how apt to chance upon this quote..something i've always believed in, and live by.

"True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance." -Henry David Thoreau

so anyway..heres a few more to end the day....

"An age is called Dark, not because the light fails to shine, but because people refuse to see it."
"A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right."
"To be ignorant of one's ignorance is the malady of the ignorant."

wah, hungry. i feel hunger again. amazing.
ate seafood tomyum noodle soup for dinner just now.. and i actually finished it. cant recall when was the last time i finished a bowl/plate of anything whenever i eat outside liow. either i had no appetite..or i jus share and nibble something. im craving for muffins now~ again again again..... love the blueberry muffins from starbucks~ okay, shall stop thinking abt food liao.. gonna watch drama, and be one with my bed.

just got home. damn tired. dunno why. oh yah..think didnt sleep too well last night, plus i woke rather early today.

went PS to watch Yes Man starring Jim Carrey. used to be my favourite place to catch movies. its been awhile since i stepped into theatres also. and wahliews...155pm, din noe will hav so much ppl... shld hav did internet booking. but heng still can get 4th row to the front la..not too bad. and anyway, wat an apt timing to catch this show. sighs. tsk.. a n y w a y, slapstick comedy, enjoyed it... rather hilarious, good one. quite in a shopping mood of late too, got myself a pair of shoes from DMK, and a gift for my mum. a random gift..not exactly a belated bday gift, maybe jus sthg to surprise her, and to kickstart a good year for her. then saw this fossil watch that i really like also..but hmm...$124 after discount..din feel rich enuf to geddit. owells.

wat else... actually by now, i think u can realise (or not) from my tone that...im jus really tired, i dun feel like moving....and im procrastinating stepping into the bath room.

finally visited my ex-colleague and her baby~ so cute. i want one too.. two..three..... haha. the baby's rather big for a near 2mth old baby. hope he grows up healthy and be a sensible nice young man. haa. and quite nice catching up with my 2 ex-colleagues also. oh how time flies..haa. can still vividly recall when they interviewed me for my job at DAS.

*yawns* aish.............i shld go bathe. loL.. boo.

no more mind games.

just wanna let out a big S I G H.

somehow sad, because there is no point in feeling sad anymore. becos, i am not sad anymore.

it saddens to know and expose. but there's no point in that facade.
deep down, i'd like to believe in you, and think otherwise about what has happened since day o n e. but i'm really not sure anymore. anything, that is built on (or, using) deception, is bound to go into ruins.

sorry you insisted on that path, rather than salvaging something genuine and whole, and what i once thought worthwhile.

somehow, this quote came to mind:
"in death, we live behind everything we have, but we take with us everything that we are"

love, and peace out.

OMGOSH !!

I AM REALLY REALLY REALLY HAPPY TODAY! *happy tears*
feel like screaming ~!

i cant share WHY here, sorry! but, share my joy will u? loL..

December's a really good month~ lets hope its a foretaste of wat 2009's gonna be! wheeeeeeee!!

glorious foooD~

does half a day of blading (and screaming and siam-ing) do any justice? loL...someone do the math. i know i JUST recovered...wahahaha. MUST try the salted vege and duck soup from ECP hawker centre. DAMN SHIOK !! good recommendation! *pat on the back* or does food naturally taste better with good company? :p

niteyz nites. i am bushed!

Chiqui says...

hokay~ stay tuned for more peeks~

really gotta go~ ciaoz!

peek-a-boos~

wat i got from gift exchange, hahah! according to sugardaddy, these from VS cost $80+.. loL~ okla, solli for suan-ing u kob this from hotel toilet~ loL, oh hoho i've another voucher from the cocoa tree. muahaha.

:D

Christmas tree and big screen! sets the mood right !

happy with gifts? heh

US! :)

sunshine !

nice cloudy afternoon. hehe.. hmm, but im feeling sunshiny~ :p (as u can see from the rather random blog title...HAHA)

first thing's first, mummy's bday today~~ hee, no, mummy does not check my blog..loL~ mummy's my hero~ i love my mummyy!! heh~ okay.. she seems rather chirpy today also. good good, my prayer is that she stay healthy and happy, free from all physical and emotional stress and pain. anyone reading this, please pray along with me for her today on her special day yeah ? thank u thank u :p

and also, my misery has ended, wahaha. my voice is back! *RAWRRS* hehhe.. guai guai de finish my medication le. so i can be rewarded with abit of choc and ice-cream le *GRINS*~ weee~ yes? no? keke... i can end this year with a healthy and sound body. 3 cheers! hehe~

im getting excited abt the upcoming year! gonna see many changes~ heh, and i received my long-awaited letter!! boo to *ahems* efficiency level...but yays to finally receiving it ! haha! i think some of u will laugh until peng when i tell u abt the contents of THE letter. yes, effect has been tried and tested. so who's in a down mood, want to laugh? giv me a call. HAhaha..

okay okay~ share more in person~ no time to sit infront n blog today. keke! byeeeeeeee all!

Life is Wonderful

by Jason Mraz

It takes a thought to make a word

And it takes some words to make an action

And it takes some work to make it work

It takes some good to make it hurt

It takes some bad for satisfaction

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle

Ah la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la

It takes a night to make it dawn

And it takes a day to make you yawn brother

And it takes some old to make you young

It takes some cold to know the sun

It takes the one to have the other

And it takes no time to fall in love

But it takes you years to know what love is

And it takes some fears to make you trust

It takes some tears to make it rust

It takes the rust to have it polished

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la

It takes some silence to make sound

And it takes a loss before you found it

And it takes a road to go nowhere

It takes a toll to make you care

It takes a hole to make a mountain

dreadfully sick during the supposedly best week of the year? who'd expect~ haven't fell sick for quite sometime le, seems like my body's signalling that i should slow down slow down...take year end slow. on hindsight, a recurring theme for me in 2008 seems to be 'fast-in-fast-out' in virtually all aspects imaginable.... definitely, not one of my favourites. thats some tough shit.

i've much to say, but i just cant get my thoughts organised now. think im running a fever, my throat's super inflammed, my phelm's seems thick enough to stack a brick wall, theres blood in my spit- no wait, my spit IS blood, my head and back and shoulders hurt, my nose is blocked, and theres this occasional ringing in my ear. gah. i cant even utter a single word. its painful to even swallow my saliva.. i get the idea, i get the idea..i need to visit a doc. its 6am now, great..how long more do i hafta wait. the worst part is, i cant drink coffee while waiting! ~ ahhhhh... sians !

crawling back to bed.

