苦中一点甜

i swear i was hard at work.. owell, then i needed a mini breather. can't help but reach for the m9 :p

first shots.. :)

sleep;

and rain;

the perfect match.

thank goodness for the rain these 2 days. theres a certain contentment and peace that comes from doing work on a rainy day, armed with a cup of coffee, of course :)

(almost) consumed by work.

my friend said,"played soccer in the haze...wonder what's the PSI in my lungs nw"

the first thing that popped into my mind was..."huh? what processing speed in the lungs??"

*PSI is the acronym for Processing Speed Index...one of the composites of a standardized intelligence test....

ohwell..not that anyone's interested. i was just amused for a moment. okay, moment passed- back to work.

hello !

kinda slipped my mind that i have a blog. whoops.
i've been busy. and will get busier. but i think im doing good. i met a good balance of people did a good balance of activities (ohwell, okok, eat more than anything..standard).

mm, what else. haha. then im headed to mt everest come december.

alritey. im tired. talk more when we meet. goodnight ! ^.^

Pulau Ubin

Pretty lucky yesterday ! Rain cleared by late morning as we set off to P. Ubin. Perfect weather for shooting~ lighting was good and it wasn't too hot ! :D
neither walked alot nor did anything strenuous....but im rather tired now and my back's aching leh. jialat..damn weak.

Alritey, here are some of my shots from yesterday. Hope you enjoy the photos as much as I had while taking them :D

results are out !

and i'm HAPPY !

hope i can keep up with the effort next semester !


oosh !

great conversations

person a: what are you doing now?
me: studying.
person a: ooh in what?
me: applied psychology.
person a: at ?
me: NIE
person a: oh! you wanna be teacher ah !?
me: -_-


boss: 不要吃ah ?
me: mm 不要啦，减肥
boss: 肥? 哪里？耳朵？鼻子？还是眼睛？
me: carbonara. kum xia.

wah.

a lil taken aback. but after what i've been through the past 2 years, its gonna take more than that to upset me.

not feeling exceptionally anything but i reckon its worth an entry here. the end of something always signifies the beginning of another.

i know, my posts are getting shorter and more elusive as days past. haha sorry about that.
ookie doks. looking forwards to Friday and Sunday ! and more good days to come !

in other news, im going Taipei next month ! :D

woohoo !

high5s poolside party !

im looking fwd !!

work hard so i can play hard

endure

endure

endure


endure

I cleared one unit ! last lesson for that unit today...today i got back an assignment, and handed in the last assignment. i've already passed, i just need the last one to get a distinction.

mm on the whole, im not as stressed doing masters as when i was doing my undergrad. im not sure why. i think i wouldnt say the same next year when i'll be writing my thesis and doing my practicums la. haha. for now though, i can basically complete my assignments 1 week before due date.. O_o that was something unheard of when i was doing my undergrad. i was equally hardworking leh. owell. it's a good thing anyway. not to say... im not stressed, it's pretty not me...you know, to have the self-discipline to complete readings every week faithfully and stuffs. im not bragging here, but im just saying i don't know what happened along the way, and what changed me. self-discipline.. mm.. i hope i keep this up. seriously.

I hope i can do a good job for my last 2 assignments. im so tired now. didnt sleep well last night. i wasnt thinking of anything in particular, my brain just refused to go to rest. im gonna sleep soon after i finish blogging, wake up real early tmr to start work again.

ooh and my lecturer ordered pizza for us today ! so sweet of her. now, this is an area i lack discipline in. i had 2 slices ! and..i ate 2 muffins today too. 2 super yummy muffins. mmmmm lovemuffins !! just can't resist them >_<

owell, goodnight ! i am so looking forward to a good break ! :D

Donavon Frankenreiter - Move By Yourself

I remember those times
When they said I couldn't make it
I told them I couldn't just do what they wanted and fake it

They said they'd be shocked if I could find another place to go
And you know they said if I left I'd just be all left alone
And then a friend said

Don't stop doing what you believe in
Don't let them put you on a shelf
You've got to move by yourself, move by yourself tonight
You've got to move by yourself, move by yourself tonight

Sometimes they can't forget
Forget just what you've got
But don't ever be no, no
Somebody that you're not
When there's a choice you've got to make
Do what you feel, don't hesitate
You know I will never, never forget what a friend said
His words keep ringing in my head
He said

Don't stop doing what you believe in
Don't let them put you on a shelf
You've got to move by yourself, move by yourself tonight
You've got to move by yourself, move by yourself tonight
I said you've got to move by yourself, move by yourself tonight
You've got to move by yourself, move by yourself tonight
Oh move on, move on baby

Move by yourself, move by yourself tonight
You've got to move by yourself, move by yourself tonight
You've got to move by yourself, move by yourself tonight
You've got to move by yourself, move by yourself tonight

f o u r down 2 to go !!

