then came more. hahaha. a sure sign when bobo's stressed. がんばて boboさん! =p
Friday, April 28, 2006
Thursday, April 27, 2006
tkd
i found my favourite taekwondo video clip on youtube! lol. link's HERE!
use to have the file in my old laptop, but the hard disk crashed. so there goes. haa.
oh boy i hate to go again..but yeah, i miss those training days! though pretty much an individual sport, but there was an espirit de corps amongst all who trained together, which i really really love. the joy of training together, spurring each other on to push thru our physical limits, enduring the pain together and all. the thrill of being in the competition arena or even just cheering for friends...arr, those were the days.
don't think i can ever go back to serious training, maybe i could if i forced myself, but my leg injury yet to recover. after like 6years...it still hurts. i dont think there's anymore hope to that. leisure jog still can manage, but it'll hurt if i sprint. -shakeshead- and basically doctor advised me not to do anymore vigorous sport cos im quite prone to getting slip disc already. rarh. my passion...~ aiyah..can feel my heart sinking again...but no no no, gonna get a grip on myself. haha. more fun and meaningful stuffs to do out there. im gonna look on the bright side!
oh oh oh! guess what! today, i received an email notification stating that i've been ACCEPTED for the International Student Volunteer Program!! ellie got accepted too! yippeee yay! Costa Rica here we come!!!!!!!!!!
use to have the file in my old laptop, but the hard disk crashed. so there goes. haa.
oh boy i hate to go again..but yeah, i miss those training days! though pretty much an individual sport, but there was an espirit de corps amongst all who trained together, which i really really love. the joy of training together, spurring each other on to push thru our physical limits, enduring the pain together and all. the thrill of being in the competition arena or even just cheering for friends...arr, those were the days.
don't think i can ever go back to serious training, maybe i could if i forced myself, but my leg injury yet to recover. after like 6years...it still hurts. i dont think there's anymore hope to that. leisure jog still can manage, but it'll hurt if i sprint. -shakeshead- and basically doctor advised me not to do anymore vigorous sport cos im quite prone to getting slip disc already. rarh. my passion...~ aiyah..can feel my heart sinking again...but no no no, gonna get a grip on myself. haha. more fun and meaningful stuffs to do out there. im gonna look on the bright side!
oh oh oh! guess what! today, i received an email notification stating that i've been ACCEPTED for the International Student Volunteer Program!! ellie got accepted too! yippeee yay! Costa Rica here we come!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
thinking on purpose.
so a friend said to me "...u think too much...".
well actually i don't think i think too much...if you'd ask me, i feel fact of the matter is that most of the time its not about excessive thinking. we work our brains too little in fact. haa. its more on the choices we make about what we're thinking, ie. choosing our thoughts. cos where the mind goes, the heart follows. and i guess we should really learn to 'think on purpose'. our thoughts can either make or break us, either depress ourselves with our thoughts or make ourselves happy. many a times, its just a thin line between being happy or sad, most of the problem we have somehow goes back to our thinking. i've heard and met so many who suffers (or claim to) from depression, be it chronic, periodic or even temporal...arent those times we were upset becos we opted to think negatively? for example one might choose to think "haiz, no one loves me, no one cares for me..im so alone..." and this negative thought leads to a series of other negative thoughts..and hence creating a downward spiral of emotions.....leading to 'depression' (a word so often loosely used). we can also choose to think in terms of "people around me are probably abit busy and the way they express love is just different from what our expectations of love is" so on and so forth.
well just a very random example, but the idea is we can choose to reject negative thoughts. to cast down all these 'wrong thoughts'. many a times people just get so disillusioned with what they think (which are mostly assumptions, or a part of whole), that they eventually believe what they think is real...and hence becoming a fact in their life. then this whole negative thing becomes a vicious cycle which eventually consumes our entire being. wears us down and stuffs. we become less happy and less productive. in short i guess..being negative just sucks life off everything. therefore it isnt really true that we're thinking too much right, haa..in fact we should agressively fill our mind and think positive thoughts, good thoughts..
of course its easy to say, but when crunch time comes..it really isnt easy at all. but havent we all realised that all these negative thoughts creeps in kinda when we have too much spare time on hand. an idle mind is the devil's workshop. so, make a choice to not only cast down wrong thoughts, but fill it in with the right thing so that there's no space for the wrong to get back in. and the only right thing to fill our mind with is to always renew our mind with the Word of God every single day (Roman 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will)...loving the Word and to do our part in guarding our own heart and mind. stand your ground, be proactive, so that the devil has no chance to fill our mind. where the mind goes, the man follows..where the mind goes the man follows. so choose to think on purpose, don't just sit and wait for things to fall in your head. makes sense? anyway talking about depression, loneliness and stuffs....amidst all the therapy and counselling that is available, the fastest and most effective way i feel is to actually get off your butt and start doing something! best thing to do is go out and be a blessing to someone else. stop looking inwardly into ourselves and our circumstance/problems..or stop looking at our problem through a magnifying glass.. go out and do something good, purposeful..u might just come back and feel 'hey that problem is not as big as i thought it was', or probably you would have adopted a new mindset to look at that problem or even to solve it.