WAHAHA!

lOL~ my first attempt! I DON'T CARE- better support! finish the crumbs, i can handle the strawberries! haha! :p

i think the lack of whipped cream makes it look kinda weird uh?? goin' healthy! gaH! haha~

Wishing all an early Merry Christmas !! Happy hols ! *skippy skips* :D

saw this at tang's in vivo jus now! super duper wanna get it~ the cow design one so cute right right right !? then then then...makes 2 cuppa~ jus niceee!! shld i shld i shld i !? haha...cappucino maker~~ ooH lovely~ boo hoo !! i shld go back vivo again sometime soon ............... sighs !! not cheap ! cost abt $100++ ~ evil!! but one look at it, and u noe its Jing's kinda thing u noe~ its a cow design too!! heh.. :s then i wanna get my french press also havent get~ tsk !

hee i got myself a mini piggy frying pan. lOL....gonna try and fry a pig-headed sunny side up. heh..and also some cute stirrers. gaH~! my mukka express............. craveeeeeeee !

ooH realise i havent been shopping for quite sometime le..saw some really cooL and funkeh stuffs jus now.. then theres this cool national geographic shop that jus opened at vivo! first thing we saw once we went up the escalator~ loveee it~ lotsa photos~ i can only dream someday, my shots will be placed along those in the gallery. keke.

hmm, heh...so today, i've got 4 russell peter video clips! im gonna enjoy one now. haa... ! thankies doodleyy dooo!

narcissistic moment.

attempting a shot with my ever playful chiqui.

more ai swee than her owner !!

BUAY TAHAN AH!

i loveee her to bits !! haha !

ok poks, i really shouldnt be infront of this screen at this hour when im not feeling very well..byebye...i go be infront of the other screen now. HAHA

大家晚安

still cant get those chords and strumming right. so awkward when i change the chords, and the timing all went haywire when i try to sing and strum at the same time. loL~ poo-ey~ practice practice practice~ need alot of self-discipline, patience, practice and perseverance. no wonder theres a positive correlation between music participation and academic achievement. im guessing its not just the result of one's musical and intellectual capacities, but also an interplay of those traits that endures. of cos, in everything that one does..lets not forget about the intrinsic motivation that does wonders. heh..interest and passion ! though it gets a lil frustrating at times trying to get those chords right, and on time, im definitely enjoying the process. therapeutic i'd say. heh. its guitar for now, but i'd wanna pickup piano after i start receiving a steady income.

there're so many things i wanna learn and do !!!!!

wanderlust-ing

yumms! (:

quite a number of frens went Japan this year uh~ whens my turn!!? hee..but i obviously havent missed out on the goodies..keke... been wanting to re-visit Hokkaido and other parts as well~ owell~! lets hope i can plan one soon. wonder if its feasible to go next year. hmmm..

travel travel travel~~ thats wat i love to do! uh-huh uh-huhh. loL :P

靖生病了 :(

sigh

乖乖去休息了

boo !

all i want for christmas is .......................................

besties at gastrobar~ ! (:

not complete though ):

will plan one sooOOnish :D

heh..check yr inbox regularly for updates on Operation Geek PArtayyy..amidst a G12 classified email... *whistles*

hello sugardaddy! loL

finally smiling; happy with her iphone.

desperado, caught in the act.

lets jus say..she was under influence of alcohol. haha.

constipated peek before i sign off !

cheers !! let the good times roll~!

:D

tickets!

talk abt randomness~ :D excellent alternative to the usual chillout at some coffee joint post-dinner. 2nd trip to night safari..technically would count it as the 1st la. cos i din actually do a proper tour the 1st time round- too damn tired after a whole nite of cycling. ooH, that being said, both times that i went, was absolutely unplanned and random! iloverandomness! what prompted this again? i cant remember, very pleasantly surprising suggestion..heh, always feels good to be close to nature. i've been wanting to go to the zoo again woh..hmm, might do it sometime soon eh...a planned trip this time round..hee, wanna see if i can take some decent shots. loL.. anyway, thanks for the lovely company, the dinner, the night safari outing, and how u insisted on getting the insanely overpriced photo~ i know u jus got ur bonus today...but... loL....thanks anyway! :p i was complaining how short the trail was jus now uh, but rather surprised im kinda bushed now. heh... think might be cos i ate too much the whole day...darn. all the energy channeled to my tumms for digestion~ okay~ GOODNIGHT all!