I'm on a roll baby !!

amused (and thankful)

Today marks the 2nd last session of our in-class support group. So we're actually setting the tone for closure next week. the facilitators made us write cards for each of the members during the session today. and, this was what I got from 6 other members..some of which tickled me a lil.

"Hi Nona, Thanks for sharing ! I felt I learnt a lot ! Oh yeah, if theres a green card, I'll choose that color as I know you like green color"

"Hi Nona, Actually you are real fun ! I really enjoyed the little (and short) conversations that we sometime manage to have."

"Dear Nona, Thank you for your friendship & all that you've shared during this time. You have so much strength and courage within you. May you continue to grow in these areas. Know that I do appreciate the gift of you in my lfe."

"Hi Nona, Thanks alot for closing 'the gap' when I facilitated. Best wishes in the things you do :) "

"Nona, You are like the 'spice' in a dish. You can always 'spice' things up in the session when the session is not progressing."

"Jing Ying, you said that you're not really a ppl-person & might not share much, but I really think you're more than you think you are ! Thanks for asking me that first time that we should study together sometime & finding me on msn as that really helped an introverted person like me. Thanks for sharing so openly and your feelings n everything, I really thank God He sent me this friend ! :) "

heheh... just amused at some of the comments. and the spice part really tickled me. lol...if i was a spice...mm i don't know, i guess i'd wanna be the mmm-oh-so-fragrant cinnamon. hehe. other than really loving cinnamon stuffs in general, the idea that it's more suited for use in sweet dishes works for me. and, it's typically a love-hate relationship with cinnamon.. some people just hates it. well i guess, im the kind who don't need everyone to love/like me, or have my thoughts and feelings validated by all.. haha im fine with that idea. (oh. apparently cinnamon was proposed for use as an insect repellant too :p)

so anyway, im pretty amazed at how group counselling works. and being a part of the support group actually made learning highly personal and relevant- something that i defintely could not get from reading. i started this unit pretty skeptical..abt it's efficacy and all, but now my perceptions have changed. maybe i'll write more abt my thoughts and feelings regarding what i've learnt some other day. haha. i need to do my work now.

wonderful week 10 !

yayness ! the tough week has come to an end~~ well almost ! today's co-facilitation session went really well too ! whooopee ! Presentation's over as well ! oooh, and i scored pretty well for my quiz ! teeehee~ :D so I still have.. 1 essay, 2 reports and 3 major reflection paper to complete before holiday !! mmm all these within a 1 mth timeframe. AIZAI ! Shall give myself this weekend off before I start piah-ing again.

im tired but all smiles today !

work work work work work work work work

Friday... but no TGIF feeling ! Pretty productive this week.. done with 1 presentation and 1 quiz. and I went for 2 job interviews..both of which were successful ! Both are actually part time research assistant positions. One requires me to administer tests to children, the other one to interview parents. the latter pays better..heh... 1 completed interview = $60 ! kachiiiiing ~~ $_$
money aside, I do gain more experience and I get the chance to network abit as well. know more people in my field. then the co-investigator actually asked if im interested in another full time RA position under her, cos she has another grant for a seperate study.. it might be good to just have a chat first.

But anyways...did I say I'm tired? this week was super busy... next week even worse. I've got 3 assignment due next week, all on the same day (Thursday). So ermz...don't attempt to call me out before that okay. I will be super looking forward to the dinner on Friday..either I'll be damn tired and seh...or I'll be super hyperactive and just flop when I come home that night. I don't know why..but when I'm really really tired, I become super hyperactive. O_o

Anyway yes....this weekend = work work work and more work. Meeting tmr morning.. so ima sign off now...and do more work. goodabye.

What is wrong with ME ?

I have a quiz tomorrow.. and I did every other random things (including blogging) except study. I swam today as well..too damn hot and humid, I just had to take a dip in the pool. I do my readings quite consistently, but still, I hope I don't regret not reading today.. lol. So what's wrong with me? motivational issues. what's new right...typical woes of a student. rawr !