*imagines everytime a person is upset, he/she goes out to bless someone..with an action/gift/act of kindness or anything...isnt this gonna be a more beautiful world. ahaha. everyone wld be so much happier.. then uh-ohh..its gonna be hard for me to find a job as psychologist in future. lol.
yesterday i was having a chat with my friend, and she popped the question about finding meaning and purpose in life.. i mean we might be living a not-so-boring life or even a very adventurous life..but end of the day, there's still something lacking.... personal experience tells me that the most rewarding and purposeful thing one could actually do is by adding value and investing into people's life. yeah..isnt this what life is about? God is all about love and relationship. being passionate about people.
i've always believed that living a life without passion is as good as not living at all. i've had many passions in life, netball and taekwondo were one of those few...netball ended soon after my secondary school days. then there was the passion for taekwondo, which practically consumed me. that would be the first thing on my mind after i wake up and last thing on my mind before i sleep. i would be thinking and fantasizing what kinda kicks i would perform to score against my opponent, what moves to enable a Knock Out, do my stretchings even while watching TV, or think about my trainings and what i can do to improve and more. i held on to this passion for about 10years, since primary six, then i injured myself badly and doctor advised me not to go ahead with this sport anymore..my world came crashing down ....
...finding a passion in life, but i realise passion alone is not enough..it has to be fueled with purpose..if not it'll just fade off in awhile, or have to come to a halt becos of unforeseen circumstances.
so have you thought about it?
what's gonna be your life long passion and purpose in life? =)
well actually i don't think i think too much...if you'd ask me, i feel fact of the matter is that most of the time its not about excessive thinking. we work our brains too little in fact. haa. its more on the choices we make about what we're thinking, ie. choosing our thoughts. cos where the mind goes, the heart follows. and i guess we should really learn to 'think on purpose'. our thoughts can either make or break us, either depress ourselves with our thoughts or make ourselves happy. many a times, its just a thin line between being happy or sad, most of the problem we have somehow goes back to our thinking. i've heard and met so many who suffers (or claim to) from depression, be it chronic, periodic or even temporal...arent those times we were upset becos we opted to think negatively? for example one might choose to think "haiz, no one loves me, no one cares for me..im so alone..." and this negative thought leads to a series of other negative thoughts..and hence creating a downward spiral of emotions.....leading to 'depression' (a word so often loosely used). we can also choose to think in terms of "people around me are probably abit busy and the way they express love is just different from what our expectations of love is" so on and so forth.
well just a very random example, but the idea is we can choose to reject negative thoughts. to cast down all these 'wrong thoughts'. many a times people just get so disillusioned with what they think (which are mostly assumptions, or a part of whole), that they eventually believe what they think is real...and hence becoming a fact in their life. then this whole negative thing becomes a vicious cycle which eventually consumes our entire being. wears us down and stuffs. we become less happy and less productive. in short i guess..being negative just sucks life off everything. therefore it isnt really true that we're thinking too much right, haa..in fact we should agressively fill our mind and think positive thoughts, good thoughts..
of course its easy to say, but when crunch time comes..it really isnt easy at all. but havent we all realised that all these negative thoughts creeps in kinda when we have too much spare time on hand. an idle mind is the devil's workshop. so, make a choice to not only cast down wrong thoughts, but fill it in with the right thing so that there's no space for the wrong to get back in. and the only right thing to fill our mind with is to always renew our mind with the Word of God every single day (Roman 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will)...loving the Word and to do our part in guarding our own heart and mind. stand your ground, be proactive, so that the devil has no chance to fill our mind. where the mind goes, the man follows..where the mind goes the man follows. so choose to think on purpose, don't just sit and wait for things to fall in your head. makes sense? anyway talking about depression, loneliness and stuffs....amidst all the therapy and counselling that is available, the fastest and most effective way i feel is to actually get off your butt and start doing something! best thing to do is go out and be a blessing to someone else. stop looking inwardly into ourselves and our circumstance/problems..or stop looking at our problem through a magnifying glass.. go out and do something good, purposeful..u might just come back and feel 'hey that problem is not as big as i thought it was', or probably you would have adopted a new mindset to look at that problem or even to solve it.
*imagines everytime a person is upset, he/she goes out to bless someone..with an action/gift/act of kindness or anything...isnt this gonna be a more beautiful world. ahaha. everyone wld be so much happier.. then uh-ohh..its gonna be hard for me to find a job as psychologist in future. lol.
yesterday i was having a chat with my friend, and she popped the question about finding meaning and purpose in life.. i mean we might be living a not-so-boring life or even a very adventurous life..but end of the day, there's still something lacking.... personal experience tells me that the most rewarding and purposeful thing one could actually do is by adding value and investing into people's life. yeah..isnt this what life is about? God is all about love and relationship. being passionate about people.
i've always believed that living a life without passion is as good as not living at all. i've had many passions in life, netball and taekwondo were one of those few...netball ended soon after my secondary school days. then there was the passion for taekwondo, which practically consumed me. that would be the first thing on my mind after i wake up and last thing on my mind before i sleep. i would be thinking and fantasizing what kinda kicks i would perform to score against my opponent, what moves to enable a Knock Out, do my stretchings even while watching TV, or think about my trainings and what i can do to improve and more. i held on to this passion for about 10years, since primary six, then i injured myself badly and doctor advised me not to go ahead with this sport anymore..my world came crashing down ....