For some reasons that im not quite sure of, im always excited when i hear the word 'tickets!' This word, must always be followed by an exclamation mark..like TICKETS!! heehe.. hmm i feel like gg for JJ's concert eh, i likey him and his songs.. anyone interested? lets get tickets!! loL... then there's this breakout korean b-boys thingamajig, that im interested in also, hohoho.... we'll see...oh and its been quite sometime since i've been to a musical, any nice ones lately, or comin' up? hmm...budget budget horr, we'll seeeeeeeeeeeeeee. then the ocbc cycle also not cheap! then theres the viet trip~~ hoho... ok la......thoughts and ideas all over the place. bubbye.

just a girl: the last chapter.

dun feel as though i can eat anymore today :s early mac breakfast, followed by lunch with my ex-colleagues at botak jones. im a b s o l u t e l y stuffed. the plan was muthu's curry for dinner? boo. strike that off. actually wanted to giv lunch a miss, but i thought meetup with the psychs would be good, and it was. nice short catch up~ dohz, i left my car key lying ard again...and these cheeky gals had to play a prank on poor me. loL.. they're moving to JP next week..which means everyone's really near to each other now! wooH~

all these aside, the other part of the meetup that i wasnt too keen on, didnt go too badly, well, in my view, it was bad, but it was just as expected. wats new? can never fathom. then again, from the way he ran away from proper closure what more can i expect right? fine, if he cld not muster up enuf courage or had that sense of responsibility in him...but still vaguely recalling how rudely and ungentlemanly-ish he retorted on the last few times we conversed, found it utterly distasteful and was super turned off. don't know wat are my thoughts abt all these now. i bothered too much, why should i bother anymore abt someone who cant be bothered? i mean it didnt help when i was gg thru the rough patch at home right after that.. and foolishly hoping he wld render an outstretch arm when im cooped up and stucked in my hard outer shell, i got a few kicks from him instead, that sent me deeper into hell. not sure if its pure bochupness now or mixed with lil remnants of anger in me. what's a girl supposed to do? seriously? tsk. from the way he chose to deal with things, im not even sure how we're to even meet as friends in future. totally uncool. if there was even a slight attempt to close properly, or to talk things through, wldnt even have been the way it is now. 1 freaking sms to put an end to everything? no matter how forgiving or bochup i can be.. there are just some things a girl can never, and will not tolerate. wadever ler, he has moved on, im on my way too. lets put it this way, i dun hate anymore, neither am i happy or unhappy with whats going on (or not) anymore. jus the way things are in this particular chapter of my life. they say, time heals all wounds, i'd say thats a load of crap. time is but a medium for the wound to heal, time makes u forget but the problem is still there. time would not heal anything- if it didnt force u to go thru a certain process. whether one wants to walk thru the process or not, is a matter of choice, up to the individual. anyway, on my part, i've learnt a few pricey lessons through this. thats abt all that im glad of. nthg more, nthg less.

I'm sure we all have some sense, some kind of definition from past experiences, from the people around, from the novels, from the drama serials, from our hopes and dreams, needs, disappointments and ultimate fears. Love is probably different for all of us, we all should have our unique concept and ideas about this feeling, about this relationship, about this entire notion. So, if everyone has their own ideas, how can two ever get together and fit perfectly, is it possible to have two seeing the same, emphasizing the same, sharing one love? No wonder that one person is... The One. How do you know if he is the one? When do you hold on and when do you loosen your hand for both to go ahead and seek the true one? Will we ever know what's the right thing to do? Haha..anyway, im sure we'll find our 伯樂 soon enough :p

so moving on.. im really lagging behind in my guitar practice this 2 weeks.. im not especially looking fwd to the next lesson cos of that~ :s heh.. i like to go to my lesson ready and prepared to learn new stuffs. its getting tougher with slightly complex strumming n changing of chords. kinda difficult to practice after i get home lately. and now uh...im v sleepy leh. haa..ok no more excuses. think i'll go practice for awhile now.

"愛你的那一個　
傷你的那一個
誰才是你愛情中的伯樂
放棄了這一個　
然後等待著下一個
一個個過客　過得快不快樂
(別太多過客　祝你早日快樂)
離開時別忘了　看看眼前的人"

im rather excited. hee. theres sthg i wanna share badly..but i think its not the right time yet. *inner struggle* heh....okay, cut the dramatic crap. loL.. heeheh...anyway its not concrete yet..so i shall keep u guys in suspense for now :p

yipppeee yay! things seem to be lightening up~~ cheeryy jing!

the other day darling was saying "wah, really very long nv see u so siao and upbeat liow".. i was like "yeah uh..." 迷迷糊糊的 so much has happened, and 不知不觉 i been down for quite a long time. i miss myself too. hehe. hello my lovelies, JING IS BACK!!

festive seasons round the corner~ i can hear the bells jingling, and crackers goin off~ keke... thank you ALL my loveliess for pulling me backkk. muacks.

hokay~ i wanna tuck into me bed now :D

Reyes and Reyanne

sis's mother-in-law, godsister, reyanne and me :)

The War Zone..

Reyanne

Reyes

cute !!!

my nephew and niece's combined bday celebration at toa payoh safra~ total warzone in kids adventure. kids, super cutee and fun to be with.. heh...kinda lazy to blog much these few days..let da pictures do the talking yea..haaha

thankewt ting zehzeh and kai gorgor~ loL

Presenting..... Le Grand Chef and her best assistant !

not jus looks. 色香味俱全!! ohman, although i can whip up a few dishes myself... i am truly,

i m p r e s s e d !!

how many of us, can single-handedly (okay kai gorgor helped in preparation and abit of chopping and stuffs..heh) whip up 9 amazing dishes (while wearing a dress), entertain a bunch of rascals, serve 上等铁观音, periodically top up hot water, show wedding album, talk, chat, joke...kena bullied, and still look so composed at the same time?? loL...

ting zeh zeh 太厉害了！*clap clap clap*

quick one.

