and I find rest in You...

"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." 1Peter 5:6–7

i just embarrased myself big time this morning when i met my co-supervisor. initially, the plan was to meet up to get her signature for some stuffs.. so then, when i met her..i decided to ask her some stats stuffs... and here goes the conversation..

me: .....so i was wondering if it was alright for me to go ahead with that analysis..
sup: ..well you could do that, but due to the sample size..blah blah....its better if u do a visual inspection to......
me: oh hmm..visual inspection.... there is a function for that in SPSS!?

it took me about 5 seconds to realise what an idiot i was........zzzzz.
my supervisor almost burst out in laughter, and i could see that she was trying to hold her laughter throughout the conversation after that.

i cld argue that i wasnt quite awake when i met her and stuff..aha. but sighs!

Thank You Lord, for the love I don't deserve..

what can I give, that is not already Yours...
who am I to choose how to live..when all I have to loose, is what You give.
Lord, take my all, my everything...
Here I stand forgiven..Lord for You, my life I'll live.

Lord to You I surrender..I surrender all...

5 weeks plus to thesis submission. i am officially stressed. what's grieving me now is the stats part. the whole analysis.......it is just too damn difficult. my head's cracking, falling apart..i dun even wanna rant on this now. this is nightmarish...the last thing on my head before i sleep is this freaking analysis part for my thesis. everything is thesis thesis thesis~

but anyway, even though it seems almost impossible to get pass this whole stats thing now (wails!)... there isn't a doubt that i'll get my thesis done. just a matter of how much hair i'll drop...haha.. grah.

so anyway, with that (plus, quite a number of people have asked)...so what's my plans after hons....... ? Answer: I honestly don't know. There are just too many factors that i hafta take into consideration. and i just don't have the time and energy to think about it now (well, maybe i just don't wanna think about it, not too sure myself).

haha. okays...i wish i had more to say... but my life's been pretty uneventful lately. i've got nothing on my mind now other than my thesis.

edit:
how many times have i used the word 'thesis' in this one short post. ugh. terrible. im sick of that word. haha. zz

friends agree!? =p

You Are An ISFJ

The Nurturer You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal. A good listener, you excel at helping others in practical ways. In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music. You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for. In love, you express your emotions through actions. Taking care of someone is how you love them. And you do it well! At work, you do well in a structured environment. You complete tasks well and on time. You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist. How you see yourself: Competent, dependable, and detail oriented When other people don't get you, they see you as: Boring, dominant, and stuck in a rut

What's Your Personality Type?

i am now in the library...about to start a crazy night of data entry + figuring out nonlinear-regression. i hate this (because this is my 3rd data file!! and its no joke keying in all those crap man.....advance warning to all who may talk to me in the near future. if you think im not looking at you when im talking...i actually am. its just my eyes gone abit kuku. blame it on the amt of data entry i hafta do). like 1000 plus rows of data...and i have to do it twice over for this 3rd data file....this is crazy. not that i did up the previous files wrongly...its just that there are different uses for each. crazy crazy crazy...why me!?

i got stucked trying to understand the nonlinear regression thing, then i emailed my ex-tutor last night who taught me Methods 3...and he met me this afternoon, then he couldnt figure it out either, so then he called another tutor (this guy tutored me for Methods 2...and he couldnt figure it out either!).... like sighs...but then i've gotta say i've got excellent tutors/support here at Murdoch. haha...it was totally not his business at all...but he so willingly sat down with me for no less than 1hr 30min...trying to figure out how to analyse my data...and talking through some concepts with me. though he couldnt help much in the end, but still awesome. appreciate it alot. oh and he said he'll get back to me after he got some stuffs figured out. like how cool is that?

so anyway, guess who was the first to greet me while i was walking to the library. it was my hons classmate..haha..and the moment she saw me....she just couldnt stop laughing. i dunno why. haha i guess its just that common understanding that....stats is abt to drive us mental. then she had to ask me a zillion questions (okay not that much...just one is enough to kill me actually) abt her stats stuff for her study....i was really trying hard to digest what she say, and i tried my best, but still could only offer her some not-very smart suggestions and advices...haa...i promised i'll get back to her. haa..zzz. so i better. oh, and i finally got to know her name when i asked for her number. haha...like i've been talking to her for so long, but i just can't recall her name...and too embarrassed to ask after so long. loL....zzz

anyway for now.....back to spss.

