Live well, my friends

Resumed work yesterday. Great to be back. What's even better- payday tmr, and 4 more weeks to hols. :)

So, more often than not, things don't always go according to plan.. But hey, I'm not going to worry.. for tmr will worry about itself. Can't say I'm at peace or totally comfortable (actually far from comfort..) now.. but even with all the recent happenings, I'm just glad to somehow still be able to find hope in life. Even if its a teeny weeny bit of hope, its still hope. If there ain't hope...life is still a duty. no? we've gotta complete it, well, somehow. It's easier said than done..but, still do-able. I'm not about to say anything about the ones who've decided to end their own life prematurely though.. just very thankful some failed and they get a 2nd chance, woefully, some succeeded. I'd like to remind that we can all make a conscious effort to be kinder to the people around us, be it in words..or go the extra mile in actions. We'll never know who needs that added dose of kindness and encouragement.. and even a mindless harsh/kind comment might just break or make one's life. More often than not, its really the extraverted and cheerful guy or the typical clown in the clique that feels most pain, loneliness and brokeness deep inside. So try not to assume and take things at face level. For those who are masking their deepest emotions, for those who are feeling really alone now..I'd just like to say that there are other avenues to seek help, there are people who really care and love (come to me at the very least if u really find no one, I'll make time for u :) )...There is hope as long as we choose not to give up. Take it from a person, who's going through a rough patch herself too.

My life.. In some sense, I've had a relatively easy one, but on another..its just really tough shit. As I grew older and supposedly wiser, things happened. Dreams started to fade and I was left with a whole new set of realities, the realities of responsibility. And soon, I caught myself looking back wondering where it all went wrong. I reflected...and reflected. But still.. I'm left clueless. Somehow just got thrusted into all these stuffs... Good thing is I've stopped asking why. "why is this happening to me"... but rather I've long accepted the realities of my life, I've accepted the present situation. Honestly, I fear- every single day. but I try not to let this fear paralyse me. I just give my very best..and really thank God for the morning light, for each new day.

How should I face all these? I'm not exactly sure.. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. is there a better way of handling my emotions and reactions towards these issues, any more that I could have done? I wish someone can tell me "hey you're doing fine, handing things the way you should.." or offer me a fresh perspective on matters. I don't mind getting told that I'm 'wrong' or there are ways that I cld improve..pride takes no hold over me as i earnestly seek solutions, to be a better person, to be a strong support for close ones who are in need, to be able to make firm and wise decisions when the need arises, to breakoff from this feeling of constant stagnation..

Owells...anyway...... im aizai, and im coping, but of course right.. :p Thankfully...work has been great. like super. I really love my students..that is when they don't do a major meltdown. aha... *sweats* Oh, today I learnt that one of my boys has a teddy bear named Bao, and Bao's birthday falls on Halloween..ahah. random. He's too cute..he loves eating..and everything to him revolves around food. like we say...have a terrific thursday, he'll say, "have a teriyaki thursday!" lOL... i'm just really glad to be working around these kids. its a real joy and blessing.

On to other random stuffs.. time to R&R. I love this song, and I still remember who gave me this album (i kept it well) :) It's weird how I associate songs/albums with different individuals. It could be shared memories, it could be the lyrics, it could be that the song was on billboard the period of time we always hang out, it could be the things we do together. It's just automatic, the song plays and image of that person will pop up in my mind. Well, I don't know..I think it happens to everyone right? hmm. ya I guess, or it could just be that I'm a sentimental freak. owells. doesnt matter. at least I know of a few other sentimental freaks too :)

Ok..really time to pen off. Enjoy the MV. Pssst- Don't miss the sunshine Aizai- because she never once left mah. haha. Still as genki as ever! See you all soon!