woh...jus got home. so i'll jus drop a few words while waiting for the heater to heat up... :p
early start today again..had wedding lunch...which was okay. then highlight of the day is of cos bear's belated birthday dinner. meetup with the gals are always good. i dunno how we do it, or rather how i do it with them, but there was non-stop chatting since we met up at 630pm....then alllllllllllll the way till 230am when we parted. goodtimesss definitely. what do we talk abt ? hmm, almost anything under the sun..from friends..work..lifestyle..travel plans...health...yoga yoga....more yoga...taichi...yoga instructor...full body massages...foot accupuncture...haa. i dunno. just abt anything. oh, and for the first time in OUR life..we got stopped by traffic police loh! anything can happen to us when we're together. tsk.. loL...road block at holland village, and amongst the many cars that passed by, those TPs wld rather ask 5 innocent girls to pull by, and have our ICs checked!? HAHAH... anyway we din even smell of liquor, and they din even ask us to take the breath analyzer... maybe we look too young and innocent to be out at 2am?? loL.. but anyway while they were slowly at work...us 5 cld still stand by the road and chat and laugh non-stop. hmm, quite a feat. loL... nv knew what it means to 'run out of topic' with these gals. anyway..ok, photos at Ting's place not up on blog yet...most on FB already, check those out 1st ah...im a tiredy bee now. haa...here's a few from tonight. need to bathe, and sleeeeeep.

bear the birthday gal enjoying her..ehmz...was that ice mint mocha

us at nectarie ! yumms! one of my fav place for desserts and non-alcoholic drinks

dinner at tampopo

yiling, peiquan, zee

suping and me


ops..realise the photos are in reverse chronological order. loL... nairmind la uh. goo-nigh. actually...i dunno wat public hols tmr is leh...haha. who cares right. okay~ everyone, have a good break, enjoy !!

stay tuned for more... :D

food for thought

"...because unless we stand for something, we shall fall for anything."
so what do you stand for ?

"I don't care a damn for your loyal service when you think I am right; when I really want it most is when you think I am wrong."
and how loyal and committed are you in the things you stand for ?

"If you aren't going all the way, why go at all?"
"Either do not attempt at all, or go through with it."
how far are you willing to go ?


and for he who has no idea, is neutral, and sits on the fence:

"Show me a person who is not an extremist about some things, who is a 'middle-of-the-roader' in everything, and I will show you someone who is insecure."

"We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over."

not difficult to find a central theme amongst these quotes right ? no prizes for right answer... :p

wahpiang, super tired today. slept rather late last night, woke so early this morleng... (btw, yea i still have those weird dreams everynight.) shall leave the details of what i did today out lerrrrr..............but someone jolly well remember!! "很生气 leh!!" lOL...still dare say. i then 生气 can~ full of nonsense...heh..zzz.

anyway uh, jus came back from kopi with a very dear friend.. it was nice, but cant help feeling bit of a shame on some stuffs. ah well... the quality and way in which we interact has changed quite alot. Depending on how one sees it.. personally, i felt it was for the better.. 一言难尽... whatever it was, somethings can never be forgotten, and you've already secured a very special place in my heart :) ganbatte in ur thesis! so lazy to straighten out my thoughts these days.. previously, been super maxed out emotionally, mentally and physically....at the moment, i guess...hmm...dunno la. haha...i only know, i wanna rest, read...and make myself sleep before 1am tonight. the one thing i can nv stop wishing/praying/ask for- more wisdom more wisdom!! the more u learn, the more u realise u do not know...dunno why sometimes i feel i get stupid-er as i grow older. human interactions get more complex as we grow older too. so tiring. i just want to be simple. simply love, and to love simply. but not everyone can be honest in their communication with another...acquiantances i dun mind, they dun bother me. its ppl who are supposedly close to u..tsk. i just dunno why, and find it hard to understand also. and i never build on relationships lacking in sincerity, honesty, and a willingness to communicate. i hate it when ppl act as if nothing has happened when sthg obviously has. and i hate it when i feel my committment has been made a mockery of. i get upset, very upset. sad, very sad. disappointment and anger. and then, i move on. period.

anyway, learning is no doubt fun, but its also a tiring process, and it's so very essential if we are to live a meaningful and fruitful life. jiayou ah jing ! hmm, i realise my thoughts are all over the place...and has somehow translated into a very unorganised entry...haa...watever la. make do with watever u can understand then. loL...its MY outlet anyway :p bleah. heh..

rock climbing tmr ~ yeeeeeeehar! chao-tar day again~ :s

me and my crappy hairstyle with Jiawen

James, Huat and me

where do i start..wow we go way back. had a good catching up session with these tkd mates jus awhile ago. and with these guys, crap-o-meter continues to stay on an all time high. and it seemed just like yesterday when we were training our arse off like nobody's biz.. totally missed those days.

this past week or so, i did take sometime to quieten the heart.. and think through some stuffs thats been weighing my heart and mind down, then shun bian did abit of mental state 'spring cleaning'... but im rather bushed now.. so i'll probably leave penning those thoughts down when im more awake, and when i have the time. the week ahead seems pretty set and packed, for a few good causes.. haaha... one of which, im really looking forward.

ahh, although i hav quite abit of stuffs here and there that i wanna get off my chest.. i think the idea of relaxing and continuing with my book before sleep seems like a much preferred option now. ooh, sthg random.. i don't have any difficulty falling asleep lately.. but, i've been having nightmares and dreams everyday !! maybe not nightmares...but more of weird dreams everyday, and rather vivid ones too... tsk. loL..not that im complaining, or that im abt to become my own psychoanalyst... but this hasnt happened for quite sometime liao..and im rather amused. wonder wat i'll dream of tonight........heh.....zzz