li-chan~! that couple who so shamelessly+rudely invaded our comfy table+seats in the library when we were still there........is sitting right opposite me now! hahah. okay..v random. but anyways...cos it took me abt 1min to realise who they were....look familar mah.

but okay..enough crap.

edit:

oOo...okay..not bad. finally at 1.05am. im done with my data entry (i suspect theres more to come actually. once i get another email from my supervisor.......)..... 2 1/2hrs...not as bad as i thought it would be. but thats becos i've aready spent yesterday and this afternoon doing it.

oh and yes.. although this is very unorganised..ima blogging in a very non-chronological order..anyway who cares.. went for prayer meeting before coming to the library. i believe very much in the power of prayers, and how there is synergy when more ppl gather together to pray...but today was waaaaaay out of my comfort zone. somehow i've been shoved to the front to be prayed for in proxy for my mum...it was abit too much fuss for me...and im probaly the kind of person who really dislike fuss and attention, and dislike bothering ppl with my stuffs.....then i just feel weird. but then again...i guess its not abt any of that...but believing that God is hearing all those prayers, and that we in turn hear what He has to say. more imptly, Ps Benny mentioned tt prayer is abt submission..... so i guess, comfort aside... but also.. thank u all who have been keeping me and mum in prayers. although i dislike the fuss..i still appreciate your prayers!

i had a rather interesting day today. finally met up with my supervisor in uni. well, as most of u know, shes on maternity leave this whole sem. but then she had to brief me about this new stats thingy that she wants me to use for my study. so anyways, she brought her baby along...hahah, and it was really quite an amusing sight..seeing her carry her baby, and doing all the motherly stuff. i mean like...it should be normal..but then cos shes my supervisor..so thats kinda not the scenario i'd have in mind when we meet up. aha... then we had to proceed to the education&humanities building to use the program that they have and we don't (like im wondering why does the psych faculty not provide anything that we need.....dohz...) so anyways....off we go, my supervisor, the baby in the pram and I...haha.

after we reach the computer lab in EH building...she was carrying her baby and trying to guide me through the RUMM program...and cos she hasn't played with the program for quite sometime..so we had to trial and error for quite awhile. then baby started to make quite abit of noise...and we had to head back. haha... but i think we did churn out quite abit of stuff for me to do more work, before i bug her again.

really appreciated her coming all the way down to uni to sort some stuff out...but i felt bad as well~ zzz. haha... didnt help when today's weather was really nasty. poured big time as we step out of the EH building...and then we had to run back to the psych building..with baby, pram and all. quite drama mama.

so anyways....i did quite alot of readings/homework on wat this Rasch modelling thing is abt..thank God i didnt meet her with an empty head...but then, its one thing to know abt the theoretical stuff..and quite another to churn out some useful stats using the program...so yeah...i guess i'll need to head back down that lab and figure the rest out myself.

and...i'll hafta hand in my 1st draft for thesis in abt 2 weeks time.

and.....today's the start of FCC's 21 days season of prayer. im glad i went. i missed last cell and sunday service cos of this super nasty headache+backache+flu+fever+sorethroat+cough.... horrible. so anyways....im muchmuchmuch better now...left with abit of cough and sorethroat.

okay methinks, im gonna be slightly stressed this week. haha..
anyways...ops..way past sleeping time.

hope everyone's doing fine! be well and God bless. =)

NewLife College

as promised. some photos I took while doing testings at NewLife College. it was their book-character dress-up day, haha. did my testings on Mr Incredible...and, can you spot Inspector Clouseau? loL

tragic!

thats my car's antenna! :(

using it to make contact with mars now...? erms. haha

how much to fix that? any idea, anyone? any lobang!?

我忍！

Data collection COMPLETE!

finally done with data collection! whoopee~!! 78 participants in all~ short of 2...but thats alright methinks. it was tough getting schools to agree helping out with my study, but no regrets totally. i think i rather work with kids than with adults. really good experience. tiring but fun. and the last school that i did testings in was really really good. the principal and staff were super helpful and friendly. even made a sign for me to blue-tack it on the door "testing in progess, please use copier in ELC"....orh, i had an entire photocopier room to myself. haaha. that was cool.

anyway im really glad this testing phase is over...now i just hope my data makes sense.....loL. i keyed in all my raw data into SPSS...and..haha, i don't know what else to click besides checking for correlation.. its time to read up and refresh my memory on stats.. then again... i think i'll be using some model that i've never came across before in my previous stats units. Rasch model...anyone familar with that? haha. zzz.