...finding a passion in life, but i realise passion alone is not enough..it has to be fueled with purpose..if not it'll just fade off in awhile, or have to come to a halt becos of unforeseen circumstances.
so have you thought about it?
what's gonna be your life long passion and purpose in life? =)
Monday, April 17, 2006
day uno.
first day of the week break, not very productive. haha. very bad right..still can laugh. so anyway it didnt really go as i've planned. mainly becos had a late start for today. last night suddenly got a call from marian to go for supper. wasnt that keen on the idea last night, but i changed and went anyway.all the way to Vic park(to marinate my jacket in the 'chilli musells + pizza +kebab' smell. i didnt eat tho, haha, just went for a chat with them, then see ben and clarence enjoy their yummilicious kebab supper). well, that wasnt the highlight of the night, haha. after that we proceeded back to uni. ben performed drifting and those handbrake turns and stuffs. lol. way coool man. that was a first for me, being in the passenger seat. haha. for a moment i felt like i was filming Initial D - smaller scale version (and the music that was on wasn't piao yi). haha. and except that we were at the gravel pit behind murdoch oval. wo de tian ah..ben drove the car like it was a jeep. swerved left swerved right, reversed and some brunches and leaves ruffled against the boot. if its my car, my heart wld have ached big time. lol. i kinda regret buying a first hand corolla hatchback (but still thankful tat its fuel efficient and its 1.8L, and i love hatchbacks =p). haa. if i cld choose again, might have gotten some cheap 2nd hand car and play around with it. clarence suggested sharing a $200-$300 car and whack it before he goes back sg. lol..hmm, sounds interesting. i wanna learn drifting. haha. looks easy enough. i think. on a sidenote, i kinda forgot when/why it was that i started hanging out with marian, melissa, clarence and ben. individually i can recall, but suddenly going out toge..hmm. strange. lol. but they rox sox baby~ really funny and cool individuals, when u put them together, they're a blast.
so anyway once again i've actually planned to wake up at 6am for a jog to start my day, but due to the really late night out..i cldnt wake at 6am of cos, haha, that'll be like only 2hrs of sleep. and its insane to deprive myself of sleep first day of the break. haha.
hmm, total work done today...equals to almost zilch. i feel like a person exerting energy on a wall (except that i din use full force), distance moved = 0, therefore work done = 0. some physics theory i vaguely recall from my secondary sch days (did i get tat wrong? anyway i hated physics la.). haaa. so anyway..i've been trying to do research for my PSY311 lab report. trying to get ideas and decide on a topic. im kinda like hoping this topic would be one that i'll be doing for my thesis next year (if i get into honours). im looking more into topics like personality dimenstions such as extroversion/introversion and its relationship with sustained attention (maybe some work are more suited for introverts and stuffs), or probably life satisfaction scale..or probably effects of positive and negative reinforcements with regards to personality dimensions..or probably whether negative/positive stimuli draws attention away/from introverts and extroverts.........so as u can see its all one big blur, very general ideas. glancing thru all those journal articles, i still have no idea as to what i really wanna do. too fickle minded i think. and i dont have access to some journals that caught my attention. need to pray for clarity of mind and wisdom from God to choose the topic~
thats abt all the work done today...one big blob of general and extremely vague ideas. not looking good, i think for tomorrow's first half of the day, i'll start practicing my stats then start on my stats assignment. haa. need to see some substantial work done to let myself feel better...before i brainstorm for my lab report again. ok. so thats the plan. i shall do it. yes i shall! oh and.. i shall attempt to start my day at 6am again for a nice jog. haha. this time....it shall be a successful attempt!
oh its starting to get really cold. *waves byebye to summer* sobs. oooh no..i hate the cold. anyway...i'll complain more about the weather when i start to wrap myself up like a dumpling.