oh and this weekend is the sc marathon again uh.. even tho i use to run almost everyday in perth...and even tho i can easily run an hour plus or two then without stopping..the idea of completing a marathon has never ever crossed my mind. most definitely not now.. i wldnt do it even if u told me takeshi kaneshiro's waiting for me with open arms at the finishing line, oh wait a sec..hmmm..maybe..heh... max i did was a half with frens and that was fun, but anything more than that is insanity. i meant for me la. haha. i hav utmost respect for those who actually train/jog faithfully (coupled with disciplined/healthy diet).. and i set these disciplined ones apart from those who start conditioning themselves only abt 1 or 2 mths before the actual marathon.. i cannot stress enough how much, doing sports the improper way does more harm than not doing it at all. sighs. think those ah cek i use to spot every evening at woodlands stadium beat the crap out of these ppl anytime. heh. but anyway, i've quite a long checklist of 'Must-do' before i die activities, from adrenaline pumping skydiving...to hot air balloon rides...and what have you.. but completing a marathon was never one of them, and never will be. its just not my cup of tea i guess, i'll probably like to challenge myself..test my limits in other ways... like ehmz, ehmz ehmmmmm....okay nevermind that. im happy as it is now. loL.. and to think i very nearly almost agreed on taking over wy's place this sunday. hey, actually i agreed, but automatically withdrew due to circumstances. wat more can i say? whatever it was, love makes one do crazy things. :s darling, even though i love u, dun suggest this ever again ok. haha.

but im very very de interested in the 40km ocbc cycle thingamajig..and im signing up for it soon ! anymore takers? :p

the equation that sums me up right now (:

its pouring now ! excellent timing !
btw, i love the smell of rain...hee~

great book + coffee in hand = absolute bliss !

day uno of the last month of 2OO8

however we measure it, time remains constant.

aint it amazing how time seems to speed up as you get older?
or, is my brain just working slower?

anyhoos, i seem to be in a jumpy mood today. cant sit my butt down and blog. bleahz !

another escapade, underway..

"i think a 3 days in HCM, 2 days Hue, 2 days Hoi An, 3 days Hanoi, 2 days Halong bay is good!"

but, i'd rather do a place more indepth, rather than 'touch and go'. im more of the take my time and appreciate the scenery, the people, the culture and the feel of the place kind of person leh. especially when it comes to photography, cannot rush! and also, this time round.. i really do wanna catch a breather. sloooooooooooow down mate !! but hmm, all's good.. i think i've found a win-win solution to this.. heh. hopefully !!

anyone who's been to those places mentioned? advices and suggestions !? msg me !
research research first...how long it takes to travel from one place to another- jotted down in my to-do list. loL....*yawns*..for now..i really jus need to sleep. oh wait, hair still wet.. so i HAVE to finish up another episode of fantasy couple loh..haa.. i loveeeeeeeee the soundtrack. too cute.

while waiting..

this entry actually signifies impending ice-cream treat *rawr*

another
r a n d o m
entry
made possible by

iPhone! and it continues to rock my sox !

Have a great weekend ahead all!

peace out ! :D

beautiful excerpt.

"...Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, fear, self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust. Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being's heart the lure of wonder, the unfailing child-like appetite of what's next, and the joy of the game of living. In the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from the Infinite, so long are you young..." -Samuel Ullman

let not our souls wrinkle~ but even if it should, may it merely be the indication of where smiles had been. lets all remember to slap on a healthy dose of 'anti-wrinkle cream' at least twice daily~ ! call me if u ran out of stock! keep a lookout, cos im distributing some free samples soon. satisfaction guaranteed. heh :p

check out the time.

to go along at this hour, 我一定是疯了我~ ! im black :( and peeling (jus a little).

heh... daijyoubu~ i love madness anyway.

hmm, feels like a sunday today..very leisurely..and without a worry suddenly. cant remember when was the last time i went for a MIDafternoon (i think nv at this time leh, seriously. tsk) swim, followed by a light lunch and catching up on a weekday... its always much nicer going out on a weekday yea...feeling very relaxed. maybe too relaxed, cos im kinda sleepy now. but i guess i'll 忍abit..

ok, 星期五，再来一次！

thats all for now, a
weird
random
tuesday
afternoon
entry

:)

"at the heart of all matters, is a matter of the heart"

take a break.

i can hardly feel the tip of my fingers as i type. well, after a few eventful days, i've finally let the ball down today. as its always been said, 休息是为了走更长远的路! ahh..cliche~ yikes.. anyway, i reckon if i didn't rest today, i'll have muscle spasms or something. but i'll not rest for too long as to be labelled sedentary. More badminton, tennis, swimming and soccer sessions coming up (shan't detail the makan sessions la huh *cough* lets just pretend i've been living a really healthy lifestyle)... however, no more of ALL these over a short span of 2-3 days :s Although, just for this time, i seriously needed that :) was super concussed last night.. i couldn't even hear the incoming sms~! ok ok, i know, call me a pig. im normally a light sleeper kay.. oh and, my last post, which was initially meant to be a personal outlet to vent my pent-up emotions (yea..u can almost call me power pressure cooker).. somehow doubled to be an SOS signal. haa..no wonder i've a pretty packed week after that ;) or isit jus coincidences? loL, anyhoooos! now i know who reads my blog, or rather..who cares. heh.... arigatou arigatou. i feel loved!

so whatsup on this restful day.. other than blogging this very moment...heh..i didn't exactly do-nothing today- went for a 1-on-1 guitar lesson, really very the not bad! the instructor's rather cool for one..hehe (..he looks kinda familiar leh...hmm, anyway, eh thats not my pick up line!) also, i was rather surprised the first song i got to learn was Hoobastank's The Reason. Damn cool right!? actually its just the G, Em, C and D Chords. probably the simplied version for this song la..haa, good enough tho! still not smooth when i change chords, obviously la..that needs ALOT of practice. but i can strum rather decently, and in tempo now. weeeee! then he said i can bring my stash of mp3s the next lesson, and we can choose some of my favourite (and manageble) songs to learn. heh..i'll probably pick some of jay chou's. hmm. then i went and re-string my ovation today. the string snapped as i was trying to tune...should have expected it ler, its been quite awhile. but anyway, its all good now, my ovation's finally out of the 'cold palace'.