I think I'm into my 10th week in Uni.. After having done so many reflection exercises... I'm wondering if I've come to a deeper understanding of who I am. Have I clarified myself enough? Do I know my own biases and prejudices..and why I do what I do? Do I understand me?

To state the obvious.. everyone talks. Before you write me off as being a pseudo philosopher, let me suggest this- the conversation we have with others first takes place within ourselves. On some level, the words we speak are a consequence of our beliefs, values and thoughts. So maybe the times that we’ve made a Freudian slip or stuck our foot in our mouths, we felt like empty vessels that make the most noise… Maybe, that is more insightful to our private world than we give thought to.

We each have our private worlds (where I talk to myself, debate with myself, congratulate me and/or soothe myself when things go wrong).. And then we have our public worlds, where we relate to others.. Let’s focus on our private worlds. The ME world. What do we say to ourselves when unchecked is our sense of reality- Our Truth. What conversations do we have there? Are they just observations of others? Are they judgmental? What would happen if in the next 5 minutes, our self-talk was broadcast to the person next to you (and you had no control over it)? Would they perceive you to be two people living one, really confused life?

In order for us to have a better understanding of why we say the things we do to the people around us, we first must examine what we say to ourselves..

I am not neurotic ! heh.. I am talking about reflections. Take sometime off your busy schedule for some reflections.. that's a really important thing to do.. (:

another weekend gone ! :(

Last night, I set my alarm clock for 7.30 a.m. This morning, I just couldn't get out of bed. My brain quickly makes excuses: "I'll work out later, I haven't slept enough, should get enough rest so I can concentrate on my work later, blah blah blah." I tell myself I'll work out tonight, but for some reason or other, it did not happen. >_< Sad. Well, not really la. sleep is good.

so anyway, yeah, another weekend has come and gone by. my gosh... i am so very tired. the shiong week has passed..here comes an even shiong-er week. *breathes*

the only thing worth mentioning this week was the gathering at Zee's, woohooo, drummer babe ! u r damn cool ! make my hand itch again.. ! it's been years since i played. yeah, thanks for opening up your place. so i realised i can't draw to save my life.. should have taken photo of that 'wolf' i drew... *sweats* next time i'll bring Taboo or some other games k, pictionary can keep. haha.

i am just procrastinating... i think. i should be getting back to work.

raawrrrr.

next up - the shiong week

Just got back from KKH. attended a neuropsych lecture there this morning... Lecturer from Harvard really different leh..haha, really can deliver, not a boring moment. If i hav a chance to do phd, I'd defintely wanna do it abroad. hmm but not in the near future i guess...shall see abt that.

All I know now is that, in awhile i'll be off again, to a task group meeting. i dun like group work. blargh. hope all goes well. next week's gonna be pretty hectic....sighpies. i hope to cheong this weekend...my to-do list is pretty darn long.....Can't wait for Friday when the HighFives meetup. steamboat !! weee...excellent way to unwind~ u gals always make my day! can't wait can't waitttt

i love parcels at my doorstep

took abt 2 weeks, but it's here !
I'm not too sure Larry and friends can survive past day 4. hehe

Didnt melt, amazing !
Yet to try any.. but I'm thinking..... mmmm
sweet.

(:

I love my rest.

Happy Chinese New Year everybuddy ! :D

started my new year aching.. thanks to paintball. lol.. my 2 most painful shot- on my back and butt, courtesy of my teammates. zzz. and my legs feel all wobbly now~ it was pretty fun, but i didnt enjoy it as much as i thought i would. maybe im not so garang and all anymore..haha.like to take things slow and easy now. or maybe it's just a lil tiring after class. hehe..but okay la, good experience. go kart next, i think i'll enjoy that more, but $28 for 10min... O_o collect angpow liow then decide again. :p

hoho, okay, just a note to wish all happy holidays! have a great one !

i didn't realise it's already 1am. yawns. came back from class.. and i started on my reflections straight after showering. somethings you just cant procrastinate. have to do it when it's fresh on my mind.

so i handed in my first major assignment on wedneday. that was a relief..but of cos, many more to conquer.

i guess, im coping fine in my course. lecturers arent here to fail us or to make life difficult.. so it'll be pretty difficult to screw up lar...i guess. at least for now, do my readings faithfully..and just do what i hav to do. think im pretty on track. doesnt mean there's no stress.. am just saying effort will pay off at the end of the day la.....mm i hope. haha.

officially started our first real in class support group today. i'll be co-facilitating the next 2 sessions...yikes. wish me luck.

okay, have reached saturation point, am pretty zonked now actually. not sure why im here.

