random notes.

i guess i am in some sense okay, and in some sense not okay at all. but the message has been really clear these few days..

to believe and to wait in submission even if it takes a really long time, to walk in step even when we don't understand.

waiting upon God not only builds our character.. i guess more importantly waiting always cause us to have a communion with God.

Despite being a man of great faith, Abram had his doubts...despite both him and sarai creating a few mess here and there... God still demonstrated His ability to clear all that up..God still delivered His promises to Abraham.. I guess the idea was Abram continued to follow God's commands even when he doubted [if u were wondering..i was reading Gen 15].

thank you God..that You're a Man of Your Word! thank You that You are unchanging, thank You for Your love, and Your commitment in fulfilling Your promises... no matter how long it takes, help me believe and continue to obey.

...u know...if theres one thing i hate most in the world...its ppl not delivering their promises, even if its not promises, like simply just flaking things off... like 'oh yeah...i'll do it...i'll this and that......' and then they don't.......this is a sure way to irritate the hell out of me......like ughhh! i get really disappointed and pissed. anyways, i'll just stop here for now..

btw, what i write here...is meant at times as a reminder for myself, an outlet...or watever. not meant in anyway to teach, to preach...or get my point across to anyone..unless its a specific shoutout. much as im appreciative ppl care enough to read whats on this blog...who i really am is not confined to what i write in here. if that made any sense... but anyways, if ur happy stay and read. if not, you're more than welcomed not to..

..sometimes i wonder what's life. how it is...when u totally don't know what to do, you can't reach out to someone you love so much... don't know how to convey that..."im really here for u.." message across.... how painful that whatever it is, eventually it'll still be a lonely journey that we each have to take. i guess thats life. and theres a reason for all these, for everything that is happening..

but to uplift things a little, life as i would choose to believe is more than that.. it can be about skipping heartbeats.. being passionate over what you do, over-enthusiasm in *stuff*, about relating the whole experience to a better friend, to someone who will laugh together with you at the nonsensical moments in everyday... trusting and just playing the game simple, laughing..err..being someone's laughing stock =p ... I won't take offence...haha, too old to take offences.. too old to let ppl crush my insecurities and remind me of my imperfections.. so much has happened, so many new feelings and insights, so many things in and out of tis puny head of mine.

so much random stuff i've written..so many more random thoughts swimming around in my head.... but i've got no time to do some major 'housekeeping'. i guess im a person who really needs a lot of time to myself..lOL...no wonder some of u call me crazyyyy... haha. im coming back SG sooon (short or long stay dunno yet)! anywayyyy enjoy ur peace while u can. heheh. =p

..how good is it if all these add on to my thesis word count.. aha...i'll be a tad bit happier =p