this is a happy entry! yay! i wouldnt say im completely alright... but im on my way :) i've learnt quite alot abt myself over this past month..won't state them all here (for one, i dun feel secure enough to share EVERYthing on my blog, im not even sure who else reads these *shrugs*, the other reason ...if u wanna know more, buy me coffee first! :p ). anyway, one thing for sure, is- to acknowledge how i truly feel. im talking more abt self-acknowledgment..its scary how sometimes im honest abt every other thing, and to others...but i lie to myself on how i feel abt stuffs, and the saddest part is, i actually succeed in fooling myself for a period of time.. not very long though, cos lies don't last! which implies, im taking a detour, a much longer route everytime i lie to myself. everytime i evade something that is real. ....what im trying to say is, if im not alright, i am not. and its okay to be so- life is never a bed of roses. the only way to solve a problem, is to acknowledge that the problem(s) exist, it bugs and saddens.. then find the remedy. if theres no remedy, then learn how to cope with it in a healthy manner. i mean, u cant solve a 'problem' if u deny its existence right? makes sense? anyway..that makes perfect sense to me. ok, so same thing for an emotion- if im upset, wldnt help if i wear a smile everyday, and then act as if nothing happened. have a 'mourning period' than, watever one wld call it.. cry it out, pick myself up. and move on. ok, this sounds easier said than done, it is an arduous process. pick myself up this minute, fall down again the next, pick myself up today, fall down again the next day... what do i do? stand up again la! the crux is, deal with situations the proper way, give it due recognition, not just shove it under the carpet, or burying it somewhere..cos someday it'll jus come up and haunt you, maybe in a different form. or worse yet, not learn anything from the experience, which is a terrible thing i'd feel. sometimes, its a matter of courage or cowardice..i dunno, the latter makes me boil! but anyway, im not saying wear a bitter/sad/sour face the whole day.. just be true to myself thats all. hanging out with friends who understand really helps, alot. these treasured ones, listened to not just what i hafta say, most imptly, they listened to how i feel, the unsaid. i remain thankful/grateful to you guys & gals (you know who you are! :p )...for your willingness (read: trust in me) to open up your raw selves, in sharing your own experiences and perceptions.. and i treasure every bit of it.

anyway uhhh- as i was blogging the above..came another impromptu visit- suddenly popped out of my big treasure chest. :p so eh, train of thoughts broken, no complains! but i'll stop here for now... bottomline is.. no matter how big the blow, or wadever's happened... i've learnt, and am still learning to pick myself up and face the challenges for each day. ahh, C'est la vie~

ps: im watching Fantasy Couple now~ didnt even realise i have this. mini surprise!! who did i kob this from? i don't remember leh.. or, who left it in my hdd??? mystery~ but very cute and light-hearted show. whoever it was, xiexie ni. heh.. O_o ...onto episode 9 now!

I thought maybe it would go away. That I would get over it.

your strength is made perfect in my *weakness (':

just realised ice-cream doesnt help anymore when im really upset. nonetheless, thanks for the strawberry cheesecake- and u gave up ur personal favourite *cough yucko* chunky monkey for me..aww :')

some friendships i know i'll never never lose my grip on.. especially the kind that enables me to gobble up nasi goreng ayam, prata, tandoori chicken and teh alia, on a day when i have the least appetite..and at such weird timings at 1+am. ahh..whho cares abt guilt now, and i quote "wahlaauu, u see nice food, just eat lar! simi anorexic" :)

the situation seems to not have changed, but i am already feeling better after a long and hard cry..and, after the pleasantly sudden visit, and sinful feast.. but yes, crying is defintely not a sign of weakness, its a natural human response..one that marks the beginning of healing, and growth.

guess what, despite being in such a rough patch.. there are really heaps of people, and things to give thanks to.. and sometimes we wish we didn't had these imperfections in life, yet without which, would we be appreciative of the little things that comes our way... ? would we work, and fight hard for a better tomorrow? would we cherish when that person/thing comes into our life.. ? would we have the spirit of humility in us, to learn from our mistakes and/or to strive and be a better person.. ?

...some quotes to end the day..

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. "

"The greatest weakness of all weaknesses is to fear too much to appear weak. "

"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character. "

"If we resist our passions, it is more due to their weakness than our strength. "

"Insincerity is always weakness; sincerity even in error is strength. "

"The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they're alive. "

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. "

oh, and im on one of those repeat mode tonight. somehow this song emerged top on my playlist.. ktweee ktweee timee. okay, i hafta admit, its been a rather tiring, and emotionally draining day, or rather, past few weeks... but anyway, i guess anyone can easily sense that from my rather inconsistent blogging style these days... alrights, even though the mind is resistant to the idea of sleep, the stinging eye is already protesting with double, maybe triple, vision... goodnight everyone.

free gift. unconditional love.

these words don't really go together.
what is a free gift? Aren't gifts free?

and isn't love meant to be unconditional? yes? =)

I'm tired and superbly sick of this home.. This house!! Ugh, is there a God!!?? Help me!!!

Love over-rated..

家不成家，还有什么好说的 ...

"But as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want."

雨过了~ 天要转晴了~~

*hopeful~ (:

i know this is overdue, but.. from the bottom of my heart, thanks for always being around, u reached out to me at moments when i've lost the strength and voice to cry for help, for letting me be when i needed time alone, for enduring my wilfulness, for your patience and gentleness, for your forgiveness when i've hurt u deeply not just once.. for your indulgence in my wants/needs, nv once complained (i cant remember at least.. :p), for pulling me back when i've lost my centre, for ur constant reminders that someone always cares... thank u for being the person that you are, thank you my bigfatbeachbrollyy :')

cheapthrill !