You Are Milk Pocky

Your attitude: caring and charming Smooth and silkly... invigorating and natural. You are like comfort food for the soul.

What Flavor Pocky Are You?

PS: Li-chan~ i didnt get banana flavor too~! haha...eh...but got that kind of flavor for pocky mehh mehh mehhh? next time buy for me. loL

completed my testings at newlife college today. did a total of 47 children up till now.. yays~ 33 more to go~!

it was quite good today at newlife. today was their book character dress up day. haha. i was there early, so then joined them in their assembly+parade thingy....quite cool....i enjoyed myself. haha. the staff actually joined in the dressup too. principal came dressed as Pink panther's Inspector Clouseau. loL~

i dunno if it was because of all this excitement, today's kids....were exceptionally......talkative and active. haha...i had to go "so...lets get back to the game shall we?" ... like 2 or 3 times...heh...but it was good fun.. haha.

and wat was really unexpected was...while i was bidding farewell to the teacher, 2 of the 5year olds whom i've tested came up to me and gave me their drawings.. in their super sweet and innocent voice, they said "i did this for you" and handed me their drawings. so sweeet~ gosh..din quite expect that...and before i walked out the door, 2 other girls ran up to me and gave me a hug. wow... sure was heart-warming. these kids really made my day..haha.....cldnt stop smiling as i drove all the way back home.

and some other kids whose parents din return the consent forms crowded around me and asked why didnt i 'play' with them... i didnt quite know how to answer them though. aww so sad~! im gonna miss those kids~

anyway, adrenalin's up next!!

rain extravaganza

pretty self-explanatory. rained the whole day today. an entire day to myself to do my readings or whatever, in this case... blog. in the comfort of my room. haha. so thats good. but lets hope it'll be bright and sunny tomorrow, cos im gonna start testing tmr at newlife college. weather probably? lots of kids have been sick, flu-ey and all...that probably explains why i only get back about half the parental consent forms that has been sent out? if not i don understand why the parents are reluctant to let their child take part in the study...or probably the forms never got to them? haa.. which reminds me, i had an anxious parent calling me early one morning, asking if it was tooo late for her child to participate, cos the child stuffed the consent form in a corner of the bag, and she just found out abt it that morning. that was quite funny i thought. haaha.

lately i've been thinking quite abit abt getting PR and the possibility of doing masters/phd. quite psyched up after chatting with sm about that..should be fun with more hands on stuff. but anyway, i'll blog about this another time.

so tmr's gonna be a full day...and i guess the whole week ahead's gonna be quite full on too, with adrenalin over the weekend, and more testings. and im really looking forward to all of that. yeah bring it on!

O_o

despite her willingness to help...i still feel like strangling her. -_-" gave this principal more than a week's time to send out the parental consent forms...and i've been waiting with hope in my heart...and ...THIS is what greeted me in the morning when i checked my email.

Hi Nona,
I was planning to send home the letters today, but I seem to havemisplaced them. Could you please email me the Principal letter andpermission slip and the parent letter and permission slip?
Thanks,
Jo

excellent....now im delayed by another week...because i have to wait for the parental consent forms to get back........zzzzzzz. and i thought i was done with complaining abt the efficiency level here in perth....thought i should have gotten use to it by now.... but really...i don't think thats ever gonna happen...they just outdo themselves every single time.

note to self: peace peace....this is not gonna spoil my day. DEEP BREATH!

yesterday, i planned to wake up early again today to continue with my thesis and all. haha..but in the end woke up later than expected...and with abit of a backache. i dont know how that happened.

but anyways, today's a lazy lazy day. slacked it away. but overall wasnt too bad. taking things slow. aha.. and i suddenly miss my CD collection i left back in sg. bored of those i have here. i dont have much here anyways....a few praise CDs, one David Tao album..David gates songbook....killbill OST...thats abt it...dont even wanna look at them anymore. and as most of you know, i've already deleted my massive store of mp3s.....and since i can't live a day (almost) without music....imeens the next best thing. haha.

spent quite a fair bit of time listening to music and just reading some non-thesis related stuff today.. loL...which is very the good. and oOoo found alot of Lisa Ono's music on imeen and i've created a playlist out of those~ so yays~ and nice things must share. haha..so i've created a nice little chillout corner in this blog. haha.... take a break, sit back and relax. (:

exclusively swong.

excerpt from typical msn conversation with my dearest cell intern (whom we all just can't resist loving, can we? =p) :

I'll sing in the darkness, I'll laugh in the rain says:
haha. cause no reply for so long...so I thought u gone away..

