take a break.

i can hardly feel the tip of my fingers as i type. well, after a few eventful days, i've finally let the ball down today. as its always been said, 休息是为了走更长远的路! ahh..cliche~ yikes.. anyway, i reckon if i didn't rest today, i'll have muscle spasms or something. but i'll not rest for too long as to be labelled sedentary. More badminton, tennis, swimming and soccer sessions coming up (shan't detail the makan sessions la huh *cough* lets just pretend i've been living a really healthy lifestyle)... however, no more of ALL these over a short span of 2-3 days :s Although, just for this time, i seriously needed that :) was super concussed last night.. i couldn't even hear the incoming sms~! ok ok, i know, call me a pig. im normally a light sleeper kay.. oh and, my last post, which was initially meant to be a personal outlet to vent my pent-up emotions (yea..u can almost call me power pressure cooker).. somehow doubled to be an SOS signal. haa..no wonder i've a pretty packed week after that ;) or isit jus coincidences? loL, anyhoooos! now i know who reads my blog, or rather..who cares. heh.... arigatou arigatou. i feel loved!

so whatsup on this restful day.. other than blogging this very moment...heh..i didn't exactly do-nothing today- went for a 1-on-1 guitar lesson, really very the not bad! the instructor's rather cool for one..hehe (..he looks kinda familiar leh...hmm, anyway, eh thats not my pick up line!) also, i was rather surprised the first song i got to learn was Hoobastank's The Reason. Damn cool right!? actually its just the G, Em, C and D Chords. probably the simplied version for this song la..haa, good enough tho! still not smooth when i change chords, obviously la..that needs ALOT of practice. but i can strum rather decently, and in tempo now. weeeee! then he said i can bring my stash of mp3s the next lesson, and we can choose some of my favourite (and manageble) songs to learn. heh..i'll probably pick some of jay chou's. hmm. then i went and re-string my ovation today. the string snapped as i was trying to tune...should have expected it ler, its been quite awhile. but anyway, its all good now, my ovation's finally out of the 'cold palace'.

this is a happy entry! yay! i wouldnt say im completely alright... but im on my way :) i've learnt quite alot abt myself over this past month..won't state them all here (for one, i dun feel secure enough to share EVERYthing on my blog, im not even sure who else reads these *shrugs*, the other reason ...if u wanna know more, buy me coffee first! :p ). anyway, one thing for sure, is- to acknowledge how i truly feel. im talking more abt self-acknowledgment..its scary how sometimes im honest abt every other thing, and to others...but i lie to myself on how i feel abt stuffs, and the saddest part is, i actually succeed in fooling myself for a period of time.. not very long though, cos lies don't last! which implies, im taking a detour, a much longer route everytime i lie to myself. everytime i evade something that is real. ....what im trying to say is, if im not alright, i am not. and its okay to be so- life is never a bed of roses. the only way to solve a problem, is to acknowledge that the problem(s) exist, it bugs and saddens.. then find the remedy. if theres no remedy, then learn how to cope with it in a healthy manner. i mean, u cant solve a 'problem' if u deny its existence right? makes sense? anyway..that makes perfect sense to me. ok, so same thing for an emotion- if im upset, wldnt help if i wear a smile everyday, and then act as if nothing happened. have a 'mourning period' than, watever one wld call it.. cry it out, pick myself up. and move on. ok, this sounds easier said than done, it is an arduous process. pick myself up this minute, fall down again the next, pick myself up today, fall down again the next day... what do i do? stand up again la! the crux is, deal with situations the proper way, give it due recognition, not just shove it under the carpet, or burying it somewhere..cos someday it'll jus come up and haunt you, maybe in a different form. or worse yet, not learn anything from the experience, which is a terrible thing i'd feel. sometimes, its a matter of courage or cowardice..i dunno, the latter makes me boil! but anyway, im not saying wear a bitter/sad/sour face the whole day.. just be true to myself thats all. hanging out with friends who understand really helps, alot. these treasured ones, listened to not just what i hafta say, most imptly, they listened to how i feel, the unsaid. i remain thankful/grateful to you guys & gals (you know who you are! :p )...for your willingness (read: trust in me) to open up your raw selves, in sharing your own experiences and perceptions.. and i treasure every bit of it.

anyway uhhh- as i was blogging the above..came another impromptu visit- suddenly popped out of my big treasure chest. :p so eh, train of thoughts broken, no complains! but i'll stop here for now... bottomline is.. no matter how big the blow, or wadever's happened... i've learnt, and am still learning to pick myself up and face the challenges for each day. ahh, C'est la vie~

ps: im watching Fantasy Couple now~ didnt even realise i have this. mini surprise!! who did i kob this from? i don't remember leh.. or, who left it in my hdd??? mystery~ but very cute and light-hearted show. whoever it was, xiexie ni. heh.. O_o ...onto episode 9 now!