+God bless.
so anyway once again i've actually planned to wake up at 6am for a jog to start my day, but due to the really late night out..i cldnt wake at 6am of cos, haha, that'll be like only 2hrs of sleep. and its insane to deprive myself of sleep first day of the break. haha.
hmm, total work done today...equals to almost zilch. i feel like a person exerting energy on a wall (except that i din use full force), distance moved = 0, therefore work done = 0. some physics theory i vaguely recall from my secondary sch days (did i get tat wrong? anyway i hated physics la.). haaa. so anyway..i've been trying to do research for my PSY311 lab report. trying to get ideas and decide on a topic. im kinda like hoping this topic would be one that i'll be doing for my thesis next year (if i get into honours). im looking more into topics like personality dimenstions such as extroversion/introversion and its relationship with sustained attention (maybe some work are more suited for introverts and stuffs), or probably life satisfaction scale..or probably effects of positive and negative reinforcements with regards to personality dimensions..or probably whether negative/positive stimuli draws attention away/from introverts and extroverts.........so as u can see its all one big blur, very general ideas. glancing thru all those journal articles, i still have no idea as to what i really wanna do. too fickle minded i think. and i dont have access to some journals that caught my attention. need to pray for clarity of mind and wisdom from God to choose the topic~
thats abt all the work done today...one big blob of general and extremely vague ideas. not looking good, i think for tomorrow's first half of the day, i'll start practicing my stats then start on my stats assignment. haa. need to see some substantial work done to let myself feel better...before i brainstorm for my lab report again. ok. so thats the plan. i shall do it. yes i shall! oh and.. i shall attempt to start my day at 6am again for a nice jog. haha. this time....it shall be a successful attempt!
oh its starting to get really cold. *waves byebye to summer* sobs. oooh no..i hate the cold. anyway...i'll complain more about the weather when i start to wrap myself up like a dumpling.
+God bless.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
few days back, i went for a international student volunteer meeting with ellie. quite excited at the idea that i might have the chance to go either states or costa rica for a mth during december. comprises of 2 weeks volunteer work followed by 2 weeks of adventures. i opted for costa rica. have actually submitted the form, so now im waiting to see if they'll accept my application. its kinda cool, like we have two options to choose from, either conservation work where we can work in areas such as flora and fauna conservation, or working with humpback whales(i hope i get this~!) or giant sea turtles. imagine working at close proximity with these awesome creatures. can't wait to feast my eyes on God's wonderful creation. then there's social aspect where we can opt to work with the locals, teach english or help them devise some campaigns or education frameworks and stuffs, which would be an equally rewarding and eye opening experience too. so anyway nothing has been confirmed about this, but i really hope i can get in. (and that ellie and debbie wld be able to come along toge too~ that wld be absolutely fantastic =p) *prays*
so anyway, if i do go, it would be during december. then hmm, i forgot if i've already mentioned this (cos this has been in my head for quite sometime, kinda in a state of mixing up facts with dreams. blah. do u all get this, or isit just me?)...but yeah for friends in sg, im not going back this june/july hols. gonna stay back in perth, torture myself with the extremely cold weather...lol. no lar, there's church camp and internship program during this 1mth break, so my time's gonna be relatively filled anyway. and somehow i've kinda sorted out my thoughts...wld be back in sg forever after i graduate anyway, so why not make the best of perth while im still here. enjoy the different aspects of it.
i've always loved travelling and stuffs, but lately i've this wanting to 'leave everything behind and travel the whole world by myself' kinda thought. i think i need a breather, a retreat, a time by myself and God, i need space. in the past, when im upset(and i mean really upset and helpless) i usually retreat into my own world and shut everyone off... i think overtime, i've evolved into this strange creature. constantly in this 2 states of wanting to be around people and wanting people to leave me alone (latter more actually). its difficult to explain, or rather im just not good at expressing myself well. and i dont like explaining stuffs. which is also why its tiring for me to be around ppl. to say im a person of few words, i think many ppl wld beg to differ..haa. but it is a fact though, that i really don't like to talk much, actually most of the time, i wld prefer to take a backseat and just let things slide. rather than airing my views or trying to let ppl see my point. most of the time, i also do not have much comments/interests on what people are talking about. hmm, don't get me wrong. lol. friends reading this. i love u guys. haha. (u see, at some point i have to assure ppl or do some explanation before someone gets the wrong idea. even if i don't talk, i might just offend poeple with my face. really. like when i dont smile, my face is black. well its naturally tanned, and there's nothing i can do about my face. if i don't smile..it does not mean that im pissed. ppl always ask why that straight face, well im born like that. its not a crime to be tanned u know. and i cant be smiling 24/7 for nothing.)
so anyway, most of the time even when i want to purposefully strike a conversation, say with a friend i meet on the street or accidentally bumped into friends at the supermarket .. im really stumped for words. i dunno why really. and its quite difficult for me, cos i feel awkward. maybe those were the times i've switched on the 'no-talking' mode in me..then when i see ppl.. i just cant churn out words. its exasperating sometimes. i just dont understand myself. like this kinda situation happens with ppl i dont often see, or even with ppl i see almost everyday and are comfortable with. more than often..i think it portrays a bad image of what ppl view me as..and i guess thats why i really just enjoy being by myself most of the time. socially inept? hmm i don't know. maybe just a person of limited interest. i love helping people, doing stuffs, seeing people around me happy and stuffs..but every other thing in between..i kinda find it pointless at times. i just cant find myeslf saying, "hey thats a nice bag u have, where did u get it." or "oh u had a haircut, thats nice"..or "the other day someone did this n that..."... im always amazed at how well people can hold conversations...i love being around these ppl. haha. *waves to geraldine* (and a few others, but somehow geraldine comes to mind at this juncture. lol..) i love hearing them talk..haha. i cant do the same maybe cos i just lack the skill and enthusiasm. maybe im just task-oriented and less relational kind of person? i dont know. haha. i prefer to sit back and observe whats going on. (i think that might be why one of my ambitions used to be being a zookeeper, other than love for animals, less complexity, less talking involved. haa.)