*snores

here and now.

I wasnt quite aware that i've not recovered fully from my mental exhaustion until today. not sure if it's cos i've not been sleeping well these few days or that it's just that issue in general. owells, certain things cannot be rushed. though i tell myself that.. but inevitably, this core part of me just can't wait for the day of freedom to arrive. i really must try my best to live in the 'here and now'.

sighs. i really should stop sighing. haha. i need a holiday. i need many many holidays. i am so looking forward to the upcoming May - July break.

ookay, for now, time to shower and continue with my assignment !

caffeine;

keeps me up when i need to sleep.
but it doesn't keep me awake when i need to work.

this love-hate relationship is going through a rough patch of late.

yikes

Dunno why the weeks seem to pass by so quickly nowadays.. Before I know it, I'm into my 4th week in uni. quite scary, not sure how i'll do this semester. Everyday's a challenge now, to be disciplined enough to complete my readings before each class.. do research and stuffs. i've been doing alot of readings and reflective work... it's pretty good in a sense, forcing myself to jot down, concretely some of the thoughts that i tend to shove to the back of my mind. assignments seem to be significantly tougher at this level. sighs. theres this assignment that i've been procrastinating, and its due next wednesday. :( i really must do something before the day ends.

much as i hate to admit, stress is mounting !
and this is just the beginning.....

nevertheless, i'll still try to enjoy this process as much as i can. i try to remind myself it's not about the grades now.. but rather how much i can learn and how i can apply what i've learnt in my daily living and in future, at work.

hmm okay, just a note to say im still here. and thanks for checking in still despite the lack of updates. (: have a great week ahead everyone.

post edit: i just checked my singtel bill. 771 SMSes...? how the hell did i use so much? i suspect it's just a weird number they randomly come up with to cheat my $

btw, realise im almost always on msn nowadays? haha, im a happy BB convert. hooray to multi-tasking and tactile keyboard! traded in my iphone for a bb9700~ and im loving it. it's starting to irk me, how everyone on the street is whipping out an iphone from their bag. loL..okay i hope this last...cos im pretty aware that my record's not so hot :p

Cicada Tree

Before i forget, CHECK THIS OUT!

One of my lecturer co-founded this organisation. and i think its pretty damn cool. to think i never knew of this. she actually extended her invitation for me to join/volunteer in their weekly activities with kids. cos during introduction.. we were asked to say something interesting abt ourselves...so being the boring-me-with-a-not-so-interesting life, i just mentioned that i love to get close to nature and i try to do that now through insect macro photography. i swear i can see her eyes light up immediately. shes cool- all eco-conservationist are. keke. be one ! be a cicadian now ! :p

anyway, do check out the site (:

Life is Good.

Pardon me for my lack of updates. Just done with the first week of school. Pretty fast-paced. My calender's already filled with assignment deadlines, weekly reflection journals and presentations. Coursemates seem like pretty nice people; one senior from Murdoch Uni, another one who works in KKH has a common friend, two others who'll always walk into class (together) fashionably late, a handful of them married with kids, and the other not so salient ones .. including me, makes up a total of 16 for our class this year- the smallest by far. Lecturers are rather friendly too. Surprisingly (or not), I'm one of the noisier ones in class. Well, not in the "empty vessel makes the most noise" sense. But rather, for a master's class... this one seems pretty quiet. I don't know if its because most classes are held in the evenings and half the class are part-timers. So they're pretty maxed out by the time classes commence. Or, is this generally an asian culture tradition thingamajig? Just sit and listen with minimal contribution. Or, maybe they shy, need time to warm-up? There are a few super enthusiastic ones though. They actually took the initiative to suggest bulk printing of notes and stuffs.. Quite smart- They initiate, but I photocopy. -.-" but it's okay la, KPO what to do. Shall do them this favour :D

So, I'm doing one unit on psychological assessment and two on counselling this semester. Counselling units freak me out alot. Extremely experiential, especially the one on group dynamics. Way out of my comfort zone but that's when learning occurs hey. So, here goes nothing...! Gonna give my best !

This semester's gonna go by in a blink I guess. Hopefully I'll do well. *fingers crossed* :D
How have I been? (please refer to blog title :p ) hehe..okay, not going into details for now.

