Tuesday, March 09, 2010

What is wrong with ME ?

I have a quiz tomorrow.. and I did every other random things (including blogging) except study. I swam today as well..too damn hot and humid, I just had to take a dip in the pool. I do my readings quite consistently, but still, I hope I don't regret not reading today.. lol. So what's wrong with me? motivational issues. what's new right...typical woes of a student. rawr !

I think I'm into my 10th week in Uni.. After having done so many reflection exercises... I'm wondering if I've come to a deeper understanding of who I am. Have I clarified myself enough? Do I know my own biases and prejudices..and why I do what I do? Do I understand me?

To state the obvious.. everyone talks. Before you write me off as being a pseudo philosopher, let me suggest this- the conversation we have with others first takes place within ourselves. On some level, the words we speak are a consequence of our beliefs, values and thoughts. So maybe the times that we’ve made a Freudian slip or stuck our foot in our mouths, we felt like empty vessels that make the most noise… Maybe, that is more insightful to our private world than we give thought to.

We each have our private worlds (where I talk to myself, debate with myself, congratulate me and/or soothe myself when things go wrong).. And then we have our public worlds, where we relate to others.. Let’s focus on our private worlds. The ME world. What do we say to ourselves when unchecked is our sense of reality- Our Truth. What conversations do we have there? Are they just observations of others? Are they judgmental? What would happen if in the next 5 minutes, our self-talk was broadcast to the person next to you (and you had no control over it)? Would they perceive you to be two people living one, really confused life?

In order for us to have a better understanding of why we say the things we do to the people around us, we first must examine what we say to ourselves..

I am not neurotic ! heh.. I am talking about reflections. Take sometime off your busy schedule for some reflections.. that's a really important thing to do.. (:

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