Sunday, May 31, 2009

Sundown 2009 - Impossible is nothing !

yet another milestone in the life of AIZAI the fit kia.. haha. i jus completed my first ever marathon! 3 cheers! Sundown 2009 ~ yeah, impossible is nothing ! woohoo~ but okay...aizai is not fit at all...heck, these days u can call me lembek and i wldnt be able to find anything to retort~ did not even train. gained like 5kg after my yunnan trip~ no im not proud of the fact that i completed a marathon without training. didnt practice what i preach this time..haha. jialat. my leg spoil liow. anyhoos, when i reached the end point, the time showed 7hr33min. haha..

4 bridges werent too bad.. i loved the part where gravity pulled me down, and i went a little bit faster. haha. but i absolutely hated the countless mini up slopes..and the sandy pitches.. sorry cant remember where those places were..basically gong already. just walking and running like a robot. following thru the motions. air seemed thinner at night.. i ran continuosly for first 5km (i think this is a feat in itself! damn i really havent been running)...and then walked n run the whole way liow. did not stop at all, didnt dare to. thankfully no cramps!!! ahaha..my best burst of energy came at abt 12km+.. dunno why suddenly feel energetic.. then hit 28km..and i feel cui liow... pure muscle fatigue- was jus inching my way to the finishing point. every kilometre seemed so far away ! pretty er xin experience la..hahah. but i nv thought of giving up even once! good thing. haha. thanks brudder for insisting i go~ actually din wanna risk injuring myself before the course liow..haha. and i was made to fly another cliques kite for dinner n chillout session. LOL~ very the paiseh..but didnt regret it ! I havent slept since yesterday morning. haa..~ do i even sound coherent now...shucks, i need to reach novena by 745am tmr for my course..............zzzzzzzzz, hopefully i can walk. as usual~ some pictures to end the day~ :)


JD and me (:

Supporter Wen ~

my faithful companion~ u hav served me well! woohoo ~
i've no blisters~! beautiful!

last but not least, my bestest brudder! who was with me ALL the way, whole 42km !:D
look at his bitter gourd face before the run~ sillyboy drank mac's milk shake and wasnt feeling too well earlier part of the race. burp burp burp :s my personal pongpong team, yokoyoko provider, took H20 for me while i painfully inch fwd first. haha..heh, thanks for being there the whole 42km~ first ever marathon~! wonder if it'll be my last... running's def not my cup of tea man...maarathoning is jus crazy. but got ppl jio standard chart liow..and i quite gian to get that finisher tee...haha. we'll see...... AT THE MOMENT, marathon's gonna be those 'been there, done that..great its off my checklist' kinda thing... haa.. wait till i forget the pain :p im pretty forgetful! goodnight people.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

awareness- its a good thing.

Current read
Asian Geographic: Taboo Edition

Strongly recommended by Aizai...especially the article on "Jaws of Death" !! Few years back, I saw a documentary on indiscriminate killing of sharks for their fins, and have never touched a bowl of sharksfin since then.. and i resolved never to have that dish in my wedding banquet. only one other friend of mine shares exact sentiments as me on this issue... pretty sad. think abt the brutal process and harm done to the eco-system before ordering that coveted bowl of delicacy.. sharks cruelly tossed back into the ocean after having their fins cut off, sea turtles..dolphins and tons of other marine life killed as a result of line fishing~ :(

sheeesh...just go read abt it. after all the harm that human has done to his environment, we should at least do our part to clear up the mess we've created... protect and conserve !

btw, today's the first time i ate the soft twirl soy ice-cream from Mr Bean. i love it !! yummy so veryy~~ see...so much good food around.. to give up eating sharksfin aint that difficult right~ come on friends ! convict yourself now!!

*psst, its a good thing to be aware.. but dont just be aware and do nothing. being unaware, and being aware yet not bothering to do anything...i wonder which reaps worser karma. haha
"You can never give another person that which you have found, but you can make him homesick for what you have" -Oswald Chambers

Sunday, May 24, 2009

collected my 陪葬品 today :(
i have not trained AT ALL~ ima die. who wanna buy 4D? normally when sthg bad happens.. ppl like to buy 4D right... bet on this. when i registered i was an M size, today i had to change the singlet to an L !! boohooo...so sad.. pang seh queen gotta change the deal- if i complete this without seeing u at A&E and a followup at R dept, u owe me a minimum $60 dinner treat, if i do a sub 6 its gonna be 2 dinners man !!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

As an only child, I spent most of my childhood wishing for a sibling. Even at a very young age, I decided that if I had kids, it has to be more than one as I felt lonely [not bored] whilst growing up. I had lots of friends, but most had siblings, and I always felt they had a special bond and loyalty that most childhood friendships do not have. more imptly, I felt a sibling would be having someone who understood what it was like being in the family.. and for someone who grew up in a pretty unconventional family.. that meant a great deal.

