it's the old sheryl crow thing.

you know

if it makes you happy,
it can't be that bad.
if it makes you happy,
then why the hell are you so sad?

i realise, that one of the worst feelings is being helpless- especially when the thing tt is not in yr control and is not fated by u, affects u directly AND deeply.

now, the worst thing is waiting.

quotable quotes.

The limits of your language are the limits of your world.--Ludwig Wittgenstein

What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.--Sigmund Freud

Genius is nothing but continued attention.-- Claude A. Helvetius

Patience is a necessary ingredient of genius.--Benjamin Disraeli

In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that he did not also limit his stupidity.--Dean Acheson

If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done.--Peter Ustinov

One of the surest signs that intelligent life exists in outer space is that none of it has tried to contact us.--Normandy Alden

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.--Kierkegaard

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.--Steven Wright

note to self.

no matter what the cost, and no matter how deep the grief, even in a battle that appears to be hopeless..


battle on, fight the good fight.

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.--Abraham Lincoln

the day my watch died.

S I A N !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

*heartache

hot, humid, dusty, unsettled, noisyyyyy.... and worried Jing misses Chiqui alot alot.. :'(

Jing just wants a good bath now.

[r][an][dom]

its been quite awhile, i'd be surprised if anyone still checks in.. well anyway, i've quit my job at the DAS. looking for greener pastures. maybe more of this next time round. havent exactly freed up my time after my last day at work. been busy moving to my new place.. trying to pack and settle down. tonite's my 3rd night at the new place, alone.. why alone? well..cos the SCV and internet has been transferred to the new place... so anywhere with these 2..i'll be fine. plus, theres a load of kopitiams in my area...so i wont die of hunger..that is if my laziness does not get the better of me...

tt being said, i've been feeling rather sick today..wonder if its plain tiredness, the gastric acting up again, or jus sthg else bothering me...... sighs. rather off balance lately.. doing and saying stuffs without much thoughts abt the consequences... making rather irresponsible decisions, that'll not only hurt myself, but others as well.

decisions decisions decisions- i reckon the hardest part in life... is to make decisions.

my love!

Finally..

Proud owner of Trek Mountain Hardtail 4500 (2008)! :)

anyone.. bike siao out there? loL~ lets rideeeeeee! ikimashooo~!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frameset- 16"
Colour- Metallic Black/Silver
Frame- Alpha Black Aluminum w/externally relieved head tube, hydroformed bi-axial down tube, monostay seat stays, forged disc ready dropouts
Front Suspension- RockShox Dart 2 w/preload, lockout, 100mm

Wheels:
Shimano M475 disc hubs; Bontrager Camino rims
Tires:
Bontrager Jones ACX, 26x2.1"; 27 tpi
Drivetrain
Shifters- Shimano Deore, 9 speed
Front Derailleur- Shimano Alivio
Rear Derailleur- Shimano Deore
Crank- Shimano Alivio 42/32/22
Cassette- SRAM PG950 11-34, 9 speed
Pedals- Alloy platform
Saddle- Bontrager Race Basic Lux
Seat Post- Bontrager Sport
Handlebars- Bontrager Crowbar Sport, 25mm rise
Stem-Bontrager Sport, 10 degree
Headset- Aheadset Slimstak w/semi-cartridge bearings, sealed
Brakeset- Avid SD-3 w/alloy levers

additions- bar ends, rear pannier

None but Jesus

In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored

When You call I won’t refuse
Each new day again I’ll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos, in confusion
I know You’re Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will

When You call I won’t delay
This my song through all my days

All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord Forevermore

Happy Birthday Shini, Xueni (and Aini) =)

tps forever looking dao..but at least ur taking photos now..hehe.

darling...forever serious with her food. loL..

and, our birthday girl's enjoying her starters :p

tps, me, xueni, half of darling's face..shini and maileng

lilian we missed u again~ dun worry, we'll meet again soon after ur exams! almost there! huggs!

birthday girl in the middle~ hehe...hope u really like the gifts...loL~ ;p

check out the food~ its yumyummss!!

xueni ! (birthday girl too~nope not twins..hehe..TRIPLETS!) but hmm only 2 of them here. hee~

awesome company~ thank God for these group of budz. (=

i baked again! (: its yummehh!