I'm blogging from my phone!
I know it's been a long time since wireless@sg first started.. But hey I haven't been around, and and and... I only got my super cool phone that allows me to come online n browse (without grieve) recently :p

And since I won't hav Internet at home for at least a week(woe!!), definitely appreciate this service (and my phone!!) alot more. Heh.

Go tech ! .....iPhone rocks !!

Ok toodooloos for now.
Shall not be too consumed with techs when I'm out. These stuffs facilitate and enable efficiency.. But I need human touch!! Nothing can replace warmth of being with loved ones and friends, seeing real smiles and hearing their laughter. Not 'smileys' and 'loL' !!

the point being..?

The Paradoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable and self-centered.

Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.

Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends, and true enemies.

Succeed anyway.

The good you do today, will be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.

Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.

Help people anyway.

Give the world your best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.

Give the world the best you have anyway.

....not to give up hope.

dying words: i bury everyday.

since getting my P535 back. today's the first time im using it.

what's your point. i don't get it. never did.

amazing. somehow..some ppl jus brings across the same points in a more poignant manner. in a way, that strikes a chord in your heart.

靖，你可以的。雨过天一定晴！suck it ALL in...and tahan.

Freud and friends.

felt like penning something down today... but due to its infrequent use, my brain has run out of stuff that is remotely blogworthy. feels as though i have nothing to say, and, and lots to say, at the same time. what can possibly explain this phenomenon..?

My strongstrongstrong Id is telling me that I should do the same thing of running, this time, not away, but back.
My idealistic Superego says I need to continue the ascent of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. That I need to reach my self-actualisation.
My dumbass malfunctioning Ego is friggin' sick and tired of being the middleguy..

I might just have to take the MMPI soon...

random musings

someday maybe I'll write a story which the chapters don't connect. The more disjointed the better.. probably sounds stupid, but that's what I feel life is like sometimes. If I cld explain it in a different manner...Every moment is like a frame, the next might be totally different, or not. Today you're here, and maybe tomorrow, there might be someone in your place. Maybe of the five people you see in one frame, there are three you'll never see again in any of the others. Then again, maybe we're friends today, tomorrow, and for a long time after. I don't know. Everything just changes so fast. Even if you have the exact people in the same place, in two frames, there are still small things that change. I'm not talking about years years, just give it two months? *shrugs* It's unpredictable, and it makes no sense. But maybe it's really like one of those huge montage/mosiacs puzzles.. Maybe you might have a picture of mickey mouse, right next to a picture of a funeral. It makes no sense to put them next to each other, and it looks downright random. But from somewhere far away, maybe it'll make sense. i dunno.

anyway, life is both fragile and resilient. in life, we cross path with many ppl.. but we can’t keep in touch with all of them— not in any sort of meaningful way, at least. But do not allow those who are important to u to slip away. and I am very thankful for the few of u in my life, who have stayed on till now..whom have laughed together, offered an outstretch arm in times of my needs, warm fuzzy hugs at totally random moments. love u all.

The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved. -Victor Hugo

靖，该长大了

goodnight world. :'(

reality hits.

didn't realise i'll be faced with such situation.
didn't realise that i'll have to face sthg that i don't want to, so soon.

it just..gets better, each time ......

猜不透

五月天 - 你不是真正的快樂

Lyrics 歌詞:

作詞：五月天 作曲：五月天

人 群中 哭著
你隻想變成透明的顏色
你再也不會夢 或痛 或心動了
你已經決定了 你已經決定了

你 靜靜 忍著
緊緊把昨天在拳心握著
而回憶越是甜 就是 越傷人了
越是在 手心留下 密密麻麻 深深淺淺 的刀割

你不是真正的快樂 你的笑隻是你穿的保護色
你決定不恨了 也決定不愛了
把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

這 世界 笑了
於是你合群的一起笑了
當生存是規則 不是 你的選擇
於是你 含著眼淚 飄飄蕩蕩 跌跌撞撞 的走著

你不是真正的快樂 你的笑隻是你穿的保護色
你決定不恨了 也決定不愛了
把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

你不是真正的快樂 你的傷從不肯完全的愈合
我站在你左側 卻像隔著銀河
難道就真的抱著遺憾一直到老了 然后才后悔著

你不是真正的快樂 你的笑隻是你穿的保護色
你決定不恨了 也決定不愛了
把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

你不是真正的快樂 你的傷從不肯完全的愈合
我站在你左側 卻像隔著銀河
難道就真的抱著遺憾一直到老了

你值得真正的快樂 你應該脫下你穿的保護色
為什麼失去了 還要被懲罰呢
能不能就讓 悲傷全部 結束在此刻 重新開始活著

quite true isnt it. haa..tsk.

sthg i got in my inbox today.

Quote for the day:

'Whatever you give a woman, she is going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her respect and kindness, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So - if you give her any crap, she will give you a ton of shit.'

trudge on warrior.

feels good getting 'stuffs' outta the chest. whatever it is...its out. whether the ending is as my heart's desire, or not. the point is, i know, i've done everything in my power. and that is good enough, for i've tried. no regrets.

