned food, bread and blah..all those not very nutritious but highly fattening stuffs. lazy to cook today.

anyway, got quite abit of work done, but not exactly as much as i've planned to. not good. stats assignment due this friday, but there's gonna be equipping conference tomorrow and friday, jackie pullinger's gonna be the speaker. she'll be touching on 'Ministering with the poor' and 'Ministering with the Spirit'. though pressed for time and frankly very tired, but im still looking forward to that conference. will be a time of refreshing as i come before Him in worship. so anyway, leaving me not much time to do my work. im stucked on a few questions..but completed the bulk of it. so anyways...will leave those till tomorrow morning when i have a clearer mind. long day in Uni tomorrow. ahhh. chotomate. stop. nope. i shall not whine. i shall not be a whinger. im more than a conqueror thru Him! yesh! busy, busy...busy is goooooooooood..

*takes deep breath*

so after this stats assigment, i've a jap test next week, and another major assignment due. i'll think about the rest after completing this 2....so anyway.......life is still good for now. i've not gone crazy. yet. haa.

alright. gotta go. system auto shutdown.

lessons learnt.

This semester has taught me some valuable lessons. Wonder what else I'll learn before it's over...

Make sure that you hold on to your friends and especially your close friends. It's harder to resurrect a friendship than it is just to maintain it.

Vulnerability is necessary in order for a relationship to really deepen. Make no mistake that this vulnerability will at times be exploited.

Forgiveness is hard, but inevitable if you're gonna get over something.

No one can always be an angel. When things go wrong we see some bad.

Looking at love in a different light. Love is not meant to make people always feel good. Love is meant to help them grow.

Sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Living for the future to breakaway from what's in the past.

You can be happy only when you allow yourself to be. No one's responsible for your happiness.

Investing in people's life, seeing them grow and thirst for Christ brings greatest satisfaction and joy. (check out Ee Jay's latest post to learn more on this =) )

Eat more ice-creams. It's therapeutic. (that is if you stay away from the weighing scale >_<)

There is always a reason to smile.

+God Bless

random. thought of the day.

What if we all had a word quota? What if you only had, say 500 words allotted to you to speak on a given day? What would you talk about? What would you no longer talk about? Would you stop to think before you talk?

winter prelude.

numnum. =D

my dinner today. lol. suddenly just felt like taking a photo of it (and since so many of you ask what i normally have over in perth...well there u are). thought its kinda weird, lol..but tasted nice though. hahahah i was lazy to fry the vege, so i just boiled it and piled some kimchi on top for taste. hiakz. hmm..then its rice and pork. check out the fats man. actually not very oily..they hav skinny pigs here in perth. hahahaa.

cook my meals here mostly, cos its pricey to eat out. ehh..around AUD$8 for a plate of fried rice/noodles..though its a very big portion. anyway have to save up la. so like probably..only dine out with my frenz once a week. or after church on sundays. when im lazy to cook or get too tied up with assignments, i probably eat sandwich the whole day. haaha. nice and easy.

i love cooking though. a form of destressing for me. anyway, how glum can u be when u're facing FOOOOD! heheh.. =p

Passion for life

fueled by purpose in Christ.

Lord, help me continue in Your 'way everlasting'.