I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee my Chiqui~~

first thing i do everyday once i step home...is to play with her!! =)))
everyday she'll greet me so excitedly at the doorstep, without fail~ and do a mini dance for me. hehe. im serious! i think shes kinda like a rabbit in a dog's body or sthg. she hops on 2 feet!! can do it backwards somemore eh! cuteeeeeeeeee!! hehe.. lovee!!

css buddies at Timbre.

tps, shini, weiying and me!

darling and me! weeeeee!

Lilian where are uuuuu? dun bury urself in books!! :P

us at island creamery for Dorcas' farewell. not the entire team of psychos here..most of them are though. then we hav some from the IT + admin side too~ nice colleagues

Colleagues at the DAS (:

Dorcas, Puayson and me

quiet afternoon.

this is a backdated entry...i wrote halfway, then got busy again..heh..

im in the office now. just completed my first case today (yayy!!....that is of cos, with supervision from my senior psych.hee..). well i had my first session on 13th (cognitive assessment).. and today was the literacy test+concluding session. for the most part of interviewing and assessment i was taking the lead with the senior observing me... but i left the entire concluding session to her, heh..not confident enough, scared i'll be too emo + also lacking the tact to convey results to the parent, or for my case i guess, too sensitive about the mother's feeling..then i'll hem and haww and possibly not convey the results of the assessment as required... truth sucks, reality bites... and thats something i have to get used to la. owells...i have to do it sooner or later. i guess for my next case...which is this coming Tuesday+Wednesday! Anyway..guess what..i'm currently taking a break from report writing. haha... somehow it feels different writing a report now. not writing for a grade, but rather one that could possibly aid (or break) a child. how i use to complain abt assignments and report writing while i was at Murdoch. haha...now for every child i assess, i have to write a report. and the load currently is 1 child per week, which will soon increase to 2 child/week......normally we're given abt 4weeks to write a report after the assessment...so...hmm...think abt the reports thats gonna pile O_o heheh

time at the DAS has gone by unusually fast. its been a month (plus 4 days to be specific) since i've started working! I guess thats good in a sense- means I'm enjoying myself here. Happy with my job scope, there are still heaps for me to learn, and im enjoying the whole learning process. Though it can be rather stressful at times...not really due to the expectations of others or anything, but more of the expectations i have for myself. colleagues have been really patient and helpful. and im really thankful for that.. :)

24th March

have not been very motivated in updating the blog regularly..much as i want to, loL..i just get distracted with TV..my doggieee...with family and friends...with work that im honestly loving so much...heh..

anyways, im already done with my 2nd case as i continue with this backdated entry...loL...a very interesting case it was...heh..slightly traumatised by the child's hyperactiveness during and after the assessment. O_o cute kid..but i wldnt want to be his teacher in sch... aha... well he aint that bad la..but didnt expect to get hyperactive kids for my 1st few cases. loL...but its all goood. im glad Dorcas was there to observe and supervise. haha...and she was able to provide suggestions on how i cld better handle these situations next time round. talking abt this, i am rather sad that she's leaving. such short time we hav as colleagues! i'd think there's so much to learn from her.. her experience at the DAS, with kids..and even looking up to her as an example of how one could bless the workplace with her faith and love for God. but owells, people do need to move on, and im happy that she's moved on to greater and better things in life.

okay i made some apple pie today! weeeeee! bringing it to work for my colleagues tmr. heh...specially for Dorcas who's leaving, and Clement who went all the way to Compass point and queued there for an hr, jus to help me get N82 at a cheaper price. loL...

getting my 2nd pay in a few days timeeeeeee!!!! weeeeeeee! :p

Week 1.

hey..its friday! i've worked for a week! no dramas no nothing. its been rather smooth sailing- but i guess thats cos the practical aspect has yet to set in. still trying to piece together the different theories of dyslexia (awful lot!), and the various issues that tags along...the diagnostician's role and blah.