having said that, i really love observing people. really fascinates me why some people do and say the things they do.. thats what propelled me to take up psychology in the first place i guess. haa. first person i would really hope to understand is my dad. i think i get the weird character from him. haa. no lar... ok, said too much. signing off. byebye.
so anyway, if i do go, it would be during december. then hmm, i forgot if i've already mentioned this (cos this has been in my head for quite sometime, kinda in a state of mixing up facts with dreams. blah. do u all get this, or isit just me?)...but yeah for friends in sg, im not going back this june/july hols. gonna stay back in perth, torture myself with the extremely cold weather...lol. no lar, there's church camp and internship program during this 1mth break, so my time's gonna be relatively filled anyway. and somehow i've kinda sorted out my thoughts...wld be back in sg forever after i graduate anyway, so why not make the best of perth while im still here. enjoy the different aspects of it.
i've always loved travelling and stuffs, but lately i've this wanting to 'leave everything behind and travel the whole world by myself' kinda thought. i think i need a breather, a retreat, a time by myself and God, i need space. in the past, when im upset(and i mean really upset and helpless) i usually retreat into my own world and shut everyone off... i think overtime, i've evolved into this strange creature. constantly in this 2 states of wanting to be around people and wanting people to leave me alone (latter more actually). its difficult to explain, or rather im just not good at expressing myself well. and i dont like explaining stuffs. which is also why its tiring for me to be around ppl. to say im a person of few words, i think many ppl wld beg to differ..haa. but it is a fact though, that i really don't like to talk much, actually most of the time, i wld prefer to take a backseat and just let things slide. rather than airing my views or trying to let ppl see my point. most of the time, i also do not have much comments/interests on what people are talking about. hmm, don't get me wrong. lol. friends reading this. i love u guys. haha. (u see, at some point i have to assure ppl or do some explanation before someone gets the wrong idea. even if i don't talk, i might just offend poeple with my face. really. like when i dont smile, my face is black. well its naturally tanned, and there's nothing i can do about my face. if i don't smile..it does not mean that im pissed. ppl always ask why that straight face, well im born like that. its not a crime to be tanned u know. and i cant be smiling 24/7 for nothing.)
so anyway, most of the time even when i want to purposefully strike a conversation, say with a friend i meet on the street or accidentally bumped into friends at the supermarket .. im really stumped for words. i dunno why really. and its quite difficult for me, cos i feel awkward. maybe those were the times i've switched on the 'no-talking' mode in me..then when i see ppl.. i just cant churn out words. its exasperating sometimes. i just dont understand myself. like this kinda situation happens with ppl i dont often see, or even with ppl i see almost everyday and are comfortable with. more than often..i think it portrays a bad image of what ppl view me as..and i guess thats why i really just enjoy being by myself most of the time. socially inept? hmm i don't know. maybe just a person of limited interest. i love helping people, doing stuffs, seeing people around me happy and stuffs..but every other thing in between..i kinda find it pointless at times. i just cant find myeslf saying, "hey thats a nice bag u have, where did u get it." or "oh u had a haircut, thats nice"..or "the other day someone did this n that..."... im always amazed at how well people can hold conversations...i love being around these ppl. haha. *waves to geraldine* (and a few others, but somehow geraldine comes to mind at this juncture. lol..) i love hearing them talk..haha. i cant do the same maybe cos i just lack the skill and enthusiasm. maybe im just task-oriented and less relational kind of person? i dont know. haha. i prefer to sit back and observe whats going on. (i think that might be why one of my ambitions used to be being a zookeeper, other than love for animals, less complexity, less talking involved. haa.)
having said that, i really love observing people. really fascinates me why some people do and say the things they do.. thats what propelled me to take up psychology in the first place i guess. haa. first person i would really hope to understand is my dad. i think i get the weird character from him. haa. no lar... ok, said too much. signing off. byebye.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
poll ppl poll!!
yippeee! my friend who is in states now is gonna get me my brugomug!! choose color choose color!! http://store.brugomug.com/brugomug.html
come ppl, poll poll...and let me know which are the top 3 fav colors. hehe. im spoilt for choice now. most of the color looks goood. with the exception of...'sunshine', 'slice' and 'seaglass'.
coffeee cofffeeee cofffeeee on the go!!
come ppl, poll poll...and let me know which are the top 3 fav colors. hehe. im spoilt for choice now. most of the color looks goood. with the exception of...'sunshine', 'slice' and 'seaglass'.
coffeee cofffeeee cofffeeee on the go!!
