"I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me that much" -Mother Teresa
I'm really really worn out.. But somehow I know I can persevere.. all these is gonna past. Even if it were to end in
a less-than-ideal way.. It's still gonna end, someday, somehow. I know I won't break just like that. Over the years
I'm pretty aware that I've kinda built up this resiliency..or I dunno what to call it, the ability to flow and adapt
to each circumstances that comes my way, fast. No matter how traumatising.. I get use to the idea and just continue
doing what I need to do.. No time to feel sad or ask why. That's just my life..and what i've taught myself over the
yrs facing all these issues alone. I know some people find this 'flexibility' hard to accept.. Either that, or
they just assume things are back to 'normal'..And i can hardly blame them. Though I'd hafta say, it gets quite
upsetting when this 'flexibility' masks the fact that deep down I wish people would care more abt how I feel or am
coping emotionally rather than flick it away as "she's strong she'll have no problem handling.."
I dun really know what I wanna bring across.. I just write..The blog being my most trusted outlet.. But it'll be a
mistake if one is trying to understand me or what's happening through this channel. Anyway I think I'm just tired and at moment saddened by some other stuffs.. Saddened by a sudden realisation. Sigh.. I should just re-align my focus and channel whatever energy I
have left on pressing matters ...
Nmind.. Aizai u can do it.
Very encouraged by JD and Xin.. Thanks u both. Really felt the love.. Everytime i see 'Chiqui', i can't help but
smile from the bottom of my heart.. And those mags..pleasantly surprised u guys rem what i love.. It meant more
cos I dont even rem wat I enjoy, or what i can do to relieve myself of these anxiety and other negative feelings..
And you guys .. Hmm cut it short, I felt comforted by both ur presence and how u both shared and opened up those
options to me..peppered with lame jokes as usual. :) Thank u..
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