Opening my heart to someone doesn't always have to be a frightening experience. I show my affections and opine it as a truth im stating, not as a risk im taking. anyway, bottomline is.. i feel good now.

after so long, i've finally had a hearty meal. my appetite's back..and im back in chillin' mode. yeah i've yet to secure a job, and it seems at this point in time, a rather bleak outlook. add on to the fact that dad jus did sthg 'clever' again...was rather affected..but que sara sara. i'll take it a step at a day.

out of control~!

pimple outbreak!! exasperated!!!

i think been too stressed + lack of sleep.

time to pig out.

decision just proved right.

lesson learnt today: never doubt myself.

depressive realism

-- is the theory that depressed people get into the state they are in because they somehow see the world with greater clarity, and thus more accurately. you don't have to be a genius to tell that this was something i held true since i was very young. through the lens of adolescent angst, it seemed so correct, so perfect. of course that's why i'm unhappy. it's because i'm smarter. haa.

so now that we're grown, and can look back on those times with a mixture of amusement and disgust, we can ask ourselves: what's a more mature formulation of that theory? well, the model is not exactly true - it doesn't predict depression. people get depressed for a whole load of reasons, but just as many dumb people get it as insightful ones. however, if you only study people who do not meet diagnostic criteria for the illness, the pattern re-emerges: the happier a person is, the more deluded he tends to be (it's not a trivial correlation either). so here's a rare case of intuition being borne out by statistics, and the cynical viewpoint actually being sort of correct. life sucks, and you get happy by believing that it doesn't - there's a big problem with this, though. thought experiment: you invent a brand of therapy where people actively learn how to be ignorant. not CBT, not monitoring cognition, or filtering thought processes, but actively pursuing ignorance. my guess: not too many people lining up at the psychologist's door.

..in other words, your way might make you feel better, but it also might be less accurate.

it's the old sheryl crow thing.

you know

if it makes you happy,
it can't be that bad.
if it makes you happy,
then why the hell are you so sad?

i realise, that one of the worst feelings is being helpless- especially when the thing tt is not in yr control and is not fated by u, affects u directly AND deeply.

now, the worst thing is waiting.

quotable quotes.

The limits of your language are the limits of your world.--Ludwig Wittgenstein

What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.--Sigmund Freud

Genius is nothing but continued attention.-- Claude A. Helvetius

Patience is a necessary ingredient of genius.--Benjamin Disraeli

In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that he did not also limit his stupidity.--Dean Acheson

If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done.--Peter Ustinov

One of the surest signs that intelligent life exists in outer space is that none of it has tried to contact us.--Normandy Alden

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.--Kierkegaard

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.--Steven Wright

note to self.

no matter what the cost, and no matter how deep the grief, even in a battle that appears to be hopeless..


battle on, fight the good fight.

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.--Abraham Lincoln

the day my watch died.

S I A N !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

*heartache

hot, humid, dusty, unsettled, noisyyyyy.... and worried Jing misses Chiqui alot alot.. :'(

Jing just wants a good bath now.

[r][an][dom]

its been quite awhile, i'd be surprised if anyone still checks in.. well anyway, i've quit my job at the DAS. looking for greener pastures. maybe more of this next time round. havent exactly freed up my time after my last day at work. been busy moving to my new place.. trying to pack and settle down. tonite's my 3rd night at the new place, alone.. why alone? well..cos the SCV and internet has been transferred to the new place... so anywhere with these 2..i'll be fine. plus, theres a load of kopitiams in my area...so i wont die of hunger..that is if my laziness does not get the better of me...

tt being said, i've been feeling rather sick today..wonder if its plain tiredness, the gastric acting up again, or jus sthg else bothering me...... sighs. rather off balance lately.. doing and saying stuffs without much thoughts abt the consequences... making rather irresponsible decisions, that'll not only hurt myself, but others as well.

decisions decisions decisions- i reckon the hardest part in life... is to make decisions.

my love!

Finally..

Proud owner of Trek Mountain Hardtail 4500 (2008)! :)

anyone.. bike siao out there? loL~ lets rideeeeeee! ikimashooo~!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frameset- 16"
Colour- Metallic Black/Silver
Frame- Alpha Black Aluminum w/externally relieved head tube, hydroformed bi-axial down tube, monostay seat stays, forged disc ready dropouts
Front Suspension- RockShox Dart 2 w/preload, lockout, 100mm

Wheels:
Shimano M475 disc hubs; Bontrager Camino rims
Tires:
Bontrager Jones ACX, 26x2.1"; 27 tpi
Drivetrain
Shifters- Shimano Deore, 9 speed
Front Derailleur- Shimano Alivio
Rear Derailleur- Shimano Deore
Crank- Shimano Alivio 42/32/22
Cassette- SRAM PG950 11-34, 9 speed
Pedals- Alloy platform
Saddle- Bontrager Race Basic Lux
Seat Post- Bontrager Sport
Handlebars- Bontrager Crowbar Sport, 25mm rise
Stem-Bontrager Sport, 10 degree
Headset- Aheadset Slimstak w/semi-cartridge bearings, sealed
Brakeset- Avid SD-3 w/alloy levers

additions- bar ends, rear pannier

None but Jesus

In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored

When You call I won’t refuse
Each new day again I’ll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos, in confusion
I know You’re Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will

When You call I won’t delay
This my song through all my days

All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord Forevermore

Happy Birthday Shini, Xueni (and Aini) =)

tps forever looking dao..but at least ur taking photos now..hehe.

darling...forever serious with her food. loL..

and, our birthday girl's enjoying her starters :p

tps, me, xueni, half of darling's face..shini and maileng

lilian we missed u again~ dun worry, we'll meet again soon after ur exams! almost there! huggs!

birthday girl in the middle~ hehe...hope u really like the gifts...loL~ ;p

check out the food~ its yumyummss!!

xueni ! (birthday girl too~nope not twins..hehe..TRIPLETS!) but hmm only 2 of them here. hee~

awesome company~ thank God for these group of budz. (=

i baked again! (: its yummehh!

I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee my Chiqui~~

first thing i do everyday once i step home...is to play with her!! =)))
everyday she'll greet me so excitedly at the doorstep, without fail~ and do a mini dance for me. hehe. im serious! i think shes kinda like a rabbit in a dog's body or sthg. she hops on 2 feet!! can do it backwards somemore eh! cuteeeeeeeeee!! hehe.. lovee!!