JY says:
orh...u nv ask question mah. so nothing to reply lo

I'll sing in the darkness, I'll laugh in the rain says:
HAHA. okeyy. how was the apple that u ate just now?

JY says:
wat apple?

I'll sing in the darkness, I'll laugh in the rain says:
HAHAH. I was trying to see if I zhun anot...just randomly guess 1 fruit.

JY says:
...............


p/s: for the record, i ate strawberries and kiwi fruit today. try harder next time round. =p

okay i've decided i really hate blue. haha. feel so blue everytime i visit my own blog. brown and green shall be it for now.. not so sure if its a good mix of colors..but anyways..abit more soothing to my eyes. loL...colors from nature. heh..makes me feel more at peaceeeeeeeee.

OoH, amazing what colors do to you. aha...i feel different now. heh.. is it the colors..or isit just me this morning? hmm..heh...i woke up at 645am (even before my alarm sounded) feeling really refreshed and well-rested. i use to be a night person..aha.... seems that age is catching up. loL... more of a morning person now. feel so at peace in the morning. feeling real glad that i've still got a whole day ahead to get my work done. i did some readings just now...and guess wat, its only 10am now! love it. ahha...okay. motivated! back to work.

why the sudden uplift in spirit? well eh, nothing has changed. i just felt like like being cheery today. haha. OooO...and the weather's really quite good today too. matches my mood.

hmm..wat more can i say..indeed His mercies are new each morning!

*sings* i've got peace like a river i've got peace like a river..i've got peace like a river in my soul in my soul

stop!

What I got from last sunday's sermon was "walking without compromise". stay seperated, stay pure...and not take on worldly values.

I've been really convicted in this aspect. I never budge no matter what people say, as long as I'm certain what I do is right. At the end of the day I'll only need to account to Him.

Anyway theres no way I can please the whole world...humans, are just impossible creatures. i really really don't understand the way people function and how people think (okay...i know im writing as if im of a different species...but watever). like when u sincerely love people, they'll do the worst unimaginable things back at you. or say the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate time. its just double..triple...a hundred times more pain when that kinda thing comes from people close to heart. i rarely sweet talk, i don't beat about the bush when i do or say things. i just name what i see. i just do what i need to do. if i love u, i do through actions. not just say things that you'll like to hear. what's love anyway? since when is love about feeling good all the time? its about growing and learning. maybe i have low EQ, but then again, maybe not. people have to learn what, at some point in their life..don't they? 忠言逆耳!! okay out of point for now. anyway, of late i've been burdened by a few issues, and I've started to doubt myself about the things I do and say. and i really really really hate that! stuffs that i just never thought would occur. and its mightily irritating and annoying.

its time to put an end to this. there's no way i can control ppl's thoughts/actions... and there's no need for that anyway. But i've gotta stop questioning myself based on other ppl's attitude towards me...if not i'll go crazy sooner or later. stop and check, before i lose myself completely. since beliefs and values form the essence of one's identity, i guess its time for some re-evaluation. time to reflect..and to seek Him prayerfully. what in the world are my beliefs, where they orginated, and how they guide my life. are my beliefs distorted, is it limiting me? serving me? crippling my life? or what?

anyway, i'll be back to pen down my beliefs, thoughts and values. not that I don't know what they were before.. but i guess i'll just write them down to remind myself of who i am, before i lose myself in this crazy world.

Yet I will REJOICE IN THE LORD, I will be JOYFUL IN GOD MY SAVIOR

i have been feeling really unhappy lately. is that a choice? can i choose? can i choose to not be unhappy given certain circumstances?

happiness is but a state of mind? It's all in the mind? I'm not too sure about that.

but one thing for sure, choose to brood over your problems and your problems stay stuck like chewing gums to shoe. what should i do now? i don't know. thats why i choose not to think, i choose not to feel. i choose not to talk. i don't know what i can do anymore. there's nothing more for me to do actually. God grant me patience, help me in my disbelief. God grant me wisdom.

i have to maintain sanity, i have to finish up my work. thats the most practical thing i can do now. breathe breathe breathe.

try try try. magnify the smallest things in life.

The joy of the Lord, shall be my strength.

"Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights." Habakkuk 3: 17 - 19