Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Wearing our hearts on our sleeves..? Lets try.

Or as some people say, “being an open book”. Meaning, you know what someone else is thinking because they tell it straight up. There’s no need for second-guessing or honing your mind-reading skills. If we did that, we might offend everyone we know… but on the flip side, when we offer a compliment, they would know that it isn’t just a passing remark. It would mean something. And when we are unhappy with something they did, they would know it too. Let me qualify this. I’m not advocating that you go around and insult everyone’s fashion sense and stuff. Rather, today, we engage in societal artificiality by tiptoeing around each other. When a friend says or does something that cuts us up inside, we are hurt because we expect them to be so much more sensitive to our hearts. And YET! We conjure up a smile and secretly wish we had a plastic fork to stab them in the neck with it. Or if you are not inclined to violent tendencies, you have the perfect retort in your head but you hold your tongue because you don’t want to ruffle feathers.

When people say unkind things to us, our feelings are hurt. Instead of telling them that, and expressing our disappointment at their unkindness, insensitivities or our anger at their judgement, we cover it up with a smile- at times patronising, sometimes in genuine attempt to ‘love our neighbour as ourselves’ because we believe that by doing that, we are ‘loving them’. Other times, we don’t say a word but avoid that person for as long as it takes.

What is it about telling others how we feel that we find to be so challenging? Is it possible that maybe we fear that it may be done to us and although we say we would like to know what others feel, we actually don’t? Like many other things in life, in order for us to dish it out, we need to be able to suck it in- are you willing to hear the truth about yourself inasmuch as you’d like to tell the truth to someone else?

Taking it one step further, how do we express our genuine feelings to others without being demeaning, wrecking friendships and yet, still being able to go to sleep knowing that we have been authentic during our interaction with others? Is this now permission for everyone to be insensitive to each other and revisit primary school rationalisation of “you hurt me so I hurt you!”?

Maybe a more apt question is- how did Jesus do it? May that be our guiding light. My guiding light..

Of late I've been feeling a little disturbed by certain unmet expectations, and that has weighed down my heart and my lips quite abit. I guess, it is really time for me to quieten down and to seek Him in prayer.

Indeed, our awareness of His presence may falter, but the reality of His presence never changes. People who live together or hang out together long enough eventually begin to sound alike, to talk alike, even to think alike. So I pray, that as we walk with God, we'll take on His thoughts, His principles, His attitudes. and His heart..

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4: 8

2 comments:

rachel mq said...

^_^ amen!

Nona Ooi said...

thanks mq :)