Saturday, April 08, 2006
quite drained and tired now, these bouts of migraines just wont go away, been haunting me since the day i kena stomach flu (which was like wat...more than a week ago). just got a wee bit worse these few days cos its more frequent and prolonged. anyway..
was approached by my cell leader to facilitate by leading Word for today's cell. the topic was about endurance..which happens to be a topic that is so close to my (or rather for us all i suppose) heart. i mean..personally when i think about 'endurance'..so many things come to my mind, flashbacks of the past year, about my family, my life.....the pain and confusion, disappointments, then about God's faithfulness and how He has never ever failed to carry me through..at the point when i felt it was too too too much for me to bear, and as i finally allowed Him, HE took over..tears just well up as i reflect upon His goodness. although the process was painful..it allowed me to truly experience the character of God; His love, mercy and grace, to know firsthand His faithfulness and not just merely hearing testimonies from others. its always encouraging to hear testimonies of cos...but i mean to really taste of His goodness, its different, the heart literally gladdens. You know how it is always said that the The Word is life, i've always believed it, but i think i use to quite take it for granted, like ok, yea i know... however, recently when i read the bible, each word seem to 'jump out' at me, and i just come to a 'sudden realisation...hey! The Word IS life! this 'sudden realisation' thing i felt was kinda strange. cos i thought i always believe in it..i do...but now, its just different, i don't say it that 'flippantly' anymore, i say it with more conviction now.. thank God for that.. in a sense many a times when i get sucked dry by worldly affairs, i go back to the Source and find my hope in Him once again to run this race.....
much to say about the above.... but that whole chunk above is not really what i wanna pen down today.. what i actually wanted to convey was that most of the reflections, 'sudden realisation' thingy, and the drawing near to Him, happened when i actually took that step of faith, and availed myself to serve (in this case to take up the challenge from my leader to do Word) God and His people... before this i was actually kind of losing my focus again, almost wanted to tell my cell leader i don't wanna take this up anymore (ironically the topic is on endurance, cannot just give up like that right...haa. thank God i brushed off the idea of quitting).. so anyway, as i go thru the process of preparing for Word, i was kind of 'forced' to read and really meditate on the relevant scriptures. the intention might be wrong..but as i did and progressed thru all the preparation, praying about it...i was actually ministered to, what was bothering me before didnt seem to matter anymore, or rather God gave me a new mindset towards that particular issue and i was able to see it from another angle. then as i went further....i actually took joy in going thru the scriptures over and over again..praying and basically enjoying that intimate time with God.
we often think of wanting to be a blessing to others as we reach out to people, do missions, serving in wherever God calls us to...but i feel many a times as we do all these, the ones who are blessed and receive the most are ourselves. i really feel, although im the one serving, the one who is at the receiving end is still myself, i dont know how much the cell members have learnt about the topic just now, and whether it really spoke to them (i sure hope it did)..but anyway, i've defintely learnt alot thru all these...there really is much to learn, it never fails to amaze me how God works..
anyway im sorry if i dun sound coherent...trying to organise my thoughts and pen this all down before i forget tmr..haa. feels like the first draft for an essay..abit messy. don't know if it makes sense to u...but it sure does to me. haa. oh well..
thats abt all i can say for now...so tired i feel like im in a state of trance now, cant think anymore.
methinks cant wake up for market at 7am already. and im meeting cheryl and debbie 1030am at library to study.
ahhh. nitez ppl.
God Bless.
was approached by my cell leader to facilitate by leading Word for today's cell. the topic was about endurance..which happens to be a topic that is so close to my (or rather for us all i suppose) heart. i mean..personally when i think about 'endurance'..so many things come to my mind, flashbacks of the past year, about my family, my life.....the pain and confusion, disappointments, then about God's faithfulness and how He has never ever failed to carry me through..at the point when i felt it was too too too much for me to bear, and as i finally allowed Him, HE took over..tears just well up as i reflect upon His goodness. although the process was painful..it allowed me to truly experience the character of God; His love, mercy and grace, to know firsthand His faithfulness and not just merely hearing testimonies from others. its always encouraging to hear testimonies of cos...but i mean to really taste of His goodness, its different, the heart literally gladdens. You know how it is always said that the The Word is life, i've always believed it, but i think i use to quite take it for granted, like ok, yea i know... however, recently when i read the bible, each word seem to 'jump out' at me, and i just come to a 'sudden realisation...hey! The Word IS life! this 'sudden realisation' thing i felt was kinda strange. cos i thought i always believe in it..i do...but now, its just different, i don't say it that 'flippantly' anymore, i say it with more conviction now.. thank God for that.. in a sense many a times when i get sucked dry by worldly affairs, i go back to the Source and find my hope in Him once again to run this race.....