other than readings, there were discussion sessions, mini lectures by senior psychs. then yesterday i had the opportunity to observe a testing session conducted by one of the senior psychs through a one-way glass. i mean i've seen these kinda stuff on TV, but still the whole concept was rather interesting. a novel experience for me. but the client was a 15 year old child, so it was a rather routine process...just observed how the testing was done, the tasks used, how my senior brought the child through the whole process..and issues that cropped up (well, none yesterday actually). but that was good.

in an hour's time, i'll be heading down with the senior psych to AMK's learning centre. to see what the centre is like, what they actually do..and to observe when she teaches..prob get a gist of how the association works..what actually goes on....know what the child would be doing after the testing sessions. looking forward to that... need to get out of the office. O_o

hmm...week one. gone. just like that. so fast. and i'll be here for at least 3 years. kinda tired + unreal, actually. havent really sorted out my thoughts on work and all... everything jus kinda...happened. rushed back SG after submiting thesis..went for a short break to Korea. then lotsa stuff happened at home...then i hopped onto the first job that accepted me. then back to Perth for a week to pack during CNY, then started work immediately O_o

been blogging abt wat i've been doing at work (as opposed to what's going on in my mind)... i guess this weekend's a good time to do some catching up with myself. i mean...i don't like what's happening. thrusted to do stuffs..make decisions, to just go with the flow... but i don't actually have time to think about how i feel about everything that has been happening. and to 'make sense' of stuffs...owell.....probably cos i've lost my Focus.

day one.

......of my first full paying job! (=

so how was it? as with all other jobs, i guess...day one is just orientation. getting to know the place, the organisation, and the people. had briefing from one of the specialist psychologist abt what the job entails, and the schedule/training for this coming month. then there was a meeting with the director...which was rather interesting. what he said was quite inspiring, and a little assuring.. btw, the director's dyslexic. heheh... interesting. real life portrayal that having dyslexia does not paint a bleak future. people with dyslexia can achieve great things in life.. that is, of cos, with lots of perseverance + hardwork. well ... who doesnt need that 2 qualities to be successful in life.

so anyway, i havent regretted signing the 3year contract...sounds like a really good training ground for me, with a variety of opportunities awaiting me in the future. apparently our specialist psychologists gets sent to UK/States for conferences and stuff. sounds cool huh. of cos...i'll need to put in maximum hardwork. 2 of them are heading to UK to present their paper this coming march~! *wonder whens my turn* heh...

up till now..there are a few things i quite like about this organisation. working pace is comfortable.. no one's rushing around with knitted eye brows and stuff. people generally know their work, or they arent afraid to ask and discuss, set a good pace, ppl seem really helpful...helps each other out on cases. havent sensed any office politics..maybe its too early to say. first impression, i'd say its a very friendly environment...heh... well psychologists are supposed to be nice and understanding ppl....arent they? loL...

hmm wat else....oh, ALL the psychologist in my office are females! no guys. haha. darn! the only guy i saw was the IT personnel who helped me set up my workstation + email. yarps..thats the only guy ard. loL~ hmm...now this part of my future seem bleak to me.. i wanna get married before 30years old leh! okay..out of point. lets get back to talking abt my job...

hmm its a 5 day work week..so if i hav to work on saturdays, i get to choose one weekday off. which is quite cool. makes it really flexible to run watever errands i hav to. basically they dun really mind, as long as u clock 44hrs a week, and ur learning/contributing. theres that option of coming in earlier for work, and leaving office early as well.