On hindsight though, the best part of being an only child was developing the ability to enjoy being alone and to entertain myself. I may look sociable and bubbly and all, yet people are surprised by how much of a loner I can be. I dun think im introverted...im not exactly extraverted either. its just over the years, i've developed self-sufficiency.

I consider myself to be very independent. I enjoy doing things on my own and I'm comfortable being alone. Today was one of those days.. where i just enjoyed alot of metime, doing things that i love at my own pace. a day to recharge i guess. i feel disturbed when my phone rings on these days- i'll normally ignore it. haha.. but im pretty selective, there are those calls where i'll definitely pick up, be it rain or shine :p (but hey, dont start guessing im ignoring you on purpose when i missed your call !! heh..)

okay anyway...so one day of 'hermitting', tmr i'll be out of my shell and will be picking up your calls pronto. okay? aha... tmr is blading night ! thurs is golf night ! btw, im halfway thru the book Angels and Demons (will probably finish it by tmr...or tonite)...anyone wanna make it movie night on fri !? :p

Monday, May 11, 2009

Ever with the best !

so its been 10years since i graduated from CSS, and people are still intermittently calling me up just to get The Intended's number. *yawns..... give up already.


and hey...wow~10years. lets meetup to celebrate. a decade of friendship. even though its still gonna be the same old 2e vs 2a debate... heh... well..


see this !?
we are the champions !
'nuff said~ :p

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Introducing- The Intended.

I realise at times when i prefer not to disclose the name of whoever im referring to in my entries, i deliberate alot on how to preserve absolute anonymity of that particular person. somehow i dun find it fitting to refer to that person as he, she, they, it or even thing. so i've devised a method of solving this problem once and for all. from hence forth, i'll refer to the anonymous subject, as The Intended. The Intended, can be anyone or anything. The Intended can even be a group of people, an inanimate object or even a scenario. The Intended is an independent entity, and I may or may not be referring to the same person/thing/subject within different entries. The Intended can also be just an analogy...an enigma. hahah.. stretching things a lil too far. heh.. have i lost u? so anyway, The Intended is just my way of referring to the anonymous in this blog.

alritey, done with the messy introduction. im super tired today !! so before i log off... 2 'flattering' photos of me, done up by The Intended. HAHaha... get the idea ? :p

AIZAI is hot
makeup for the HOT AIZAI !?
chillax man....no nightmares, no nightmares. sweetdreams all (:

INFJ

try this

OKAY, so sorry for the lack of quality updates ! haha. but this is really interesting. and i apologise for just copying and pasting one whole chunkablock here..ahaha. try it yourself and read it if ur interested...i think its very de zhun ! much better than those pseudo personality tests on FB...zz. this is based on myer-briggs type indicator. actually did this few years back, but cant recall wat i got. would have changed slightly i guess. heh.. In a sense...for people who do this and post it on their blog (i.e., yours truly), probably jus a manifestation of the innate desire for people to understand me better? hahaha~ although i do at times say..."aiyah i dun care a damn....." but if u're hearing intently (i.e., with heart. :p) enough, it'll sound like this => "IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE WHO TRULY UNDERSTANDS!??!?! hello hello~!?" hahaha. 伯乐 where are u !? :p anyhoos...one cant deny that its a nice feeling being understood by people whom u care abt right...heh~ lalaaala

Brace yrself...So here goes, I'm an...

Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging

Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. Those who are activists -- INFJs gravitate toward such a role -- are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power. INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of 'poetic justice' is appealing to the INFJ. INFJs are not easily led. These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.
INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately. Writing, counseling, public service and even politics are areas where INFJs frequently find their niche.

INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers.
This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.

INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers."

As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type. Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function). This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings. Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices.

All Idealists (NFs) share the following core characteristics:

Idealists are enthusiastic, they trust their intuition, yearn for romance, seek their true self, prize meaningful relationships, and dream of attaining wisdom.

Idealists pride themselves on being loving, kindhearted, and authentic.

Idealists tend to be giving, trusting, spiritual, and they are focused on personal journeys and human potentials.

Idealists make intense mates, nurturing parents, and inspirational leaders.

Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey.

Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.

Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people.

Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere.

More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.

Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.

Idealists are relatively rare, making up no more than 15 to 20 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.

Counselors have an exceptionally strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others, and find great personal fulfillment interacting with people, nurturing their personal development, guiding them to realize their human potential. Although they are happy working at jobs (such as writing) that require solitude and close attention, Counselors do quite well with individuals or groups of people, provided that the personal interactions are not superficial, and that they find some quiet, private time every now and then to recharge their batteries. Counselors are both kind and positive in their handling of others; they are great listeners and seem naturally interested in helping people with their personal problems. Not usually visible leaders, Counselors prefer to work intensely with those close to them, especially on a one-to-one basis, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes. Counselors are scarce, little more than one percent of the population, and can be hard to get to know, since they tend not to share their innermost thoughts or their powerful emotional reactions except with their loved ones. They are highly private people, with an unusually rich, complicated inner life. Friends or colleagues who have known them for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that Counselors are flighty or scattered; they value their integrity a great deal, but they have mysterious, intricately woven personalities which sometimes puzzle even them. Counselors tend to work effectively in organizations. They value staff harmony and make every effort to help an organization run smoothly and pleasantly. They understand and use human systems creatively, and are good at consulting and cooperating with others. As employees or employers, Counselors are concerned with people's feelings and are able to act as a barometer of the feelings within the organization. Blessed with vivid imaginations, Counselors are often seen as the most poetical of all the types, and in fact they use a lot of poetic imagery in their everyday language. Their great talent for language-both written and spoken-is usually directed toward communicating with people in a personalized way. Counselors are highly intuitive and can recognize another's emotions or intentions - good or evil - even before that person is aware of them. Counselors themselves can seldom tell how they came to read others' feelings so keenly. This extreme sensitivity to others could very well be the basis of the Counselor's remarkable ability to experience a whole array of psychic phenomena.

Functional Analysis:
Introverted iNtuition
Introverted intuitives, INFJs enjoy a greater clarity of perception of inner, unconscious processes than all but their INTJ cousins. Just as SP types commune with the object and "live in the here and now" of the physical world, INFJs readily grasp the hidden psychological stimuli behind the more observable dynamics of behavior and affect. Their amazing ability to deduce the inner workings of the mind, will and emotions of others gives INFJs their reputation as prophets and seers. Unlike the confining, routinizing nature of introverted sensing, introverted intuition frees this type to act insightfully and spontaneously as unique solutions arise on an event by event basis.

Extraverted Feeling
Extraverted feeling, the auxiliary deciding function, expresses a range of emotion and opinions of, for and about people. INFJs, like many other FJ types, find themselves caught between the desire to express their wealth of feelings and moral conclusions about the actions and attitudes of others, and the awareness of the consequences of unbridled candor. Some vent the attending emotions in private, to trusted allies. Such confidants are chosen with care, for INFJs are well aware of the treachery that can reside in the hearts of mortals. This particular combination of introverted intuition and extraverted feeling provides INFJs with the raw material from which perceptive counselors are shaped.

Introverted Thinking
The INFJ's thinking is introverted, turned toward the subject. Perhaps it is when the INFJ's thinking function is operative that he is most aloof. A comrade might surmise that such detachment signals a disillusionment, that she has also been found lacking by the sardonic eye of this one who plumbs the depths of the human spirit. Experience suggests that such distancing is merely an indication that the seer is hard at work and focusing energy into this less efficient tertiary function.

Extraverted Sensing
INFJs are twice blessed with clarity of vision, both internal and external. Just as they possess inner vision which is drawn to the forms of the unconscious, they also have external sensing perception which readily takes hold of worldly objects. Sensing, however, is the weakest of the INFJ's arsenal and the most vulnerable. INFJs, like their fellow intuitives, may be so absorbed in intuitive perceiving that they become oblivious to physical reality. The INFJ under stress may fall prey to various forms of immediate gratification. Awareness of extraverted sensing is probably the source of the "SP wannabe" side of INFJs. Many yearn to live spontaneously; it's not uncommon for INFJ actors to take on an SP (often ESTP) role.

random reminder:
before it slips my mind.. i wanna learn and experiment layer masks and ehmz..gaussian blur thingamajig~

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

the time is NOW- forward ho !

what a tiring week~ cant even recall what i've been doing. haha. i have like 7 unpublished entries. there were a few things on my mind, and i wanted to write.. but all written halfway..or just a lil disorganised. heh so they're staying as drafts for the moment. not quite right to publish those 'thoughts' when they arent thoroughly sorted out yeah..

so uhmz, i collected my study materials today. too beat to feel any excitement now...heh.. i have been doing some other readings and research on my own before this, but yeaps~ its now finally time to switch to full gear !!

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Happy Birthday Mr. Chen !
haha.. very tempted to post a photo of you from kampong takglam folder~ lOL.. but hmm.... lets not 'spoil' your day heh~ :p

Hope you enjoyed yourself today !! golf, blading and catchup sessions soon ! :)

Saturday, May 02, 2009

"Without the solitude of heart, our relationships with others easily become needy and greedy, sticky and clinging, dependent and sentimental, exploitative and parasitic, because without the solitude of heart we cannot experience the others as different from ourselves but only as people who can be used for the fulfilment of our own hidden, needs. "