much to say about the above.... but that whole chunk above is not really what i wanna pen down today.. what i actually wanted to convey was that most of the reflections, 'sudden realisation' thingy, and the drawing near to Him, happened when i actually took that step of faith, and availed myself to serve (in this case to take up the challenge from my leader to do Word) God and His people... before this i was actually kind of losing my focus again, almost wanted to tell my cell leader i don't wanna take this up anymore (ironically the topic is on endurance, cannot just give up like that right...haa. thank God i brushed off the idea of quitting).. so anyway, as i go thru the process of preparing for Word, i was kind of 'forced' to read and really meditate on the relevant scriptures. the intention might be wrong..but as i did and progressed thru all the preparation, praying about it...i was actually ministered to, what was bothering me before didnt seem to matter anymore, or rather God gave me a new mindset towards that particular issue and i was able to see it from another angle. then as i went further....i actually took joy in going thru the scriptures over and over again..praying and basically enjoying that intimate time with God.
we often think of wanting to be a blessing to others as we reach out to people, do missions, serving in wherever God calls us to...but i feel many a times as we do all these, the ones who are blessed and receive the most are ourselves. i really feel, although im the one serving, the one who is at the receiving end is still myself, i dont know how much the cell members have learnt about the topic just now, and whether it really spoke to them (i sure hope it did)..but anyway, i've defintely learnt alot thru all these...there really is much to learn, it never fails to amaze me how God works..
anyway im sorry if i dun sound coherent...trying to organise my thoughts and pen this all down before i forget tmr..haa. feels like the first draft for an essay..abit messy. don't know if it makes sense to u...but it sure does to me. haa. oh well..
thats abt all i can say for now...so tired i feel like im in a state of trance now, cant think anymore.
methinks cant wake up for market at 7am already. and im meeting cheryl and debbie 1030am at library to study.
ahhh. nitez ppl.
God Bless.
Monday, April 03, 2006
touch rugby
woohoo! finally i got out and did some exercise. haaha. went touch rugby today with marian, clarence and ben. jogged from my place to murdoch oval, then did 2 more rounds at the oval cos they were not there yet. was kinda tired by then (the oval was BIG okieeee =p), haa. stamina did drop. =( or maybe cos the weather was kinda cold today and it was rather windy, heheh.. ok, shall stop giving myself excuses.
anyway its my first time playing tough..i meant touch rugby at murdoch, first time playing with the aussies and more than 3/4 were guys. woah..these guys are FAST. the girls were really good too, think they're quite seasoned players already. really wasnt easy trying to tag them, with their footwork..dodging skills, side step and all.. my leg muscles are aching now la, so long nv sprint already. but still, its fun!! i love this kinda game (but none beats netball =p)im still quite blur about the rules and all, they were quite tolerant on the whole, hehe. more than tolerant, they actually included me (cos the game went really fast, then i was still like a sotong trying to figure out the rules and all) in the game and made effort to pass the ball to me, explained the rules as we're playing. think if im going next week (which i most probably would, marian's also quite enthu abt this..heehe. so i hav company!), i'll not be so ambitious as to jog before the game anymore. haha. gonna jus ask clarence to fetch me. save some energy for the game. lol.
ok, im off to massage my legs. haha. goodnight ppl.
God Bless.
anyway its my first time playing tough..i meant touch rugby at murdoch, first time playing with the aussies and more than 3/4 were guys. woah..these guys are FAST. the girls were really good too, think they're quite seasoned players already. really wasnt easy trying to tag them, with their footwork..dodging skills, side step and all.. my leg muscles are aching now la, so long nv sprint already. but still, its fun!! i love this kinda game (but none beats netball =p)im still quite blur about the rules and all, they were quite tolerant on the whole, hehe. more than tolerant, they actually included me (cos the game went really fast, then i was still like a sotong trying to figure out the rules and all) in the game and made effort to pass the ball to me, explained the rules as we're playing. think if im going next week (which i most probably would, marian's also quite enthu abt this..heehe. so i hav company!), i'll not be so ambitious as to jog before the game anymore. haha. gonna jus ask clarence to fetch me. save some energy for the game. lol.
ok, im off to massage my legs. haha. goodnight ppl.
God Bless.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Saturday, April 01, 2006
went swan valley today, which is about 40min drive away. visited fruit farm, chocolate factory and wineries. was quite disappointed mangoes werent ripe yet~! weather was too cold. bleah, was looking forward to plucking mangoes and savouring them of cos. and the ice cream freezer at the choc factory broke down or something, then the ice-cream melted..so i can't get to try the super yummy ice cream that everyone has been talking about~ rarh. -_-"
but wasn't all bad, heh..got to sample juices, chocs (had lots of them. lol. yummy~), jams, wine and cheese. free of cos. haha. had an enjoyable time, my mum went with me, hehe. finally, successfully dragged her out of the room. she wasn't too keen to go out at first, especially with my group of friends, cos she thinks she'll feel out of place. but yeah, it all went well, she enjoyed herself too. and im glad. we went around took some photos, was very relaxing, had a great time. partially cos i didnt have to drive. muahaha. kinda random, but i miss my vespa~
anyway during that few hours trip to swan valley, i returned with, 2 bottles of grape juices (no added sugar and flavouring, but its super sweet and refreshing!), a packet of chocolate (thats for sure~), brinjal pickle (some kind of a dip, thats really nice too, trust me..im not a brinjal person, but i love this. goes well with salad and bread, even rice.), fig jam (but guess wat, when i got home i realised the person packed in the wrong bottle, sigh. i've got mango chutney instead. deb's favourite huh. goes well with papadum she says, so next trip to coles, papadum's gonna be on my groceries list. =p), got 2kg of seedless grapes. hmm, not too bad..i'll save a bottle of the Golden Muscatel(grape juice) to share with my non-alcohol drinking darling when im back in SG, lol..with rest of the gang of cos. ahaha. yeah yeah...TPS u wine lover..i've got dessert wine for u too. photos up soon.