one thing really strange is....i don't even hav the option of working OT even if i want to! haha. everyone leaves ON THE DOT! omgosh...loL..i wanted to stay abit longer to browse thru articles n print out some stuffs...but then...everyone jus started leaving one by one from 530pm...and practically no one was left in the office by 6.10pm (yea...even the admin people disappeared~ like *ppoooof* all gone)! one of the senior psychologist who was the last...said...oh hey..lets go, last one to leave hav to switch off ALL the lights in the office. i was like..oh oh..okay okay. dun leave me aloneee. lets go." i thought that was quite funny...in comparison to all my good friends who keep complaining abt working till late and stuffs.......heh.... *yah tps...talking abt u*

well..theres nothing much to do on the first day....actually..nothing to do at all. haha...jus ALOT ALOT ALOT of readings. piles and piles and piles of reading. hmm... im abit stressed though, cos 2 others also started work with me today. one of them holds a masters and the other postgrad in counselling or sth...and they hav like tonnes of experience working elsewhere... kinda stress i'll lag behind during training. haha. im gg to piah all my readings...and make sure i dun fall back. i think readings-wise im okay...its jus that i dun hav the practical knowledge and experience...one of them worked as a school counsellor before this..and the other at MINDS as ermz...some therapist or something.....so when it comes to practicing the assessments with the tools and stuff...i'll probably be sloooower...well, we'll see.... i do hav that bit of experience dealing with 78 kids last year! i think i think too much la...haha. too much pride..dun like to lag behind other ppl.

and ermz...i jus like to bop around too much...sitting at my desk from 830am - 6pm....seems too much for me to bear at the moment. haha....i dun want a big butt and potruding tummyyy! oh and funny part...everyone's really skinny and small sized~ haha. im like the tallest there O_o....hmm and theres the talk abt professionalism when they were briefing abt dress code and stuffs...i gotta cultivate that professionalism thingy... haha...dun hav that at all now, dun hav the feeling also. plus i look young (well i am young.. )...i guess i'll hav abit of difficulty convincing the parents. hmm...i guess first and foremost...take pride in wat i do, put in my best...and all the professionalism thingy will come.....loL~ Jing ah Jing....work harderrrr~!! at least gain a sound understanding of ur job first. GANBATTE!

ooh and a special shout out to Mr Alvin Soong! HAPPY BIRTHDAY to youuuuuuuu!!! :)

at walters.

Alright folks, I'm back in Perth. Packing up before I head back Singapore again- to start work. If I haven't told you...I've got myself a job at the Dyslexia Association of Singapore. Whoooopeee dooo~ got myself a job working with kids (and abit of interaction with their parents....*woe*)..then there's the usual report writing, and research, which is i guess inevitable in psych. I've signed a 3yr contract with them..no, theres no scholarship involved... there was just alot of mention from them that its a heavy investment on their part, takes alot to train up a new psychologist, it'll take 1/2yr to at least get the hang of the work there... so we'll see. i was abit hesitant at first, but owells..i thought why not. to gain a full understanding and be good at something, i guess 3years seems fair enough. anyway this will probably make me go all out and do my very best...not that i wldnt if there isnt a contract, but i guess i dont have a choice now. =)

the 2 senior psychologists who interviewed me seemed really nice...so im hoping it'll be a good working environment.. and... that i'll receive the training that i've been promised. i wonder wat working life is gonna be like.. hopefully i'll develop a passion for this job...if not..it'll be quite tragic. so its mostly assessments on our part...but not much of interventions, which means helping the child cope with dyslexia and stuffs..they have specialist teachers for that. which is rather disappointing i felt. assessments would probably take 1 or 2 sessions the most? i don't reckon there'll be any followups from there....anyway this would all come in much later.

i guess for now, i need to have a thorough understanding of wat dyslexia is...know everything there is to know abt dyslexia. honestly, i think during this four years in uni, i've only had ONE lecture on dyslexia...oh wait a min, not a whole session dedicated to dyslexia..jus a mini little portion of that ONE lecture. so anyway, i've been doin abit of research on my own..reading up online..got 2 books from Murdoch library as well...hopefully i'll start work with enough knowledge (for the time being) to not portray myself as an airhead. -_-"

so wat else.....lets see..back in perth, and its really hot. alright, i dun really wanna start complaining anyway. my last time back in perth, some stuffs im really gonna miss...and some, not at all. *ops*...walters has closed~ omgosh...din even realise everyone's gone. until Adrian came and sit by me~ O_o ... okay, gotta go now.

:'(

I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

I'm pressed but not crushed
persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength
Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning