make a guess.

okay, i just need to spew.

i havent paid for the masters course fee YET! and i need to get that done latest by 16th March before the offer will lapse. sighs.

so the story goes... yesterday as i was about to head down for payment and submission of documents for masters, SPF called me regarding my application for SPO. and then i hesitated and thought i'll think for another day.. then i finally came to a decision that night, and decided to just go for masters. so then the next day (oh which is today), before i head down for payment, i received an email from MOE asking me to furnish required documents for teaching position. SIGH~ and im hesitating again !

so now im back to square one. in a dilemna again. why do things always happen at the same time leh? but i guess im frustrated with myself also la. i dunno why im hesitating so much taking up this masters course. partially, im really not keen in spending my parents $ anymore. although my mum has been urging me to take up the course, and is willing to bear all the cost.. im very thankful for her supporting me all these years in my educational pursuits. but to go for masters again using their $... i jus dun feel good. i love studying, and i wld want to further my studies (eventually)... but counselling.....? not too sure if its my cup of tea. my hearts desire wld be NIE's applied psych if i were to do masters locally... next intake for that is January tho... sheesh. then, what ah? cant rem the other reasons now. eh...mind blank out. too tired now.

anyway, now i hav to decide whether to just register for Masters, and guai guai go study, dun think abt work 1st. OR, let this Masters offer lapse, and wait for MOE & SPF's interview. im more interested in teaching la....but policing has been a childhood dream. equally passionate. so both feasible altho job scope is worlds apart. but then i run the risk of not getting both jobs!? end up missed the chance to study, and no full time job. im not one with little confidence, BUT economy damn bad now...everyones like trying their luck on almost any job openings..and frankly, shit happens la. somethings are unpredictable and unavoidable~ sheesh. and then ah...we all noe .."gahhh-ment" admin damn slow....sighs, dunno hav to wait how long b4 they'll schedule for an interview, then wait another ~2 mths for interview results....... ?? *pukes*
sighs, not that its a big deal la... still got things to do, still hav some income, still quite filled with activities... but i jus dun like the unsettled feeling.. dun like the feeling of not knowing.....hazy hazy blur like sotong.

any comments? anyone? i've had ppl telling me not to wait and jus go further studies first, and ppl telling me to try for MOE teaching position.. more supports the former though. oh, apparently i din get any encouragement for the SPO position..haha..zz. oh, im hesitating abt the course also, cos im doing it part-time..and from what i know, and have learnt..part time masters like not v recognised in gahhment sectors leh. rather limiting. altho i do argue on the point that i'll learn alot during the supervised practicuums la...

so who knows me best? wanna make a guess...wat my final decision will be?? or maybe some wise guy out there, can help me 分析分析 abit? before 16th march please. which means i only hav this weekend to think! or, maybe...it doesnt really matter which decision i make...haha, at the end of the day, both will turn out jus fine? im sure. haha. aizai spirit. steady bompeepee! i just need your support in watever path i choose!? :p

maybe maybe~ sheeesh. so much uncertainties. so....................exciting hor. :s

oh and sthg random..i often get asked...do u regret leaving DAS? haa.... ppl close to me can at least answer this question in confidence? shame shame if u dunno! :p the answer would be a resounding no. wanna know why ah...ask me in person la. i wanna slp now. jialat, tmr sure damn tired~ ops.....

btw, i applied for HCA volunteering liow..and they got back to me today also. very fast response. anyone else interested to join me? (:

so the saying frequently goes "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"....but i think life is definitely measured by all moments, good and bad...hence, might be more apt to say "Quality of life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away" my point being? haha..spare u guys the long version for now...jus kinda explaining why i chose hospice out of so much organisations for volunteering. my own take and preference at the moment.

ok...i realllllly shld stop now.