tomorrow for church, going first service. haha. cos we're going dim sum after that. again. lol. this time for Cheryl who missed our last dimsum outing. hehe. ooh yeah. i get to eat my yummy egg tarts again, and i can have deb's share again, right debz right!?!?! hahaha. aiyahhhz. this girl, dunno wat she's missing out~ don't like egg tarts!? hehehe. thats always the first dish i attack!!
hmm, so i've checked, sunrises at 628am tomorrow. im intending to wake 6am for a jog before service. i hope im diciplined enough. haha. have not been jogging due to stomach flu previously, then after, laziness cos i lost the momentum. bleah. then my face bloated again, cos i've been having chocs practically everyday. if its not chocs, its nutella. haha. anyway i hope my stamina hasnt dropped too much.
there's intervarsity netball trials coming up soon, feel so tempted to go for it. attend training sessions and stuffs. and there's also social netball team for season at lakeside recreation centre..feel like joining also lei. but really not sure. hmm, by the time should be busy with my PSY311 assignment and some other tests.. though i think with abit of time management, its not gonna be a problem..but rarh. hmm. i miss those days on the courts. it was fun training with the team..and i've grown to love that game. guess its gonna be different even if i joined the social team now..but no harm trying yeah..heh...will see how.
ooh shucks, 1050pm already!? hmm, ciao, gonna bathe now. will try to update again soon. =p
God Bless.
but wasn't all bad, heh..got to sample juices, chocs (had lots of them. lol. yummy~), jams, wine and cheese. free of cos. haha. had an enjoyable time, my mum went with me, hehe. finally, successfully dragged her out of the room. she wasn't too keen to go out at first, especially with my group of friends, cos she thinks she'll feel out of place. but yeah, it all went well, she enjoyed herself too. and im glad. we went around took some photos, was very relaxing, had a great time. partially cos i didnt have to drive. muahaha. kinda random, but i miss my vespa~
anyway during that few hours trip to swan valley, i returned with, 2 bottles of grape juices (no added sugar and flavouring, but its super sweet and refreshing!), a packet of chocolate (thats for sure~), brinjal pickle (some kind of a dip, thats really nice too, trust me..im not a brinjal person, but i love this. goes well with salad and bread, even rice.), fig jam (but guess wat, when i got home i realised the person packed in the wrong bottle, sigh. i've got mango chutney instead. deb's favourite huh. goes well with papadum she says, so next trip to coles, papadum's gonna be on my groceries list. =p), got 2kg of seedless grapes. hmm, not too bad..i'll save a bottle of the Golden Muscatel(grape juice) to share with my non-alcohol drinking darling when im back in SG, lol..with rest of the gang of cos. ahaha. yeah yeah...TPS u wine lover..i've got dessert wine for u too. photos up soon.
tomorrow for church, going first service. haha. cos we're going dim sum after that. again. lol. this time for Cheryl who missed our last dimsum outing. hehe. ooh yeah. i get to eat my yummy egg tarts again, and i can have deb's share again, right debz right!?!?! hahaha. aiyahhhz. this girl, dunno wat she's missing out~ don't like egg tarts!? hehehe. thats always the first dish i attack!!
hmm, so i've checked, sunrises at 628am tomorrow. im intending to wake 6am for a jog before service. i hope im diciplined enough. haha. have not been jogging due to stomach flu previously, then after, laziness cos i lost the momentum. bleah. then my face bloated again, cos i've been having chocs practically everyday. if its not chocs, its nutella. haha. anyway i hope my stamina hasnt dropped too much.
there's intervarsity netball trials coming up soon, feel so tempted to go for it. attend training sessions and stuffs. and there's also social netball team for season at lakeside recreation centre..feel like joining also lei. but really not sure. hmm, by the time should be busy with my PSY311 assignment and some other tests.. though i think with abit of time management, its not gonna be a problem..but rarh. hmm. i miss those days on the courts. it was fun training with the team..and i've grown to love that game. guess its gonna be different even if i joined the social team now..but no harm trying yeah..heh...will see how.
ooh shucks, 1050pm already!? hmm, ciao, gonna bathe now. will try to update again soon. =p
God Bless.
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