I'm gonna rest. goodnight !

"Even now, all possible feelings do not yet exist, there are still those that lie beyond our capacity and our imagination. From time to time, when a piece of music no one has ever written or a painting no one has ever painted, or something else impossible to predict, fathom or yet describe takes place, a new feeling enters the world. And then, for the millionth time in the history of feeling, the heart surges and absorbs the impact." -Nicole Krauss (The History of Love)

record setter.

Two prawns in 3hrs.
One each.

beat that !

as the headspinning 2009 comes to a close;

So here we are at the end of another year. Another year older, another year wiser, hopefully.

I think I've learnt so much this year. About others, about myself... Well, just about humanity in general. The biggest epiphany I've had this year is still the one about relationships. To know who are the people who really matter, and appreciate them more. To avoid or eliminate others who only give out negative energy. It's tiring to deal with them. And that's something which I don't need at this point in my life.

I've learnt that it's okay to say "No". I've always been a very obliging person. But I've learnt that saying "No" doesn't make you bad, or any less nice. Sometimes you have to say "No" for your own sake, for your own health. How can one expect to help others, or make others happy, when he himself is in need of help? It's not impossible to do so, but being in a state of wholeness enables one to better spread joy to others around. And you need rest to be able to do that. It's also okay to say "No" because the people who should and do matter, will eventually understand. Of course we should never take them for granted. But generally, they do understand. Others that simply can't or won't understand and conversely give you grief for it... well, maybe it's time to do some relationship pruning. I'm just sayin', you know? I've also learnt that relationships are dynamic. They are constantly evolving and moving all the time. And it takes work to maintain a relationship. Until we realise that, none of our relationships are going to be lasting, be it between family, friends or lovers. It all requires effort. Just to stay home have some quality time, have a meal together.. Just a chill session over coffee with old friends. Just time out for the two of you. It all requires effort. It all requires a certain amount of commitment. And we have to specially set aside time for that. Because it's important.

So yes, my New Year Resolution is to have more balance in my life. Now that Uni's starting again, need to consciously remind myself to set aside more time for the people whom I care for. To see them happy. If I can achieve this, then yes, I think it is a type of success too.

Happy 2010 everyone.

Prov 4:23

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life"

This verse surfaced to my mind a number of times.
As we all know, whatever is in our hearts will flow out through our words and our actions.

So now I'm asking myself- what is really in my heart?

Today;

MORE RAIN. I like rain. So good, in fact, I am looking forward to a few more days of just that. For me to devour journal articles and brainstorming that comes from dark, grey thunderstorms in the middle of the afternoon. Awesome. Hello coffee. I've missed you :)

That being said, I'm really looking forward to Avatar 3D tomorrow~ woohoo~ heard raving reviews about it~ hope it lives up to expectation, yeaps ! and looking forward to a good time of hanging out too of course, been awhile since i've visited the malls. hmm. Therefore meaning, I did not do any Christmas shopping this year. haha :x

Flywheel.

Caught a great movie today ! Thanks for the invite mq :)

Though its a low-budget film and acting wasn't exactly professional and stuffs, i still think this movie is amazing. The storyline easily makes up for some of the film's shortcomings. It's a Christian film with strong messages of love, redemption, transformation and grace.. uplifting and inspirational. I believe non-christians will like this film too. There were some funny bits here and there as well. Definitely worth a watch :)

Lots of afterthoughts, but something that actually stood out for me was that I realised there will be consequences for every action made- even after apologising. Our God is a God of justice and while He may have forgiven us, He still allows the (painful) consequences to happen.

I guess God forgives sin immediately upon repentance, but it takes longer to build character. It is our character, not forgiveness, that determines what God brings next to our life. Additionally, I feel the film did a great job in portraying what true repentance really is- Dont just apologise for the wrong things you've done. Unlearn the wrong things, and learn to do the right things at once! Willingness and obedience must go together.

Because we know the devastating consequences of our disobedience, let us diligently avoid every sin and "and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us" (Hebrews 12:1).

Btw, I've always wanted to watch "Facing the Giants". Just realised its from the same producer as Flywheel ! :)

and, thank God operation went well for JD's mum. Stay strong fellow aizai, will continue to pray for you and your family. I'll defintely avail myself for you if I can be of further help. We're all rooting for you. take care :)

+ God Bless

once bitten twice shy.

i guess im just more cautious now.